Mom Rewards Bad Behavior! Frustrating!!

[Blackcat31]

Oh, and I check out those jail sites and criminal history look up places ALL the time.

It's always amazing what you learn on them. ::

[SquirrellyMama]

The mom doesn't know I really can't afford to term. Maybe it will give her incentive to get it together. I will pm my email. I would love a copy of what behavior plan you use.

This could backfire on you if you really aren't prepared to term. I wouldn't make any empty threats.

I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. I have no suggestions for you except I would have mom not make deals with the kids about daycare behavior and rewards at home. I don't think a 2 year old can grasp that concept well, and 8 to 10 hours is a long day for a kid.

Kelly

[small_steps]

You are right, they could be exhibiting fall out from what is going on at home.

Have you tried to talk with them at all? Maybe just a little reassurance about your place being a calm and accepting place for them and maybe talk a bit about how their tantrums are working for them (or rather not working)?

The older child seems old enough that he would be able to have a perspective conversation with you about how his behavior makes you and the other kids (as well as himself) feel...

Sometimes that discussion means a lot to a child and can sway their behaviors if they know you care and are trying to do what is best for them.

I am betting mom is probably "making up" for dad not being present ...unless she is just one of those mom's who is just clueless about how positive reinforcement works.

fwiw~ I didn't mean to imply single moms are lenient moms as I have several single moms in care who run their house with a firm hand... I was asking because alot of times that is the first excuse a parent will give for their child's bad behavior rather than accepting responsibility for their role in it.

I know you didn't mean that about single moms :-)
I just have no tolerance for parents using that excuse and I've seen it many times unfortunately.
Today I have them playing separately today and told them when they can behave and play nicely alone then they can play with friends. So far so good. He screamed this morning because he tried to bite a friend for standing in his way and went to time out. I made him lay on his mat until he stopped the fit. Then he got to go eat breakfast alone because the other children were already done. We will see how the rest of the day goes.
Also, just scheduled another interview for tomorrow evening so that's two this week! Hoping they go well!

[small_steps]

You are right, they could be exhibiting fall out from what is going on at home.

Have you tried to talk with them at all? Maybe just a little reassurance about your place being a calm and accepting place for them and maybe talk a bit about how their tantrums are working for them (or rather not working)?

The older child seems old enough that he would be able to have a perspective conversation with you about how his behavior makes you and the other kids (as well as himself) feel...

Sometimes that discussion means a lot to a child and can sway their behaviors if they know you care and are trying to do what is best for them.

I am betting mom is probably "making up" for dad not being present ...unless she is just one of those mom's who is just clueless about how positive reinforcement works.

fwiw~ I didn't mean to imply single moms are lenient moms as I have several single moms in care who run their house with a firm hand... I was asking because alot of times that is the first excuse a parent will give for their child's bad behavior rather than accepting responsibility for their role in it.

I know you didn't mean that about single moms :-)
I just have no tolerance for single parents using that excuse and I've seen it many times unfortunately.
Today I have them playing separately today and told them when they can behave and play nicely alone then they can play with friends. So far so good. He screamed this morning because he tried to bite a friend for standing in his way and went to time out. I made him lay on his mat until he stopped the fit. Then he got to go eat breakfast alone because the other children were already done. We will see how the rest of the day goes.
Also, just scheduled another interview for tomorrow evening so that's two this week! Hoping they go well!

[small_steps]

No real changes today or yesterday unfortunately. When he acted up I took him straight to TO or to his mat and it didn't really seem to phase him. Today a parent picked up during nap and he started screaming that he wanted his mommy while this other parent was still here of course. So embarrassing not to mention he woke up 2 other kids. His brother also did the same thing today. I got onto him at lunch for messing with his friends water bottle and he yelled no to me. He's almost 6! I made him go to nap early where he also proceeded to scream and cry for his mom. This is just getting ridiculous. I am probably going to have to term.
I had an interview last night. That child starts Monday. I have another interview today and if that goes well I will probably give notice next week. This made my entire week horrible and made me not appreciate my job very much. And I don't want to get anymore burnt out than I already am.
:-(

[Blackcat31]

No real changes today or yesterday unfortunately. When he acted up I took him straight to TO or to his mat and it didn't really seem to phase him. Today a parent picked up during nap and he started screaming that he wanted his mommy while this other parent was still here of course. So embarrassing not to mention he woke up 2 other kids. His brother also did the same thing today. I got onto him at lunch for messing with his friends water bottle and he yelled no to me. He's almost 6! I made him go to nap early where he also proceeded to scream and cry for his mom. This is just getting ridiculous. I am probably going to have to term.
I had an interview last night. That child starts Monday. I have another interview today and if that goes well I will probably give notice next week. This made my entire week horrible and made me not appreciate my job very much. And I don't want to get anymore burnt out than I already am.
:-(

Congrats on the new kid!

If you get this next interview....don't wait to term.

Do it immediately. NO WAY would I put up with that for another 2 weeks if I didn't have to.

[KiddieCahoots]

Fingers crossed for a fantastic interview today! happyface....