Do I say something to DCM?

[aDCProvider]

Right after coming inside from a walk, I set my 7 month old son down on the carpet, my 21 month old DCB with agression issues was coming in behind me and sat on the floor right behind my son, I turned around to put my bag down and my son starts screaming, I turn back around and there is DCB with his foot on my son's butt and my son bleeding profusely from the mouth. It seems like DCB kicked/pushed with his foot, my son into the corner of the baseboard and my son had a gash between his gums and upper lip that took 15 minutes to stop the bleeding (I thought we were going to need to get him stitches, that's how bad it bled).

I did not see it happen, but I KNOW what happened. My son did not fall into the wall on his own with enough force to leave a gaping wound in his mouth. I asked DCB if he hurt/kicked/pushed the baby, he said "I did", to make sure I wasn't just getting the same answer I asked other questions...did you hit/sit on/give something to the baby and the answer was "I don't".

This DCB has been off and on aggressive here, like trying to bite me or my assistant, randomly hitting other children (seemingly accidental when excited, like he doesn't realize how close he is to someone), constantly stealing toys or just physically moving other kids with his body (walks up to them and leans on them until they have to move). I've spoken to mom about the aggressiveness and he was previously a biter (at another daycare that DCM removed him from to find a better fit).

Do I say something about what I believe happened? Or just leave it at the fact that he was a little wild and aggressive today?

[Blackcat31]

Right after coming inside from a walk, I set my 7 month old son down on the carpet, my 21 month old DCB with agression issues was coming in behind me and sat on the floor right behind my son, I turned around to put my bag down and my son starts screaming, I turn back around and there is DCB with his foot on my son's butt and my son bleeding profusely from the mouth. It seems like DCB kicked/pushed with his foot, my son into the corner of the baseboard and my son had a gash between his gums and upper lip that took 15 minutes to stop the bleeding (I thought we were going to need to get him stitches, that's how bad it bled).

I did not see it happen, but I KNOW what happened. My son did not fall into the wall on his own with enough force to leave a gaping wound in his mouth. I asked DCB if he hurt/kicked/pushed the baby, he said "I did", to make sure I wasn't just getting the same answer I asked other questions...did you hit/sit on/give something to the baby and the answer was "I don't".

This DCB has been off and on aggressive here, like trying to bite me or my assistant, randomly hitting other children (seemingly accidental when excited, like he doesn't realize how close he is to someone), constantly stealing toys or just physically moving other kids with his body (walks up to them and leans on them until they have to move). I've spoken to mom about the aggressiveness and he was previously a biter (at another daycare that DCM removed him from to find a better fit).

Do I say something about what I believe happened? Or just leave it at the fact that he was a little wild and aggressive today?

I would absolutely say something to the DCM about her child's aggression.

What I wouldn't do though is tell her what happened with your DS or if you do, don't say who just another child MAY have been hurt by her child's actions.

I would not try to focus on ONE incident but instead try and just relay to her your concerns about his actions/behaviors in general.

HTH

[TwinKristi]

I would absolutely say something to the DCM about her child's aggression.

What I wouldn't do though is tell her what happened with your DS or if you do, don't say who just another child MAY have been hurt by her child's actions.

I would not try to focus on ONE incident but instead try and just relay to her your concerns about his actions/behaviors in general.

HTH

Yeah exactly! Next time it may be someone else's baby, but this time they may end up actually needing stitches and then YOU have to deal with the fall out with the parents, licensing, insurance claim, etc. You have to nip this stuff in the bud as soon as it happens and let mom know about the aggression issues with a SMALL BABY and if you have to work on a behavior contract or probationary period. You can't have that liability. If this was a one-time thing it may be different, but this seems like an on going problem.

[aDCProvider]

I would absolutely say something to the DCM about her child's aggression.

What I wouldn't do though is tell her what happened with your DS or if you do, don't say who just another child MAY have been hurt by her child's actions.

I would not try to focus on ONE incident but instead try and just relay to her your concerns about his actions/behaviors in general.

HTH

Before this even happened with my son, DCM was already going to get a report of DCB being aggressive and wild today, he accidently hit another child twice while being very physically active and kept taking toys away from the other kids. I know this is normal for his age, but how often is normal? it seems every time I turn around he's stealing toys or bumping into someone or accidently hitting someone, he's VERY physical with the other kids.

Typically, I remove him from the situation if being physically aggressive, and explain the need to be careful and gentle with our friends, when stealing toys, I tell him to give it back and wait his turn, this usually works without too much prompting, when he won't give it back, I step in and take the toy away and give it back to the child who was playing with it.

I've never worked with such an aggressive child. How do you normally handle a DCK like this?

[aDCProvider]

I'll say something along the lines of...we need to work with DCB on being aware of his body when he's excited and to teach him to be more gentle, we've had several situations where DCB gets too excited and bumps into friends and or accidentally hits friends with toys because he's not looking where he is going. Specifically today, DCB was too rough and accidently hit one child and knocked one if the babies into the wall. Please talk with DCB at home about being gentle and we will keep up with what we've been doing here....how does that sound?

This child is just a bull in a china shop, problem is someone is going to get hurt (like my son did today).

[Blackcat31]

I've never worked with such an aggressive child. How do you normally handle a DCK like this?

Ugh! This is going to sound really bad but honestly, if I had a kid that was that aggressive in care I would terminate.

For several reasons.

One, a majority of parents now days will RARELY back you up and do anything to curb the behavior. They will wait for YOU to do something about it since it is only a problem to you. (NOT true but that is how a lot of parents view it)

Second, I don't have the time and/or energy this late in my career to put in the hard work of "fixing" this.

So...if you REALLY REALLY want to work on this with this child, the parent MUST be on board, MUST do a majority of the work since child are far more impacted by the input and influence of their parent than they by us.

And, it WILL be alot of work and you may have other incidences too while the offender is learning to curb this negative behavior but it CAN be fixed.

[NightOwl]

What she ^^^^ said. I am NOT quick to term because I loath interviewing/integrating new children, but this child would be outta here. No ifs, ands, or buts.

[TickleMonster]

Yes absolutely tell her. She needs to know what her child has done whether it was intentional or not. Something like that might even make me term the child for it. If it had happened to another dck and you had to tell those parents, you might lose that child because those parents don't want their kid being hurt. Either way it is not ok that your own child got hurt. I know the feeling. Every time something like that happens here, my dd always seems to get the brunt end of things.

[DaisyMamma]

Ugh! This is going to sound really bad but honestly, if I had a kid that was that aggressive in care I would terminate.

For several reasons.

One, a majority of parents now days will RARELY back you up and do anything to curb the behavior. They will wait for YOU to do something about it since it is only a problem to you. (NOT true but that is how a lot of parents view it)

Second, I don't have the time and/or energy this late in my career to put in the hard work of "fixing" this.

So...if you REALLY REALLY want to work on this with this child, the parent MUST be on board, MUST do a majority of the work since child are far more impacted by the input and influence of their parent than they by us.

And, it WILL be alot of work and you may have other incidences too while the offender is learning to curb this negative behavior but it CAN be fixed.

I agree.
Its a lot of work.