Getting DCPs to Respect Non-Daycare Areas...

[PolkaTots]

I have a split foyer home, and operate my daycare on the lower level. There is a front and back entrance, a play room, a teaching/eating room and a restroom. I have no problem with DCKs attempting to go upstairs during the day, as they know it's off limits. I do not put a gate there because my own school age children are able to walk though the home freely. My problem is one of the DCPs...every time she comes for pick up, her son runs straight up the stairs, and she never goes after him until she knows he is the back of the house, usually in one of my children's bedrooms It's almost as if she purposely lets him do that just so she can snoop up there. I am usually tending to an infant at this particular pick up time, so can't keep the DCK from going upstairs...it's just frustrating that the parent never tries to stop him. I really didn't want to get a custom made permanent gate (a removable one won't fit our banister), and cause damage to our wall. What would you tell this parent to make her keep her child from going up the stairs?

[Blackcat31]

I have a split foyer home, and operate my daycare on the lower level. There is a front and back entrance, a play room, a teaching/eating room and a restroom. I have no problem with DCKs attempting to go upstairs during the day, as they know it's off limits. I do not put a gate there because my own school age children are able to walk though the home freely. My problem is one of the DCPs...every time she comes for pick up, her son runs straight up the stairs, and she never goes after him until she knows he is the back of the house, usually in one of my children's bedrooms It's almost as if she purposely lets him do that just so she can snoop up there. I am usually tending to an infant at this particular pick up time, so can't keep the DCK from going upstairs...it's just frustrating that the parent never tries to stop him. I really didn't want to get a custom made permanent gate (a removable one won't fit our banister), and cause damage to our wall. What would you tell this parent to make her keep her child from going up the stairs?

Physically hold his hand. Pass his hand to the DCM's.

If he tries to wiggle free...say "DCM, you are now on duty. Please do NOT let him run."

Be stern and don't apologize or feel bad. She is allowing him to be wild in your HOME (not the daycare) and she is disrespecting your home. NOT cool.

[Second Home]

Maybe just use a regular gate and lean it across the stairwell . That way it would make noise or fall if the dck tries to move it .

[Heidi]

Maybe just use a regular gate and lean it across the stairwell . That way it would make noise or fall if the dck tries to move it .

Yeah...or one of those spike strips might work! ::

I'd tell her outright. She needs to prevent him from running up the stairs. Tell her once, and then tell them BOTH TOGETHER every pick up for a week. Upstairs is OFF LIMITS, period!

[e.j.]

I've had dc parents try to get a peak of my upper floor, too, and it makes me crazy. I go over my policies during the initial interview and stress that I can't allow dc children upstairs because it isn't licensed and that any area that isn't licensed is off limits to the kids. I explain that I do that for two reasons: privacy for my family and safety for the kids in my care and then explain what I mean by that. If someone is ballsy enough to try it after that, I don't hesitate to speak up and tell them to please come away from the stairs and back into the licensed area of my home.

[SunshineMama]

I give a tour of my entire house during the interview, and even make a joke about how people are nosey and are curious about other people's houses. I've had very few problems after that. At pick up, I corral them into the office/playroom so they are ready to go. I also made a gate that slides between the stair slats-just plywood covered with fabric.

[NightOwl]

I give a tour of my entire house during the interview, and even make a joke about how people are nosey and are curious about other people's houses. I've had very few problems after that. At pick up, I corral them into the office/playroom so they are ready to go. I also made a gate that slides between the stair slats-just plywood covered with fabric.

That's a great idea! Those gates made for stairs are soooo expensive.

[Crazy8]

I have extra panels of my regular gate that I will sometimes put across the stairs when I have a child that gets to the curious, try to climb up the stairs stage. So nothing permanent, just put it up about a half hour before this child goes home. I have done this in my hallway for a few nosy dcp's too, but always blame it on the kids. ::

Depending on how old the child is I would also make sure to let them know BEFORE pick up that they are NOT to run off when mom comes, lots of reminders help. I have done this with a few of my kids regarding different rules in the daycare to the point where when a child came in and mom said "you'll have to ask Ms. ___ if you are allowed to bring this toy today" the child turned around and said to mom "no, ms. ___ says no toys from home, you have to put it back in the car". Funny how sometimes the parents are more of the problem than the child.

[permanentvacation]

Often times, providers do not correct a child in front of a parent. But I have no problem doing so. If the parent will not correct his behavior, you will have to. If you have him trained to not go upstairs after the mother leaves, then he knows your rules and is just getting away with it because his mother isn't enforcing your rule. I would sternly correct the child as soon as he puts one foot on the step to go upstairs.

You will need to figure something out for the baby at the time this child arrives for a few days so you can focus on this child at his arrival time. If you have to put the baby in playpen and the baby cries while you train him at arrival time, you can use the baby crying as another problem that his inappropriate behavior is causing.

I would put the baby in the playpen - it won't kill the baby if he/she cries for a few minutes- meet the child and his mother at the door. If he tries to go upstairs, very sternly yell, Hey, you know not to go upstairs young man, get yourself downstairs in the play room. If the baby is crying, then announce that he knows the rules, he doesn't try to go upstairs during the day, you are only doing this because your mom is here. Now, since I have to keep you from going upstairs, the baby is crying. Then tear into his mother about how he only does this when she is here and she HAS to stop allowing him to go upstairs. Then require that she start walking the child downstairs to the playroom.

Yes, it's wordy, but it lets the parent know that you've had it, he's disrupting everything because she can't control her own child at simply walking into the daycare. It lets the child know that you know he's playing a game with his mother that you won't tolerate, lets his mother know that her son is running over her, but does NOT run over you. It then demands that the mother will respect your rules of your home and daycare and that she will teach her son to do the same. And most parents don't want to hear you pitch a fit and ramble on to them about the problems their kid or they are causing.

If needed, you can tell the mother to stay and wait until you go get him. Then make him go back outside with his mother and try again to enter the daycare home properly. That will tick off the mother that she is being treated like a little kid and has to try again with him and that she might be late to work. I do this if a child enters my home screaming/crying too loudly/throwing a fit. I believe it is the parents' job to teach a child how to enter a location in the proper manner.

You could also go get the child from upstairs and while his mother is still there put him in time out. Most kids don't like to be put in time out right in front of their parents.

[nannyde]

She is doing it on purpose. She gets to have the kid on your clock for free time. She gets to see him do something REALLY fun that he REALLY wants to do. Tearing thru a house and being "chased" is a blast. You see it on commercials and tv shows and parents think it is hysterical and so fun for the kid.

And.... most of all she gets to go through your house without you even knowing it under the guise that she is getting her kid. She believes that if her kid is in your house that at ANY time she should be able to see ANYTHING in your house as it could in some way affect her child. She doesn't agree with you having ANY private areas, drawers, rooms... anything but she can't find a daycare that will give her carte Blanche to a hundred percent of the home. She then goes for it if she gets a chance to do without loosing her slot what she feels she should be able to do anyway.

She also wants to see how you live. Every time she gets a shot to go unaccompanied she gets to see things out, things undone, things private that were put up in the interview tour. She loves that she can see them and you didn't see her looking and didn't have a chance to fix or put up before she came.

So she won't stop. She and the kid are super diggin it and the pay off is huge for them both. In order to get it to stop you can't be nice. You can't use words like privacy because she obviously does not and will not ever agree that you should have any when she is paying you to keep the kid.

Don't give her reasons why. Just tell her that she can not be past x place when she picks up. Jr is never allowed their either and if she can't physically keep him from doing it then all arrival and departures must be done outside so he is not in her care inside the house.

[sweet_cakes]

I live in a one story - I leave all the bedroom doors closed/locked and have gates blocking off the hallways that I do not want children or parents to enter. Parents/children have access to the playroom, kitchen/dining room, living room (just because it can't be blocked off with my set up) and bathroom.
However, this is easier for me because it is just me and two other children here during the day. One of which is mine.

[spinnymarie]

We have the same entry set up as you - DCF enter at a point where you could go up or down, and they are supposed to go down. At the immediate point where a person could go up, we have a swinging gate. My ODD, 5, can easily open it and get upstairs. My 2 and 3 yr olds cannot open it. AND it makes a REALLY loud noise when you open it I know you said you didn't want a gate, but an easily swinging one shouldn't hurt too much, and any time DCM or DCK even touched it, it would clang, which should help their nosiness.