On Potty Training Policies and a "Potty Watch"....

[taylorw1210]

So, I have a few kiddos in the potty training stage right now.

I have a 2yo dcg that will regularly tell me when she has to go, and we do - but she does not 100% of the time and her mom is okay with that. She just turned 2.
I have a 13 mo. old dcb who also tells me when he has to pee maybe 2x a day, and he goes - but obviously has the rest of the day where he does not.

I have a nearly 3 yo dcb that never communicates when he needs to go. Sometimes if others are, he will decide he needs to and will go - but never on his own does he tell me he needs to go. The parents have been "potty training" since the day the boy turned 2, and he's now almost 3. They insist that he does "perfectly" at home when they set him on the toilet every hour. I keep telling them that the boy needs to verbally communicate with me when he has to go. We do have a potty schedule for the kiddos in the potty training stage, and we will take bathroom breaks 4x a day - but it is not an hour apart and I am not willing to do that - I don't even do that for my own 2.5 yo daughter who I am hoping will PT soon.

He was brought with a potty watch today that is set to every hour and I was instructed to place him on the potty every hour. Uhm... no.

I do not currently have a potty training policy in my handbook but will be writing one up very soon to hand out to all the families who have children who are coming up on potty training. What is your potty training policy and how would you handle the particular family that wants me to place their son on the potty every hour?

[Blackcat31]

So, I have a few kiddos in the potty training stage right now.

I have a 2yo dcg that will regularly tell me when she has to go, and we do - but she does not 100% of the time and her mom is okay with that. She just turned 2.
I have a 23 mo. old dcb who also tells me when he has to pee maybe 2x a day, and he goes - but obviously has the rest of the day where he does not.

I have a nearly 3 yo dcb that never communicates when he needs to go. Sometimes if others are, he will decide he needs to and will go - but never on his own does he tell me he needs to go. The parents have been "potty training" since the day the boy turned 2, and he's now almost 3. They insist that he does "perfectly" at home when they set him on the toilet every hour. I keep telling them that the boy needs to verbally communicate with me when he has to go. We do have a potty schedule for the kiddos in the potty training stage, and we will take bathroom breaks 4x a day - but it is not an hour apart and I am not willing to do that - I don't even do that for my own 2.5 yo daughter who I am hoping will PT soon.

He was brought with a potty watch today that is set to every hour and I was instructed to place him on the potty every hour. Uhm... no.

I do not currently have a potty training policy in my handbook but will be writing one up very soon to hand out to all the families who have children who are coming up on potty training. What is your potty training policy and how would you handle the particular family that wants me to place their son on the potty every hour?

Here is a great place to start.... LOTS of great info and a nice way to explain to parents "our end" of the situation.

https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/potty-training-letter-to-parents.htm#comment-24850

[taylorw1210]

Here is a great place to start.... LOTS of great info and a nice way to explain to parents "our end" of the situation.

https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/pott...#comment-24850

Thank you. I already have this up in one of my browser's tabs and planned on using it to create my own letter to my families... however, I wanted some other provider's insight, too.

The family that is having an issue is starting to make me feel like I am intentionally not assisting with potty training. However, I do not feel like the boy is ready and putting him on the potty every hour is not going to assist with his ability to tell me when he needs to go - he needs to be able to communicate the feeling of needing to go and he does not.

[SilverSabre25]

ooohhh the parents of the almost 3 yo sound JUST like a family I dealt with a few years ago. They announced about a week before her 2nd birthday that they were going to potty train her "the day she turned 2" and would be coming in underwear starting then.

Um, no.

Among other things, the child displayed ZERO readiness signs. Zip, zilch, nada. I put my foot down on the underwear so they did pull ups instead

For a year and a half we fought, I mean dealt with, this. I didn't push her here but I offered, in my own style of laissez-faire potty training. There came a point where the mere mention of a potty trip would send her into hysterics. I found out as the 18 months wore on that she would get time outs for having "accidents" and would have to sit on the potty for 30 minutes or more until she peed. Then repeat 30 minutes later I backed off COMPLETELY aside from asking her at transition times if she needed to go. She regressed in other ways in the same time frame and I felt (still feel) horrible about the way she was being treated at home. Still had ZERO readiness signs.

The parents were LIVID. They posted on facebook about how daycare was sabotaging her training and how she was perfect at home, etc etc and their friends commiserated with them and told them to talk to daycare and "educate" the babysitter (GAG) and I passive-aggressively posted lots of links to potty training tips ::

Finally, one day when she was just shy of 3.5 she announced that she had to pee, and she went to the bathroom and sat and peed and managed her own clothing with minimal help too. And within a week I told her parents that she was doing fabulous and was ready for underwear. She never looked back.

All that to say....you're right, they're misinformed, keep it up. You're doing the right thing.

[nannyde]

Thank you. I already have this up in one of my browser's tabs and planned on using it to create my own letter to my families... however, I wanted some other provider's insight, too.

The family that is having an issue is starting to make me feel like I am intentionally not assisting with potty training. However, I do not feel like the boy is ready and putting him on the potty every hour is not going to assist with his ability to tell me when he needs to go - he needs to be able to communicate the feeling of needing to go and he does not.

They just want to stop buying diapers and you can't come up with words that are going to make them happy other than they can stop bringing diapers. If it is causing enough problems that you think they may pull and you can't afford to loose them then maybe supply the diapers yourself. Most parents don't really care if they are toilet trained. Some want the really early toilet training so they can pronounce the kid gifted but MOST just don't want to buy diapers. I keep a huge stock of diapers in my inventory and if it becomes too much conflict I just supply them.

[taylorw1210]

They just want to stop buying diapers and you can't come up with words that are going to make them happy other than they can stop bringing diapers. If it is causing enough problems that you think they may pull and you can't afford to loose them then maybe supply the diapers yourself. Most parents don't really care if they are toilet trained. Some want the really early toilet training so they can pronounce the kid gifted but MOST just don't want to buy diapers. I keep a huge stock of diapers in my inventory and if it becomes too much conflict I just supply them.

I think the big motivating factor is pre-k. They are wanting to send him to a headstart program in the fall that requires he be potty trained to do so. This is their first child, they are super eager to turn him into an overachiever, and are helicopter parents. I am not concerned about losing him as I can easily fill the spot. I am however kicking myself in the butt for not thinking ahead and having a potty training policy in my handbook.

[Blackcat31]

I think the big motivating factor is pre-k. They are wanting to send him to a headstart program in the fall that requires he be potty trained to do so. This is their first child, they are super eager to turn him into an overachiever, and are helicopter parents. I am not concerned about losing him as I can easily fill the spot. I am however kicking myself in the butt for not thinking ahead and having a potty training policy in my handbook.

You don't have to have something written BEFOREHAND to deal with this now.

Just tell the parents that you are GROUP care not ONE child care and what they are asking you is physically impossible to manage.

Then suggest they take a week off, do the hard work themselves and once the child has mastered at least the verbal portion of this process, you will gladly step in and ASSIST or SUPPORT but not DO the WORK for the kid or for the parents.

If they insist, tell them sure but you will need to hire another adult to manage his individual needs and that since they are the ones insisting he master this skill, they will need to pay for said assistant.

fwiw~ Head Start does NOT require children to be potty trained before enrollment.

[taylorw1210]

You don't have to have something written BEFOREHAND to deal with this now.

Just tell the parents that you are GROUP care not ONE child care and what they are asking you is physically impossible to manage.

Then suggest they take a week off, do the hard work themselves and once the child has mastered at least the verbal portion of this process, you will gladly step in and ASSIST or SUPPORT but not DO the WORK for the kid or for the parents.

If they insist, tell them sure but you will need to hire another adult to manage his individual needs and that since they are the ones insisting he master this skill, they will need to pay for said assistant.

fwiw~ Head Start does NOT require children to be potty trained before enrollment.

Hmm... that's interesting. They have told me the program they are looking into requires a child be potty trained and the program they told me they toured was a headstart program. :confused:

I am on a week long vacation next week, and some of my kids are gone already for the week - so I think I'll start working on a notice for a policy addition in regards to potty training...

[taylorw1210]

I just asked the little boy if he "felt pee pee coming" (because we have not been going every hour when the watch sings). He thought for a second and then he looked at his watch and said, "Nope! TWO MINUTES!" ::

[SilverSabre25]

I just asked the little boy if he "felt pee pee coming" (because we have not been going every hour when the watch sings). He thought for a second and then he looked at his watch and said, "Nope! TWO MINUTES!" ::

Actually--here's your middle ground if you want one: When the watch sings, ASK if he needs to go to the bathroom and would like to sit on the potty. Then respect his answer and let it go unti the next hour or the next bathroom break. At the bathroom breaks encourage him to try. Then you can have a happy middle ground for the parents.

[taylorw1210]

Actually--here's your middle ground if you want one: When the watch sings, ASK if he needs to go to the bathroom and would like to sit on the potty. Then respect his answer and let it go unti the next hour or the next bathroom break. At the bathroom breaks encourage him to try. Then you can have a happy middle ground for the parents.

[TheGoodLife]

Here is a copy of my policy that I have for my parents:


Potty Training Policies

The potty training process is an exciting time for everyone! It can also be a difficult and sometimes frustrating transition for a child. Potty training should begin with you at home, during its initial stages. When you feel your child is ready to being using the toilet full-time, let me know and we will discuss his/her readiness. If we both agree that the child is ready (can complete the entire toileting process by themselves), the following Monday they can begin wearing pull-ups at daycare. Your child's time in training pants, is not a substitution for potty training at home, your child should thoroughly understand the process of toileting before they wear training pants to daycare.

Before your child begins to use the toilet at daycare, they MUST have the following established:

▪ Be aware of bowel and bladder fullness. (Before, not after elimination).
▪ Have the muscle development to control elimination.
▪ Have the language to signal the need to the caregivers.
▪ Have the gross and fine motor skills to get to the toilet on time, remove clothing, and then to actually use the toilet, put their clothes back on and wash their hands. Your child should be able to complete the ENTIRE TOILETING PROCESS independently, before beginning at daycare.
▪ A solid handwashing procedure. Here at daycare, I teach children to wet their hands, rub with soap for 30 seconds or more (we sing a few different songs so they know the timing), and then rinse. Practicing good hand-washing at home is important for the health and wellbeing of your child!

Please remember to send your child in clothes that will assist in their using the potty independently. No tight clothing, long shirts or dresses, belts, buttons, buckles, overalls, tights, ect. Independently dressing and undressing is part of being potty trained!

Your child will need to wear pull-ups for two-weeks without having an accident before they can wear underwear to daycare. Children will not be allowed to wear pull-ups if they are using them as diapers.

I can not practice “toilet timing” which involves bringing the child to the toilet every X amount of time, and catching them before the urinate. This is a completely different concept than toilet training, and is not very effective and impossible to do while caring for the other children.

In this daycare, a child is not considered toilet trained if they are still having frequent accidents. Children who have more than one accident every two weeks will be expected to wear pull-ups, until they remain accident free for two weeks. Under no circumstances will a child who is having frequent accidents be allowed to wear underwear.


Please do not send your child in underwear until they have both bowel and bladder control established. Sometimes a child is ready at home for a period of time before they are ready at daycare. There is no shaming a child for accidents, and I will not force or push potty training here before they are ready!

[Blackcat31]

Hmm... that's interesting. They have told me the program they are looking into requires a child be potty trained and the program they told me they toured was a headstart program. :confused:

Both of these documents show that Head Start does NOT require kids to be trained. The first document is from CA specifically but HS is a federal program and most HS's follow the same federal guidelines. The second link is actually from Head Start and on page 26 talks about toileting and the training process.

http://psscfs.sacramentoheadstart.net/hnpdf/polpro/toilettraining-po.pr.pdf

http://www.esc16.net/users/0001/docs...h%20Safety.pdf (page 26)

HTH

[nannyde]

Both of these documents show that Head Start does NOT require kids to be trained. The first document is from CA specifically but HS is a federal program and most HS's follow the same federal guidelines. The second link is actually from Head Start and on page 26 talks about toileting and the training process.

http://psscfs.sacramentoheadstart.net/hnpdf/polpro/toilettraining-po.pr.pdf

http://www.esc16.net/users/0001/docs...h%20Safety.pdf (page 26)

HTH

If they have a deadline to train then it's best to take time off work and train him to say the words "I have to go potty" BEFORE he has to go.

I can't tell you how many providers get caught up in preschool ready potty training. It doesn't have a thing to do with daycare. Don't allow them to make it. Have your policies in place and time frames in place and stick to it.

[taylorw1210]

Here is a copy of my policy that I have for my parents:


Potty Training Policies

The potty training process is an exciting time for everyone! It can also be a difficult and sometimes frustrating transition for a child. Potty training should begin with you at home, during its initial stages. When you feel your child is ready to being using the toilet full-time, let me know and we will discuss his/her readiness. If we both agree that the child is ready (can complete the entire toileting process by themselves), the following Monday they can begin wearing pull-ups at daycare. Your child's time in training pants, is not a substitution for potty training at home, your child should thoroughly understand the process of toileting before they wear training pants to daycare.

Before your child begins to use the toilet at daycare, they MUST have the following established:

▪ Be aware of bowel and bladder fullness. (Before, not after elimination).
▪ Have the muscle development to control elimination.
▪ Have the language to signal the need to the caregivers.
▪ Have the gross and fine motor skills to get to the toilet on time, remove clothing, and then to actually use the toilet, put their clothes back on and wash their hands. Your child should be able to complete the ENTIRE TOILETING PROCESS independently, before beginning at daycare.
▪ A solid handwashing procedure. Here at daycare, I teach children to wet their hands, rub with soap for 30 seconds or more (we sing a few different songs so they know the timing), and then rinse. Practicing good hand-washing at home is important for the health and wellbeing of your child!

Please remember to send your child in clothes that will assist in their using the potty independently. No tight clothing, long shirts or dresses, belts, buttons, buckles, overalls, tights, ect. Independently dressing and undressing is part of being potty trained!

Your child will need to wear pull-ups for two-weeks without having an accident before they can wear underwear to daycare. Children will not be allowed to wear pull-ups if they are using them as diapers.

I can not practice “toilet timing” which involves bringing the child to the toilet every X amount of time, and catching them before the urinate. This is a completely different concept than toilet training, and is not very effective and impossible to do while caring for the other children.

In this daycare, a child is not considered toilet trained if they are still having frequent accidents. Children who have more than one accident every two weeks will be expected to wear pull-ups, until they remain accident free for two weeks. Under no circumstances will a child who is having frequent accidents be allowed to wear underwear.


Please do not send your child in underwear until they have both bowel and bladder control established. Sometimes a child is ready at home for a period of time before they are ready at daycare. There is no shaming a child for accidents, and I will not force or push potty training here before they are ready!

Love this! This is exactly what I'm looking to give to my parents. Thanks so much for sharing your policy.