Need Opinions Please:)

[Pinkowl]

Hi everyone! I need your help. I just started a new family last week...dcb 4 and dcg 16 months. The mother is a teacher and had the kids coming 3 days a week in the summer. I was kind of skeptical from the beginning, bc of the reason her provider stopped care. They had been there for 3 years but the provider said she didn't want to do part time in the summers anymore. The mother said dhe offered to pay the full time, but the provider said she already filled the spot. Dcm said her provider never talked with her about this before filing the spots and wouldn't call the new family back.(red flag#1) Then, on the day of my interview with her I was sick and told her I needed to reschedule. She texted me back saying that they have no other time they could come and we could make it quick. I was surprised she was that pushy for never even having met yet. (#2)
I ended up taking them on board...we recently moved and we needed the money. She seemed ok during the interview. Now, I'll quickly give you the circumstances surrounding her kids first week. This was our first month in our new house, first week in the new daycare space, my own children's(4 of them!) first week of summer break, and our youngest had been sick. Sooo....first week came and went...on their last day of the week the mom picked up, seemed fine. Later that night she calls me and had a whole list of complaints. She was concerned because her four year old said he'd watched tv( which wasn't much, and I had told her during the interview that we do watch some tv here and she had no problem with that.) and that we hadn't sang any songs one day or done our ABC's..I told her that I don't follow a formal curriculum and that I am more relaxed during the summer. I have my own learning style and have never had a complaint from a parent. All my kids have learned their ABC's, can count and are doing fine! Then she complained that I served them fish sticks and fries one day for lunch!!! Wht?! I had told her in the interview that I try and buy organic when I can, and that I do a lot of from scratch cooking, but not always. She made it sound like I had completely misrepresented myself, but I did nothing different than what I told her. It's been three days!!!!! It's a whole period of transition for all, and I'm so insulted. I thought the week had gone great, and I did lots of fun stuff with her kids. I was so upset about this all weekend. Am I wrong to feel uneasy about this mom? I run my business how it works for me and I feel like, if she doesn't like it, there's the door. My hubby thinks I should wait it out, but I just have a gut feeling that I'm not going to get along with this mom at all. I feel she will cause me lots of stress and self doubt, all of which is unfounded. I want to term on Thursday( their last day here during the week). Am I overreacting?
Thanks ladies!

[deliberateliterate]

I would totally feel insulted as well. It seems as though you have two options. You can just term and be done with it, or just keep on keeping on, don't change anything, and be proud of the job you're doing. She'll either learn to love you, or she'll move on, and you'll just be in the same position as you would be with option one. She sounds very "my way it the hiway".

PS...I'm having a brain fart...is that how you spell hiway?? It doesn't look right, but for the life of me, I can't figure it out. These kids are killing my brain cells!!

[Blackcat31]

Hi everyone! I need your help. I just started a new family last week...dcb 4 and dcg 16 months. The mother is a teacher and had the kids coming 3 days a week in the summer. I was kind of skeptical from the beginning, bc of the reason her provider stopped care. They had been there for 3 years but the provider said she didn't want to do part time in the summers anymore. The mother said dhe offered to pay the full time, but the provider said she already filled the spot. Dcm said her provider never talked with her about this before filing the spots and wouldn't call the new family back.(red flag#1) Then, on the day of my interview with her I was sick and told her I needed to reschedule. She texted me back saying that they have no other time they could come and we could make it quick. I was surprised she was that pushy for never even having met yet. (#2)
I ended up taking them on board...we recently moved and we needed the money. She seemed ok during the interview. Now, I'll quickly give you the circumstances surrounding her kids first week. This was our first month in our new house, first week in the new daycare space, my own children's(4 of them!) first week of summer break, and our youngest had been sick. Sooo....first week came and went...on their last day of the week the mom picked up, seemed fine. Later that night she calls me and had a whole list of complaints. She was concerned because her four year old said he'd watched tv( which wasn't much, and I had told her during the interview that we do watch some tv here and she had no problem with that.) and that we hadn't sang any songs one day or done our ABC's..I told her that I don't follow a formal curriculum and that I am more relaxed during the summer. I have my own learning style and have never had a complaint from a parent. All my kids have learned their ABC's, can count and are doing fine! Then she complained that I served them fish sticks and fries one day for lunch!!! Wht?! I had told her in the interview that I try and buy organic when I can, and that I do a lot of from scratch cooking, but not always. She made it sound like I had completely misrepresented myself, but I did nothing different than what I told her. It's been three days!!!!! It's a whole period of transition for all, and I'm so insulted. I thought the week had gone great, and I did lots of fun stuff with her kids. I was so upset about this all weekend. Am I wrong to feel uneasy about this mom? I run my business how it works for me and I feel like, if she doesn't like it, there's the door. My hubby thinks I should wait it out, but I just have a gut feeling that I'm not going to get along with this mom at all. I feel she will cause me lots of stress and self doubt, all of which is unfounded. I want to term on Thursday( their last day here during the week). Am I overreacting?
Thanks ladies!

Welcome to the forum

[Pinkowl]

Thank you I get the same impression of her as well. She seems to want me to only pay attention to her children. :/ This whole situation is very hard on me because I recently had to say goodbye to 5 great families because we moved. Too far or them to follow They all always made me feel so appreciated and respected. They were all like my family, and I'm really missing them. Now I'm feeling bad, and unappreciated. It will take time I realize, to find families who are good fits. It just ****s

[preschoolteacher]

I'd be offended, too. I like the other person's advice of just keep doing what you do proudly, don't apologize.

Do you have a two week trial period? I'd check in with her after two weeks with something like...

"We reached the end of our two week trial period, and I'd like to check in with you about the questions you raised last week. In terms of our curriculum, we engage in hands-on learning through play, especially in the summer when the kids can be outdoors. I do not use a formal curriculum. The kids may occasionally watch a little TV, but most of our days are spent... (fill in the blank with your activities). As for meals, I serve organic food often, but not every meal. I sensed last week that you may have been unsatisfied with some of my program's policies. Please let me know if you intend to continue at ABC daycare. I do require a two week notice when a family leaves my program."

I wouldn't go back and forth on your policies with her at all. Just "those are my policies!"

I'd give this one chance for her to realize you're not a nanny. If she still pushes it, I'd term.

[TwinKristi]

Yeah I would be insulted as well but like the others, stick to your program and if she's unhappy then she can find someone new. I highly doubt her story about the previous provider, who does that?

Do you know anyone in your new area who does daycare? A local Facebook group, association or anything? You could nonchalantly ask the older DCK who's house they used to go to but in a non-suspicious manner, maybe ask what the favorite food she served was or if she sang a certain song or something and do some footwork yourself. If mom asks just say you want to make them comfortable or something and asked what fun things she did.
But I would probably expect more crap from her and more demands before either she leaves or you term.

[Pinkowl]

Welcome to the forum

Thanks blackcat31!!

[KidGrind]

Thanks blackcat31!!

I’ve been riding it out because I bonded with the kid aaaaaaaand I enjoy my shopping money. LOL!

Do you like the kids? Are they great kids to care for? Only you can answer those questions. I say ride it out until the next phone call or complaint. Do not argue, explain or debate with her on the phone, just listen. At the end say, “Jane I understand your concerns. I need to think about this and I’ll let you know _______ (next business day) what I can come up with.”

The next business day have a two week notice ready for her and be down with her.

I am hoping it stops and you get to have a great time this summer.

[KiddieCahoots]

Welcome! :hug:
Losing families you love it tough!
Finding families the same to replace them is even tougher!

I'd give it a little more time, 1 week can be hard to settle out completely.

She's a teacher, maybe she's the kind of teacher that gets it, understands how child care and school are closely linked, and is testing you on your "know how"?
Then again, she could be the kind of teacher and person with hidden agenda, trying to use it against you.

You don't really know yet, do you?

If not, I'd get up the gump and tackle her on any problem or concern she had, hoping to set the stage on the working relationship.

If it was more of problem, after ridiculous problem, then I'd send her on her way.

[MotherNature]

I would totally feel insulted as well. It seems as though you have two options. You can just term and be done with it, or just keep on keeping on, don't change anything, and be proud of the job you're doing. She'll either learn to love you, or she'll move on, and you'll just be in the same position as you would be with option one. She sounds very "my way it the hiway".

PS...I'm having a brain fart...is that how you spell hiway?? It doesn't look right, but for the life of me, I can't figure it out. These kids are killing my brain cells!!

highway

[deliberateliterate]

highway

Thank you! Good grief! I typed and deleted it so many times, and couldn't figure it out.:confused:

[debbiedoeszip]

Hi everyone! I need your help. I just started a new family last week...dcb 4 and dcg 16 months. The mother is a teacher and had the kids coming 3 days a week in the summer. I was kind of skeptical from the beginning, bc of the reason her provider stopped care. They had been there for 3 years but the provider said she didn't want to do part time in the summers anymore. The mother said dhe offered to pay the full time, but the provider said she already filled the spot. Dcm said her provider never talked with her about this before filing the spots and wouldn't call the new family back.(red flag#1) Then, on the day of my interview with her I was sick and told her I needed to reschedule. She texted me back saying that they have no other time they could come and we could make it quick. I was surprised she was that pushy for never even having met yet. (#2)
I ended up taking them on board...we recently moved and we needed the money. She seemed ok during the interview. Now, I'll quickly give you the circumstances surrounding her kids first week. This was our first month in our new house, first week in the new daycare space, my own children's(4 of them!) first week of summer break, and our youngest had been sick. Sooo....first week came and went...on their last day of the week the mom picked up, seemed fine. Later that night she calls me and had a whole list of complaints. She was concerned because her four year old said he'd watched tv( which wasn't much, and I had told her during the interview that we do watch some tv here and she had no problem with that.) and that we hadn't sang any songs one day or done our ABC's..I told her that I don't follow a formal curriculum and that I am more relaxed during the summer. I have my own learning style and have never had a complaint from a parent. All my kids have learned their ABC's, can count and are doing fine! Then she complained that I served them fish sticks and fries one day for lunch!!! Wht?! I had told her in the interview that I try and buy organic when I can, and that I do a lot of from scratch cooking, but not always. She made it sound like I had completely misrepresented myself, but I did nothing different than what I told her. It's been three days!!!!! It's a whole period of transition for all, and I'm so insulted. I thought the week had gone great, and I did lots of fun stuff with her kids. I was so upset about this all weekend. Am I wrong to feel uneasy about this mom? I run my business how it works for me and I feel like, if she doesn't like it, there's the door. My hubby thinks I should wait it out, but I just have a gut feeling that I'm not going to get along with this mom at all. I feel she will cause me lots of stress and self doubt, all of which is unfounded. I want to term on Thursday( their last day here during the week). Am I overreacting?
Thanks ladies!

I'm not sure that I'd be offended, but it sure does sound annoying. If it happens again you may need to tell her bluntly that the service she has received is the service that you will be continuing to provide, and that she needs to decide whether she wants her kids at your daycare. Let her know that complaining is not going to change how you run your daycare.

[sugar buzz]

Hi everyone! I need your help. I just started a new family last week...dcb 4 and dcg 16 months. The mother is a teacher and had the kids coming 3 days a week in the summer. I was kind of skeptical from the beginning, bc of the reason her provider stopped care. They had been there for 3 years but the provider said she didn't want to do part time in the summers anymore. The mother said dhe offered to pay the full time, but the provider said she already filled the spot. Dcm said her provider never talked with her about this before filing the spots and wouldn't call the new family back.(red flag#1) Then, on the day of my interview with her I was sick and told her I needed to reschedule. She texted me back saying that they have no other time they could come and we could make it quick. I was surprised she was that pushy for never even having met yet. (#2)
I ended up taking them on board...we recently moved and we needed the money. She seemed ok during the interview. Now, I'll quickly give you the circumstances surrounding her kids first week. This was our first month in our new house, first week in the new daycare space, my own children's(4 of them!) first week of summer break, and our youngest had been sick. Sooo....first week came and went...on their last day of the week the mom picked up, seemed fine. Later that night she calls me and had a whole list of complaints. She was concerned because her four year old said he'd watched tv( which wasn't much, and I had told her during the interview that we do watch some tv here and she had no problem with that.) and that we hadn't sang any songs one day or done our ABC's..I told her that I don't follow a formal curriculum and that I am more relaxed during the summer. I have my own learning style and have never had a complaint from a parent. All my kids have learned their ABC's, can count and are doing fine! Then she complained that I served them fish sticks and fries one day for lunch!!! Wht?! I had told her in the interview that I try and buy organic when I can, and that I do a lot of from scratch cooking, but not always. She made it sound like I had completely misrepresented myself, but I did nothing different than what I told her. It's been three days!!!!! It's a whole period of transition for all, and I'm so insulted. I thought the week had gone great, and I did lots of fun stuff with her kids. I was so upset about this all weekend. Am I wrong to feel uneasy about this mom? I run my business how it works for me and I feel like, if she doesn't like it, there's the door. My hubby thinks I should wait it out, but I just have a gut feeling that I'm not going to get along with this mom at all. I feel she will cause me lots of stress and self doubt, all of which is unfounded. I want to term on Thursday( their last day here during the week). Am I overreacting?
Thanks ladies!

I always want to be a fly on the wall, when these DCF's get to elementary and especially middle school. These families want to micromanage every aspect of their kids' daycare experience, but they'll lose so much of that control when their kids are in school all day. My tween told me she gets candy every day for doing her homework, and the last three snow-makeup days of school, they watched old sports movies, like "Air Bud" and "Mighty Ducks."