The Incessant Tattle Tale

[Annalee]

Go tell the person in the mirror.

I use the mirror for kids that make ugly faces at me or are pouting..they get tired of that real quick!

[SignMeUp]

I lovethis the "tattle box" and I lovethis "In or Out?" ::

I have always helped them learn to distinguish between whether they are telling to get someone in trouble, or telling to get help for someone.
It's pretty much "In or Out?" :: I do expect them to start out by telling me that they are asking for help (when they are asking for help) because
1. I can tell quicker whether or not they are just tattling
2. I think it will work better when they are in school

I expect a 'chain of command' basically. First, use your words to the other child. Second, try that again and be sure to use their name when you speak to them. And say precisely what it is that you want them to stop doing. Third, come and ask your grown-up for help.

I think it's a normal stage for children to go through. I also think that whatever is driving us crazy (as providers or as parents) is an emerging skill - something that they are working on intensely. So, it turns my mind around when something is making me nuts -- I stop and realize that I can be sure that I'm being totally consistent so that they'll figure it out more quickly, and sometimes I'll actually set up situations for the behavior to occur so that they can figure it out 'Cuz I'm an evil genius like that ::

Oh, and for the parents who complain that I am not properly negotiating all of little Susie or Paul's issues: I tell them that I am not a referee, and I am expecting their children to learn to negotiate these things themselves. It's an appropriate developmental skill

[mskaykay]

I once had a teacher give a beaded necklace to each of her kids. When a child tattled they lost their necklace. They were only allowed to tattle if someone was hurt. Before they child spoke the teacher would ask him is someone hurt? If the child said no the teacher would remind them that they would lose their necklace if they tattled but it was their choice. Anyone who still had their necklace at the end of the week received a prize.

[MarinaVanessa]

I once had a teacher give a beaded necklace to each of her kids. When a child tattled they lost their necklace. They were only allowed to tattle if someone was hurt. Before they child spoke the teacher would ask him is someone hurt? If the child said no the teacher would remind them that they would lose their necklace if they tattled but it was their choice. Anyone who still had their necklace at the end of the week received a prize.

I LOVE this idea! I'm stealing this but using it for "classroom management" and applying it towards daycare rules.

[Chellieleanne]

Must.create.tattle.box.NOW!!!

I am going to do this for my own 3yo DS! He is forever telling on his brother or dcb and I have just been telling him to deal with it as long as no one is getting hurt. He drives me bonkers with it!

[preschoolteacher]

I have tattling turtle. He's a stuffed animal that lives in our library area. The kids can tell him their woes. They also have the option to draw me a picture.

Once I see them coming and they start the "Miiiiissus Neeeesssssaaaaaa! ..." I immediately say "In or Out?".

The veteran kids all know what I mean, the new kids always get this look :confused:. Then I start .. "Is someone hurting themselves? Is someone hurting someone else? Is someone hurting things?" If they answer no to all of these ... "Then you're trying to get someone In trouble." and I suggest they tell the turtle or for them to draw me a picture and we will discuss it later. If they answer yes to the questions then they're trying to keep someone else Out of trouble, as in they're keeping someone safe. That's "In or Out".

In or out! Brilliant!

[DaisyMamma]

I dont do any thing special other than say GO PLAY

If I already know what it's about I will say go play. Of course as long as no one is hurt.

If I don't know what is going on, I will ask are you hurt? Is someone hurt, if the answer is NO, I respond Go fix or GO play.

My respnce to my tattler is "go play"
That's the best I have. It doesn't even help really.
You've got a much larger problem on your hands though, since even the other kids don't want to play with him

[SilverSabre25]

I like asking if they are getting someone out of trouble or into trouble....I may adopt that. I also like the idea of offerring for them to write it down/draw a picture of the situation.

[debbiedoeszip]

I would not ignore him. I would instead respond to his tattling by asking him "How did that make you feel?" Some kids tattle for attention. I'd pay attention to his feelings, but show him that you aren't going to punish someone just because he thinks they did something wrong.

Some kids tattle because they don't understand something about what they are seeing (such as why some "rules" are only guidelines, or how some rules only apply to some situations but not others). Let him come to you and help him figure out what's going on.

I would tell the other children that any one of them can come to you about anything (so, IOW, he can tattle if he wants). I would correct anyone being unkind to him. Being annoyed by someone is not justification for being unkind to them. And why are they so adverse to you knowing what they are doing? That would make me suspicious.

Other than that, I'd not do anything. Sometimes it takes the other kids not wanting to play with a child before the child learns what is and what isn't socially acceptable. IOW, let him learn from his peers (so long as they are declining to play with him in a kind way).

[Go play!]

My kids tell the fish in the fish tank. I have 2 girls that sometimes will argue over who gets to tell the fish. It cracks me up! But they stop telling me.

[Annalee]

My kids tell the fish in the fish tank. I have 2 girls that sometimes will argue over who gets to tell the fish. It cracks me up! But they stop telling me.

:: That is funny! I may try that, too. ::