Tweet
I have come to realize that I am very naïve when it comes to parents. I never expected to be so disrespected and used in this profession. I can talk to parents till I'm blue in the face add all kinds of things to my contract and it still doesn't make a bit of difference. I know this is mainly my fault for being too nice and letting things slide so now how do I fix this? I have thought about just weeding all the disrespectful ones out and basically starting over. Not letting anything slide and not being so nice. I try to be understanding of circumstances but that has led to it being an all the time thing. I had a separated mom she said money was tight so I let her not pay on the days the child wasn't here instead of full time rates. Well this was 10 months ago. I have talked to her 3 times now that she needs to pay full-time rates even had her sign a new contract. She paid for awhile but then ran into money troubles and paid me short last week. The parents know I love their kids and have a hard time just terminating but I don't know what else to do. I could go on and on about all the things parents have done including this morning but this would be a novel. So how do not feel guilty about terming? Should I just start over. Sorry this went on and on.
-
-
Agh! sorry. Unfortunately, this is the way it works a lot of the time. People love to get something for nothing. For the short pay person I would require the rest of the payment before you allow the kid back in to care. That should get the message across loud and clear. -
Unfortunately stupid me let her come back yesterday. I could kick myself for letting people walk on me
Then had same mom say to me today "oh by the way I work late tonight k thanks bye" and walk out the door. Ugggg I just wanted to say oh by the way I quit but she was to her car by the time I picked my jaw up off the floor.
Comment
-
uploading you some weed killer!!!!! when she meets you at the door tonight you need to give her a bill for the amount due, plus late fees if you want. I promise,.. I had the same mom,.. she is clueless about being respectful! and she has the money,.. she doesnt want you to think so but she does. if she DIDNT she would have spoke with you before hand.
Unfortunately stupid me let her come back yesterday. I could kick myself for letting people walk on me Then had same mom say to me today "oh by the way I work late tonight k thanks bye" and walk out the door. Ugggg I just wanted to say oh by the way I quit but she was to her car by the time I picked my jaw up off the floor.Comment
-
Maybe you could write a letter to ALL parents and just let them know you are no longer going to allow people to take advantage of your niceness and will now be strictly enforcing all policies for payments, scheduling and atendance as of (date). Then do it. I started using the Minute Menu accounting part of the software we get from the food program. But what I told my DCP's is that all late fees and late payments are added automatically and I can't change it or delete them. They pay now cuz they can't argue with my software! LOL!!Comment
-
I have a mother that is the same way. She has 3 kids ages 5,3,1. She got upset when she found out she had to pay full time hours for the 5 year old since she's only a preschooler. Just in the past week I've had these problems with her:
1. She didn't pay me on Wednesday and got upset when I enforced my $5/day late fee for non payment.
2. She brought her daughters one more and literally threw them in the door and ran out (trying to avoid me I think).
3. Later that day I found out the middle girl had puked 2 times the night before and when I asked mom about it she claims the girl stuck her hand down her throat!
4. Brought youngest daughter yesterday with crusty mattery eyes. I tried getting ahold of mom but she ignored my calls and texts. Called dad and he was here within 10 minutes picking up and taking her to the dr. She's out with pink eye.
5. Told dad yesterday that the youngest couldn't come back til thursday but that other two could come, this morning comes and goes and no sign of the middle girl... I text dad (dad is formerly deaf so texting is how we communicate), sure stuff, the girls are all staying home, so I told him that next time he better send me a text and let me know what is going on. I'm on my last straw with them. I just revamped my policy, so we'll see how it goes!Comment
-
Ugh...
I can relate to your post, nikia. When I first started as a home daycare provider, I found myself in situations where I was always making compromises and exceptions for the parents of the kids in my care and even though I had a good contract and they all signed it, I didn't hold the parents to the policies that I set. As a result, I had a hard time with enforcing my policies with the families that were used to having me compromise for them and make exceptions for them. I had to deal with angry parents who would ask me why I wasn't letting them switch days or why I sent the kid home for "just a cold" or "just teething". I did a lot of blanket correcting and lots of notes on my bulletin board to help with not putting parents on the defensive too much, because I realized that I was as responsible as the parents were. I had to think about it from their perspective, too. I allowed them to get away with so much and then I pulled the rug out from under them. It was going to take time to "de-program" them and it was going to be rough. I learned to set boundaries as a result and it's been the difference between loving my job and hating it. I also felt more professional, too. It'll be hard, no doubt, but you'll find it easier and easier every time that you have to deal with issues that come up.
It may seem a little bit on the mean side for me to say this but I found it helpful. Make it your goal to know as little as possible about the personal problems of the daycare parents. Obviously, it's important to know things in regard to the child having a safe place to live, but other than that, try to be as detached as you can be. If you don't know about a parent's personal business, then you don't have to feel bad for holding the parent to the policies that they agreed to in your contract.Comment
-
My parents have not shown any ugly sides yet but I know there are excellent parents out there who know how to be respectful so I say weed them out.Comment
-
Tell your parents that the rules of money are: pay your mortgage/rent, pay your day care provider, and pay your taxes all the rest comes after those three. One of my clients was talking about how she cannot afford to pay tabs on one of their cars and they expired about a year ago. Then later in the conversation I found out she pays for a $10 netflix account. I interrupted her and pointed out that a year of netflix would have paid for the tabs. I haven't heard much about money from her since.
It's hard put stick to your policies and follow through. I had to learn it the hard way too but I have such great clients now that it was so worth terming those who didn't pay.Celebrate! :
:Comment
-
Not mean at all, it's just a matter of setting boundries and showing your professionalism. For the first time ever this year I had a parent try to lay the "we're just having a hard time financially" trip on me in an effort to get a lower rate. My reply? "Yes, it's difficult for everyone right now. I'm sure if you take a look at your budget you will be able to cut from somewhere. If you need any tips, let me know, as I sometimes need to whittle my budget as well."Comment
-
I think a letter would be a good idea. But what would you say, Just be point blank I have been stupid and let some of you take advantage of my understanding and kindness and it ends now? I was to be strong and get the point across but dont want to offend anyone either. There in lies my problem :
:
I dont think anything you said was mean. I am at fault for this I should have never let things go like I did. I just know how hard times can be and wanted to help. I never treated my dcp like I get treated when my kids where in a day care. I never lied or covered an illness. I just assumed people were better than what I am finding out and it ****s.
I know there are good families out there. If I raised my rates would that possibly weed some of these families out? Not that poorer people arent great I happen to be one of them :: but people that are only concerned with price I seem to have the most problem with.
I dont know thanks ladies for reading my vents
Comment
-
I would say something like:
Dear Parents,
In my line of work flexibility and compromise are necessary. However, I have recently begun to experience a few situations where I feel my generosity has been taken advantage of. Because of this, I want everyone to know that all rules and policies will now be strictly enforced. This includes policies regarding payments, late fees, scheduling and attendance.
Something to that effect..... You aren't pointing any fingers and the offenders will know you are talking to them and if they are embarrassed then good! They should be! If they appreciate what you are doing for them by caring for their child then they should be respectful. If they take advantage too much....they should feel bad......
Maybe even end the letter by saying "To those of you have always respected my policies I thank you very much!" Good luck
...it is HARD to be tough, but if you aren't you will always get taken advantage of.
Quality childcare is NOT expensive...it is priceless!Comment
-
oops. Didn't know this went through.Comment
-
Great wording Blackcat. I would also add something like:I would say something like:
Dear Parents,
In my line of work flexibility and compromise are necessary. However, I have recently begun to experience a few situations where I feel my generosity has been taken advantage of. Because of this, I want everyone to know that all rules and policies will now be strictly enforced. This includes policies regarding payments, late fees, scheduling and attendance.
Something to that effect..... You aren't pointing any fingers and the offenders will know you are talking to them and if they are embarrassed then good! They should be! If they appreciate what you are doing for them by caring for their child then they should be respectful. If they take advantage too much....they should feel bad......
Maybe even end the letter by saying "To those of you have always respected my policies I thank you very much!" Good luck ...it is HARD to be tough, but if you aren't you will always get taken advantage of.
Quality childcare is NOT expensive...it is priceless!
Please take this time to review the terms of your contract. I would be happy to furnish you with a courtesy copy of your contract at your request.Comment
Comment