Help Me Prevent This From Turning Bad

[SunshineMama]

Today is day 1 of DCG coming back after "potty training" this weekend. Mom sent me texts of little pookie on the mini potty on their living room floor, with captions like, "we've been trying every 30 minutes and she's gone 2 times!" And things like "still trying!"

She tried before coming over and didnt potty, and was dry at drop off. I like to give every child their fair chance, so I took her immediately and sat her on the potty for 10 minutes. Nothing. She was wet 20 minutes later. I asked mom how long she usually sits before going, and she said about 15 minutes.

Mom supplied diapers, and pull ups, and has not made any demands, and just has asked for a little help on my end with supporting her wanting to train her. I do have a policy that they have to be in diapers or pull ups until they have 2 dry weeks and can ask themselves.

Based on what I am hearing from DCM, it really doesnt seem like DCG is potty training, it just seems like they are putting her on the potty so much that they happen to catch her when she pees, but DCM is set on getting her potty trained. If I take her at reasonable intervals, every hour and a half or so, do you think that is going to do any good or is it just a waste of time? DCG will sit on the potty by herself for spans of time-can I just stick her on there while I go about regular business? (I have an open plan and can hear her very easily). I like dcm and dcg and want to help, but I also dont want to waste my time and try forever to potty train this kid.

Thoughts? I dont want to say nothing, but I also dont want to come off like I dont care, bc I do.

[cheerfuldom]

I would put this child in pullups and take her when you can and if she is within hearing distance, then yes, just set her up there and go back and check after a bit. If she is being cooperative, i would go with it for now. I would just offer opportunities when it is convenient for you or when she asks to go but I wouldnt sit in there all day with her. There is only so much you can do but for now, it doesnt seem like mom is asking too much and if DCK is cooperative, I would give it a go. at least for this week. Something that mom and you can start doing is working with DCK on wiping and redressing herself when she is done, flushing, washing hands so there is less for you to be supervising as time goes on.

[Blackcat31]

Yep, put her in Pull-ups, take her when you have time or when she indicates that she wants to try.

If mom wants updates, the ONLY words I would use are "She's trying" and that's it.

I would NOT give play by plays or details as THAT is where providers go wrong. The minute a child doesn't have the progress a parent wants to see, they start blaming the provider or point at YOUR methods or lack of putting her on the toilet periodically etc...

Just say the vague phrase of "She's trying" or some version of it.
Anything else just creates unrealistic expectations for you and for the child.

"She tries hard every day"
"She's working on it"
"She is trying hard"

rinse and repeat.

[SunshineMama]

Thanks! Excellent advice on what not to say-i would have definitely made that mistake!

[Leanna]

We at XZY Family Child Care are happy to help families with toilet learning process as soon as your child can do all of the following:
- shows an interest in the potty and/or toileting
- shows an awareness of bodily functions
- pull-up his/her own pants after diaper changes and when getting dressed
- can reliably sit unsupported
- can follow simple verbal instructions
- stays dry for longer periods of time
- can express the need to use the potty

Sometimes if a parent is talking about it too early I will add "is at least 24 mos. old" to the list.

[nannyde]

Yep, put her in Pull-ups, take her when you have time or when she indicates that she wants to try.

If mom wants updates, the ONLY words I would use are "She's trying" and that's it.

I would NOT give play by plays or details as THAT is where providers go wrong. The minute a child doesn't have the progress a parent wants to see, they start blaming the provider or point at YOUR methods or lack of putting her on the toilet periodically etc...

Just say the vague phrase of "She's trying" or some version of it.
Anything else just creates unrealistic expectations for you and for the child.

"She tries hard every day"
"She's working on it"
"She is trying hard"

rinse and repeat.

Don't forget: tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it. Thank you Anne of green gables.

I would keep her in diapers and just sit her on the pot at normal changes. I would not do any parent conferencing about it other than I will tell you if she asks me to go potty before she has to go potty. Other than that I don't talk daily about it.

I had this kid who left a year ago May. She turned two in May and her mom would not stop about her being ready and going in underwear all the time at home. She talked about it EVERY drop off and pick up. She accused me of not doing enough and was very upset that I wouldn't let her be in underwear.

I shut the daycare down to remodel and try to sell the house so the kids went to a center. We are Facebook friends and a few weeks ago she had a pic of the kid in diapers. I messaged her and said "she still in diapers?"

It was a full year and she still wasn't trained. I told her that she was a long way off... most likely a year at least. I was right and my care had NOTHING to do with it.

I don't appreciate the wonton disregard for my time. I will not do a labor intensive task to save someone a buck a day.

I've had only a small handful of parents who accurately predicted when their kid was ready to train. Many are a year or more off. I won't engage in tasks with the child and 2x a day conferencing so I get my response down to a few words and say them over and over.

[SunshineMama]