Ending Lunch For Throwing Food

[deliberateliterate]

I have two dogs, and a 21m dog who thinks it's funny to throw food to them. When I see her do it, I give her one warning, and the next time, lunch is over. It usually happens after she has had the majority of her lunch, so getting down doesn't really bother her. Who knows...maybe she's doing it as a tool to get out of her chair. But there has been a couple times (like today), that she threw food at the beginning of lunch. She cried for about a minute, and now is happily wandering. I know she's going to be hungry soon, as she hardly ate anything. What would you have done?

I will add that her table skills are tiring. She smashes food between he fingers, drinks her milk, then opens her mouth to let it spill all down her bib, tries to eat her yogurt with her Hans, dumps all her food from her plate onto her tray, etc.

[NoMoreJuice!]

I have two dogs as well. They would be THRILLED with that situation!! However, I shut them in my bedroom when I prepare/serve meals (per state/food program regulation). Any chance you could do that?

It does sound like she's manipulating you, sorry. I would force her to sit there instead of getting what she wants (down).

[debbiedoeszip]

I have two dogs, and a 21m dog who thinks it's funny to throw food to them. When I see her do it, I give her one warning, and the next time, lunch is over. It usually happens after she has had the majority of her lunch, so getting down doesn't really bother her. Who knows...maybe she's doing it as a tool to get out of her chair. But there has been a couple times (like today), that she threw food at the beginning of lunch. She cried for about a minute, and now is happily wandering. I know she's going to be hungry soon, as she hardly ate anything. What would you have done?

I will add that her table skills are tiring. She smashes food between he fingers, drinks her milk, then opens her mouth to let it spill all down her bib, tries to eat her yogurt with her Hans, dumps all her food from her plate onto her tray, etc.

Any behaviour that suggests that she is no longer hungry would indicate that I should end the meal. So, if she's throwing food, or letting her milk spill out of her mouth (on purpose), or playing with her food instead of eating it, then remove her from the table and don't give her anything but water until snack time. At snack time, repeat the same rules/consequences. She'll soon figure out that she needs to eat or go hungry.

Sounds harsh, but it worked wonderfully with my DS. As soon as he started throwing food over the side of the high chair, then breakfast/lunch/supper/snack was OVER. He never did the milk dribbling or food mashing, but he did seem to enjoy throwing food once he was full.

Oh, and if she's doing it as a tool to get out of her chair then she's probably not hungry, so don't worry about declaring the meal or snack to be finished. If she was truly hungry then she would be eating, right?

[Blackcat31]

I have two dogs, and a 21m dog who thinks it's funny to throw food to them. When I see her do it, I give her one warning, and the next time, lunch is over. It usually happens after she has had the majority of her lunch, so getting down doesn't really bother her. Who knows...maybe she's doing it as a tool to get out of her chair. But there has been a couple times (like today), that she threw food at the beginning of lunch. She cried for about a minute, and now is happily wandering. I know she's going to be hungry soon, as she hardly ate anything. What would you have done?

I will add that her table skills are tiring. She smashes food between he fingers, drinks her milk, then opens her mouth to let it spill all down her bib, tries to eat her yogurt with her Hans, dumps all her food from her plate onto her tray, etc.

I am assuming you mean daycare girl and not dog here.


I don't know, I think you are better off putting the dogs out of the kitchen during meals. Then doing LOTS of reminders and positive role modeling about proper meal time manners.

I would even have her start being partially responsible for cleaning up the mess she made but I would be a tad uncomfortable not allowing a child her age finish eating. I almost think that might be too young to make the connection and leaving her to be hungry isn't going to help behaviors the rest of the afternoon...kwim?

Does she have a dog at home where this is also done?

[Heidi]

I am assuming you mean daycare girl and not dog here.


I don't know, I think you are better off putting the dogs out of the kitchen during meals. Then doing LOTS of reminders and positive role modeling about proper meal time manners.

I would even have her start being partially responsible for cleaning up the mess she made but I would be a tad uncomfortable not allowing a child her age finish eating. I almost think that might be too young to make the connection and leaving her to be hungry isn't going to help behaviors the rest of the afternoon...kwim?

Does she have a dog at home where this is also done?

Yeah...my new dcm told me they make a ceremony of giving dcg's (9m) leftovers to the dog. yeah!

I would remind her that "we use good manners" when you give her the plate. Maybe even talk about what that means, when it's not meal time. A group activity. Then, if she throws or mashes, take her food away, but not excuse her from the table. "Oh, you are throwing food (calm voice). That shows me you are done eating". Then, do not let her get down yet. "You're friends are still eating, so lets stay and visit". I usually read to the group at the end of lunch; the only time they aren't wandering away when I read. Or, we sing a song, finger play, etc. It's sort of our "circle time".

MAYBE, if she only ate a teeny bit, you could wait a few minutes, then re-offer her plate. "hey, are you sure you're not hungry? Would you like to try again, using good manners?"

Here's a link to some posters...maybe you could make one. I also see there are "good table manners" books.

https://www.google.com/search?q=good+table+manners+for+preschoolers&sa=X&rlz=1C1KAFA_enUS546US546&espv=2&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&ei=GXKgU4D3IY2Hqgb964L4CA&ved=0CBwQsAQ&biw=1242&bih=607#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=u993kIJavn3xaM%253A%3B901LEwGhsp8OYM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.michellehenry.fr%252Fmannersmat.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.michellehenry.fr%252Fpolite.htm%3B448%3B327

[DaisyMamma]

I have two dogs, and a 21m dog who thinks it's funny to throw food to them. When I see her do it, I give her one warning, and the next time, lunch is over. It usually happens after she has had the majority of her lunch, so getting down doesn't really bother her. Who knows...maybe she's doing it as a tool to get out of her chair. But there has been a couple times (like today), that she threw food at the beginning of lunch. She cried for about a minute, and now is happily wandering. I know she's going to be hungry soon, as she hardly ate anything. What would you have done?

I will add that her table skills are tiring. She smashes food between he fingers, drinks her milk, then opens her mouth to let it spill all down her bib, tries to eat her yogurt with her Hans, dumps all her food from her plate onto her tray, etc.

I have a dcb who will feed his whole lunch to my dog and then hand me the plate for "more"
Um. No!

Get the dogs out of the room.
Give her food that isn't messy and only a little at a time. Eating yogurt with their hands really irritates me.

[SignMeUp]

We aren't allowed to have dogs in the kitchen while children are eating.
But then we aren't allowed to do much

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

We also can not have the dogs in the kitchen when meals are being served so they are gated out. But, my boys still love throwing food for them... that is when lunch is over.

[Childminder]

What about taking the food away from her but don't let her down until everyone else is finished. I have had children throw food to the floor before because of dogs or just because and usually just have to firmly say NO! a couple times and they stop. She's almost 2 she should figure it out pretty fast.

[itlw8]

simple solution keep the dogs out when the children are eating. Either outdoors, in the crate or train to stay out of the room you eat in.

[mamamanda]

I agree with Heidi. Take the food away temporarily, but make her stay at the table during meal time. I posted a thread recently and got some advice about what other providers allow at meal time and I found that once I made all the dck stay at the table for an allotted amount of time that they ate and behaved better. When they know they are not going to be allowed to do anything else, they may as well eat, right? And you can do fun things if some of them finish early. At least she is still really young. I have a 4 y.o. dcg who still eats with her fingers. I have to remind her every.single.day to use her spoon. Cereal and milk, yogurt, mashed potatoes, it doesn't matter. Her fingers are always in it. I get so frustrated. Most of the kids asked to be excused & then I wipe their hands off. With her, I have to wipe her hands, face, clothes, chair, wall, etc. I have started making her help me clean up if she touches the chair or wall & at least that has gotten better. Mom doesn't care about this behavior at home so it is double the work for me. I feel your frustration.

[Heidi]

I agree with Heidi. Take the food away temporarily, but make her stay at the table during meal time. I posted a thread recently and got some advice about what other providers allow at meal time and I found that once I made all the dck stay at the table for an allotted amount of time that they ate and behaved better. When they know they are not going to be allowed to do anything else, they may as well eat, right? And you can do fun things if some of them finish early. At least she is still really young. I have a 4 y.o. dcg who still eats with her fingers. I have to remind her every.single.day to use her spoon. Cereal and milk, yogurt, mashed potatoes, it doesn't matter. Her fingers are always in it. I get so frustrated. Most of the kids asked to be excused & then I wipe their hands off. With her, I have to wipe her hands, face, clothes, chair, wall, etc. I have started making her help me clean up if she touches the chair or wall & at least that has gotten better. Mom doesn't care about this behavior at home so it is double the work for me. I feel your frustration.

Wow!

Ok...I know I'm from another generation, but my dad used to brag about how when we were 3 and 4 (sis and I), we could eat in a restaurant with a fork AND knife "continental style". We sat their like little ladies at that age.

Of course at home, there was lots of practice, and if you got too far out of line, there'd be a quick smack to the back of your neck. Still, I remember meals being a very pleasant experience, for the most part, and we LOVED going out for dinner. Our parents took us to "nice" places, too. Steak houses, Chinese (the old fashioned kind, not like today). It amazes me that there are 4 and 5 year olds that can't or won't use a utensil.

[deliberateliterate]

Thanks all! I don't know how to quote multiple posts, but thanks for everyone's suggestions.

I'm going to start taking away her food, but leaving her at the table, then returning it to her after a while if it's barely been touched. And yes, I meant 21m dcg...not dog, !! We do talk about table manners, but doing a refresher course for everyone wouldn't hurt!

I've been struggling with this girl for a while. Her mom definitely still treats her as a baby...I brought her to the door the other day during pickup with her straw cup in her hand, and her mom had no idea she knew how to use a straw...she still gets only bottles at home. At the table, and other aspects through the day have been a challenge for me with this one. Both her and her mom are awesome though, a really sweet family. Just tiring.

[NightOwl]

Thanks all! I don't know how to quote multiple posts, but thanks for everyone's suggestions.

I'm going to start taking away her food, but leaving her at the table, then returning it to her after a while if it's barely been touched. And yes, I meant 21m dcg...not dog, !! We do talk about table manners, but doing a refresher course for everyone wouldn't hurt!

I've been struggling with this girl for a while. Her mom definitely still treats her as a baby...I brought her to the door the other day during pickup with her straw cup in her hand, and her mom had no idea she knew how to use a straw...she still gets only bottles at home. At the table, and other aspects through the day have been a challenge for me with this one. Both her and her mom are awesome though, a really sweet family. Just tiring.

Excuse me?? Bottles???? Holy hell...

[Heidi]

Excuse me?? Bottles???? Holy hell...

Hey, I was at a school concert one day, and there was a family next to me with a child that was clearly 4 or 5. She was considerably overweight (having-a-hard-time-walking overweight) . During the course of the concert, drank 2 8oz BOTTLES of milk!

I guessed her age because she was so tall (not just heavy), and when she'd occasionally take that bottle out of her mouth, she talked in full sentences.