How Do You Explain...

[Leanna]

to the younger kids why the older SA kids get privileges that they don't get?
My 3's & 4's are CONSTANTLY asking why the "big kids" get to stay up, not hold hands, go in the playroom at different times, use different equipment, etc. etc. I keep explaining that it is because they are "big" and that when they are big they will get to do those things too. But it is still a constant discussion. What do you tell your littles?

[Blackcat31]

I just forever repeat that they are bigger/older.

Then I point out what things they get to do that the babies don't get to.

I don't think you can do anything more.

What others get that they don't will always be an issue, no matter what age they are. It will always feel unfair to them.

Just try to redirect to the positives of THEIR age group.

[Annalee]

I just forever repeat that they are bigger/older.

Then I point out what things they get to do that the babies don't get to.

I don't think you can do anything more.

What others get that they don't will always be an issue, no matter what age they are. It will always feel unfair to them.

Just try to redirect to the positives of THEIR age group.

And by doing this providers are teaching life lessons....the same issues can come up in school, jobs, etc.

[Heidi]

I do what BC does, but I will also add something like "when you're in school, you can do that, too", or "when you're 8, you'll be able to do that". Some sort of benchmark to tell them WHEN they can.

I've even pulled the "that's for big kids who go potty on the toilet". A kind, but strong hint that big kids use the toilet. Admittedly, I don't know how much influence a small statement like that makes, but it's worth a try.

[permanentvacation]

I do the same thing that Blackcat does. You just have to keep showing them that people of different ages get different privileges and have different needs. I would tell them that the babies drink out of a bottle and go potty in their diapers and ask them if they want a bottle and to wear a diaper. The of course say no. So I tell them that's because they have gotten older and do not need those things anymore. But since they are not as old as the older kids, they DO still need a nap. Then I tell them that once they are old enough to go to the big kids' school, THEN they won't need a nap anymore. I let them know that AFTER they go to the big kids' school and are in 1st grade, 2nd grade, etc. THEN they can stay up from nap just like these big kids.

If it's about the older kids being aloud to use different type toys/outdoor equipment or arts/crafts supplies, or anything. I would explain the reasons that the big kids can do something that the little kids can not. The safety reasons, the lack of ability in the younger ones to do that activity, etc. But I would make sure to let them know that they WILL be able to do those things as they get older. So that is something that they can look forward to and can start saying, "When I go to big kids' school, I can play on the big kids' climbing structure."

You just have to keep explaining the different needs of the different ages. After a week or so, the little kids should accept the fact that the older kids get different things than they do.

[BumbleBee]

I explain it the same way as everybody else.

When I've had enough of answering the question, I turn it around on them.

Dcb: Why does SA get to *insert privilege here*?

Me: Hmmm....why do you think SA gets to do that?

Dcb: Cause she's a school ager. When I'm a school ager I get to do that too!

Me: Yup! Go play.

[daycarediva]

Yup, reminders of WHEN they CAN. Not why they can't, per se.

When are you going to be 5 so you can _____?

Works well here, my group usually only questions certain things a few times though.

[nothingwithoutjoy]

My daughter will be home-schooled and will therefore be here all day when she's a school-ager, and I still intend for her to nap. So for years, I've been very very careful never to say "because they are bigger/older/5/in kindergarten..." I even have it in my handbook that I don't want the parents to say that. I always say "because they go to a school now where they don't have nap, so they are out of the habit." Ask me in September (when she hits kindergarten age) and I'll tell you if it worked. :-)

[Josiegirl]

So far the 3ish crowd has been good about it; it's the 6-7 yos that don't get to do what the 9-10 yos do that whine the best.

Them: But it isn't faaaiiirrr!!!
Me: Life isn't fair.

Them: But I want to _______(fill in the blank!)
Me: I want a lot of things too.

[midaycare]

My reply to whining is usually, "Yup. It's a bummer you aren't old enough to join them. What can you do instead?"