Something Wrong With Child?

[midaycare]

I have a new dcg. This is her second week, but she is only part time, so today is her 5th day with me. She will be 2 in August.

She seems ... a little slow on the uptake. I don't know how else to explain it. I have another dcg who is almost the same age - within a week, so I have a good measure of what that age looks like. Here are my concerns:

1) New dcg never had an issue of adjustment. She didn't mind when her parents left - even the first day. She gets dropped off, she goes to play, doesn't even look back for a hug.

2) Dcg is slow moving. Toddlers, in my experience, move fast. They are clumsy, sure, but they want to move towards toys, and run away, and go explore. Not dcg. She kind of hangs around. She might look at things here and there, but for the most part, she will walk slowly to grab something, slowly look at it, show it to me, and then drop it. Then she will repeat this.

3) No real words yet. She does a few signs, and I have been able to get her to say about 5 words, but she rarely even makes noises. She will point to something within reach, look at me and say, "eh, eh." She actually wants me to hand it to her. I tell her to get it. Then she does. Then she repeats the process with something else within reach.

4) She eats everything. She even tried to lick my cat. I know some kids like to eat things, so maybe not a big issue.

5) Because she doesn't really have words or sounds, she does an all body shake when she is excited or nervous. Looks like a little seizure (but is not). Every time she sees my cat I think I'm going to have to call 911. And oddly, when she cries, she also makes no noise. I will be looking at her, and all of a sudden, a tear drops. She will usually cry if I leave the room to go potty.

Any ideas? I really can barely tell she is there, and I try my best to engage her, but ... I'm out of ideas. She is literally a bump on a log. I'm thinking there must be something wrong.

I suspect lazy parents. I can't say for sure.

[preschoolteacher]

I suspect TV. Too much at home. Not enough engagement, talking, playing.

It's good she cries when you leave, though. It shows she understands adults are a safe presence and she's forming trust and bonds. But none of the kids I have that age would cry if I left the room for a minute... But the 12-14 months old would.

[ihop]

This sounds JUST like my nephew. Similar age. He does all of those things except the cat licking...
He spent a lot of time at home not being socialized and it takes him a while to warm up, even to me. He's been in care two months and is just starting to play and talk. He used to just stand around and watch. When he real, really wanted to play he would walk slowly and barely do anything before putting the toy away again.

When he is at home he talks up a storm and runs amuck. Just different environments really effect him. Sorry im no help. But your dck isn't the only one.

[preschoolteacher]

Can she talk? Or does she just not talk at daycare? I'd ask her parents.

[midaycare]

Can she talk? Or does she just not talk at daycare? I'd ask her parents.

She can not talk. They chose my daycare because it is more of a learning center/home daycare. The parents said they were "so worried" she could not talk and they were in the process of getting early services for her.

But ... I have gotten her to talk, with A LOT of work. I have her saying things like "no-no", "dog", "cat", "meow". Parents claim she only grunts and makes "eh-eh" noise at home. This is why I think parents are lazy.

I also think it's weird that parents seemed so concerned about her learning and talking, and when I update them every day, they now seem to care less. For people who wanted their dd to talk, when I tell you she is talking, that's a pretty big deal. Oh, and by the way, go home and practice with her! Sorry, rant over.

I just wonder with her slow-ness of walking, and moving too, is it something more than tv? Or does tv have that affect on kids? I had 2 kids that really liked tv that I termed after 1 night. Two brothers, 2.5 and 1. They were obviously raised on tv. But they were wild!

[NightOwl]

They care less because you are doing THEIR job, which is what they were hoping for. They want results without any effort on their part. Some people, I swear.... My first thought is that she sounds very introverted. Does she make eye contact? Is she Ok with being touched? Do different textures bother her or the tags in her shirts? What about repetitive movements like rocking or opening/closing doors over and over?

[midaycare]

They care less because you are doing THEIR job, which is what they were hoping for. They want results without any effort on their part. Some people, I swear.... My first thought is that she sounds very introverted. Does she make eye contact? Is she Ok with being touched? Do different textures bother her or the tags in her shirts? What about repetitive movements like rocking or opening/closing doors over and over?

The only thing that I have noticed out of those you listed is that she has a space issue. Not necessarily with me, although she is not wanting hugs, kisses & cuddles like the others. But she will want to sit near me. If, however, another child would like to sit near her, she starts grunting and will push them away.

Other than that, great eye contact, and no rocking. I have noticed textures. She will touch different things and seems okay - she just doesn't play with anything for long.

She's also a scarily good sleeper. Put her in a pack and play and she doesn't even need to settle. Boom! She's asleep. If she wakes up early, and you don't take her out right away, fine. No fuss. Weird.

[craftymissbeth]

The only thing that I have noticed out of those you listed is that she has a space issue. Not necessarily with me, although she is not wanting hugs, kisses & cuddles like the others. But she will want to sit near me. If, however, another child would like to sit near her, she starts grunting and will push them away.

Other than that, great eye contact, and no rocking. I have noticed textures. She will touch different things and seems okay - she just doesn't play with anything for long.

She's also a scarily good sleeper. Put her in a pack and play and she doesn't even need to settle. Boom! She's asleep. If she wakes up early, and you don't take her out right away, fine. No fuss. Weird.

I'm sold! We can meet up somewhere or you can have her shipped

[NightOwl]

I'll take 5 please. Lol.
I feel like something is up. The lack of expressive emotion or expressive speech is troublesome. She obviously feels emotion because you said you had seen her cry, even though it was silent. And she seems to ask permission to take things from your description of the "eh, eh" and pointing. This behavior as a whole is just not normal toddler behavior. I am SO going to be berated for this but I'll say it anyway. Her behaviors sound like a description of a sociopath when they were a child. "He never interacted much....", "she was never outwardly upset when she should have been...", "he seemed to always bottle things up....", etc. There. Flame me. I'll be the bad guy.
Anyway, her lack of any obvious attachment to her parents is probably the most concerning. Sometimes there's a honeymoon period with children where the first couple of days are awesome and magically perfect, then reality sets in for them that coming to you (and be separated from parents) is not a novelty but will be a regular occurrence. Then the honeymoon is OVER! Lol. They spend the next two months throwing an all out hissy at drop off. So is it possible she is still in the honeymoon phase? That's a much more appealing thought than you having a sociopath on your hands.
Yes, it is a good sign that she becomes upset when you leave the room, but that's not attachment. That's a security thing. You make her feel secure. But she's not showing any signs of distress when her parents leave? What does THAT say??

[midaycare]

I'm sold! We can meet up somewhere or you can have her shipped

Ha ha! I know, I know. But something just feels "off".

[midaycare]

Anyway, her lack of any obvious attachment to her parents is probably the most concerning. Sometimes there's a honeymoon period with children where the first couple of days are awesome and magically perfect, then reality sets in for them that coming to you (and be separated from parents) is not a novelty but will be a regular occurrence. Then the honeymoon is OVER! Lol. They spend the next two months throwing an all out hissy at drop off. So is it possible she is still in the honeymoon phase? That's a much more appealing thought than you having a sociopath on your hands.
Yes, it is a good sign that she becomes upset when you leave the room, but that's not attachment. That's a security thing. You make her feel secure. But she's not showing any signs of distress when her parents leave? What does THAT say??

I do not think this is a honeymoon period. It's still early, but she never even seems to care at drop off. Just, "okay, I'm here now." My son was pretty easy going, but he wouldn't have been okay with a new daycare, and he always wanted hugs, kisses, cuddles before I left.

[NightOwl]

I would definitely encourage mom to proceed with services. Do you have an evaluation you could do to see where dcg is at developmentally? I like Ages and Stages.

[midaycare]

I would definitely encourage mom to proceed with services. Do you have an evaluation you could do to see where dcg is at developmentally? I like Ages and Stages.

Funny you should mention that, I was looking for a good eval for my kids. That's one of the ones I was looking at.

[midaycare]

I would definitely encourage mom to proceed with services. Do you have an evaluation you could do to see where dcg is at developmentally? I like Ages and Stages.

Wednesday, which form of Ages & Stages do you use & is there a free version?

[taylorw1210]

I have a little girl who was like this when I got her. She was never socialized with other kids, was always with adults, and was babysat by the television. She was so emotionless when I first got her. She also never interacted with any of the other kids in my care and had some pretty weird behaviors. It took me quite a while to get her to warm up to interacting with other kids, but she still prefers to be playing on her own - mom still does not socialize her with other kids outside of daycare and she's only with me 3 days/week. I've had her almost a year and she's very emotional now (she turned 2 in March) and talks up a storm. Although I've also considered having her evaluated because some of her behaviors are still just... off.