I Am Livid....At Myself!

[melilley]

This morning I'm laying in bed, pressing snooze, and I get a text at 6:34. I didn't look at it, but my phone alerts me every 10 min. So I look at it and it's a dcm asking if she can drop dcb off a little before 7! I did ignore the text, but them 5 min later, dcm calls and I dumbly answer. and asks if she can drop him off in a few minutes (he isn't contracted until 8). And I said I just woke up, but it was ok.

I'm soooo mad at myself. I don't get up until around 6:45 because no one is contracted until 7:30 and I like my sleep. Ughhh why did I answer AND say yes?
All I can think about is everyone on here and their stories of how they DIDN'T answer the phone. I can't believe I answered.

Then dcm gets here and says she forgot I'm not open until 7, that someone at the dc she works at is sick so she had to go in early.....well you're not contracted until 8.

I'm definitely going to say something at p/u. I usually let things slide (yes, bad on my part, but I'm working on it), but I have to talk to this dcm and tell her it's not ok to call/text 15 minutes before you want to drop off early. I would never do that to someone, I would feel bad.

I'm so mad at myself that I want to cry. Why can't I be like you guys and have a strong backbone? I need to stop being so nice, but it's really hard for me and now I'm upset with myself. I need to separate niceness from business, that's my downfall and It's hard to do. I've always been this way and just when I do use my backbone, I go and do something like this.

Thanks for letting me vent!

[taylorw1210]

I used to get myself worked up about this types of situations, too. I had to start removing emotion from the equation and just start looking at all of my decisions regarding my daycare as business - with no strings attached. If I do not want to work before a certain time, I don't. And I make no excuse for it and I don't let myself feel bad about it.

I wouldn't be having a talk with dcm as you allowed it by answering and telling her yes. I would just leave it be and if/when it happens again, know how to handle it differently.

[lovemykidstoo]

That is a bummer and no one wants to get up early that's for sure. On a good note, sometimes it's nice to bend a little for a good client. If someone called in sick for work it's most likely very hard for her to give you more notice. Unless of course if the person called in sick the night before. Hope this child is good for you though!! happyface

[melilley]

I used to get myself worked up about this types of situations, too. I had to start removing emotion from the equation and just start looking at all of my decisions regarding my daycare as business - with no strings attached. If I do not want to work before a certain time, I don't. And I make no excuse for it and I don't let myself feel bad about it.

I wouldn't be having a talk with dcm as you allowed it by answering and telling her yes. I would just leave it be and if/when it happens again, know how to handle it differently.

I need to start thinking this way and am going to work hard on actually following through with what I want. And you're right, I did say yes and if it does happen again, I won't answer! Good advice, thanks!

[NightOwl]

I wouldn't talk to her about it. It's kind of on you for saying yes. I agree that it can be so difficult to separate business from friendships and the desire to people please, but it does get easier. Next time, don't answer. If she makes a habit of asking for earlier drop offs, THEN address it with her.

[llpa]

I wouldn't talk to her about it. It's kind of on you for saying yes. I agree that it can be so difficult to separate business from friendships and the desire to people please, but it does get easier. Next time, don't answer. If she makes a habit of asking for earlier drop offs, THEN address it with her.

[melilley]

That is a bummer and no one wants to get up early that's for sure. On a good note, sometimes it's nice to bend a little for a good client. If someone called in sick for work it's most likely very hard for her to give you more notice. Unless of course if the person called in sick the night before. Hope this child is good for you though!! happyface

Thank you, dcb is a happy 10 mo. old baby and I love him so it's not so bad. I do bend for clients, a little too much lately and I think that's why I'm so mad at myself. Plus, I'm the type of person who needs to take a shower before presenting myself to others...

Dcm knew that her co-worker was sick, we are mutual friends with her (she actually told dcm about me) and she had it on fb that she was in the hospital, Dcm said that her boss didn't want to wake her husband up early to come in so dcm had to go in. It probably was a short notice thing.

[lovemykidstoo]

Thank you, dcb is a happy 10 mo. old baby and I love him so it's not so bad. I do bend for clients, a little too much lately and I think that's why I'm so mad at myself. Plus, I'm the type of person who needs to take a shower before presenting myself to others...

Dcm knew that her co-worker was sick, we are mutual friends with her (she actually told dcm about me) and she had it on fb that she was in the hospital, Dcm said that her boss didn't want to wake her husband up early to come in so dcm had to go in. It probably was a short notice thing, but I have my doubts.

Oh w

Absolutely if she knew in advance I would be highly irritated!!

[taylorw1210]

I wouldn't talk to her about it. It's kind of on you for saying yes. I agree that it can be so difficult to separate business from friendships and the desire to people please, but it does get easier. Next time, don't answer. If she makes a habit of asking for earlier drop offs, THEN address it with her.

I am a HUGE people pleaser by nature, so I had to learn how to separate that from my business, too.

[Blackcat31]

This morning I'm laying in bed, pressing snooze, and I get a text at 6:34. I didn't look at it, but my phone alerts me every 10 min. So I look at it and it's a dcm asking if she can drop dcb off a little before 7! I did ignore the text, but them 5 min later, dcm calls and I dumbly answer. and asks if she can drop him off in a few minutes (he isn't contracted until 8). And I said I just woke up, but it was ok.

I'm soooo mad at myself. I don't get up until around 6:45 because no one is contracted until 7:30 and I like my sleep. Ughhh why did I answer AND say yes?
All I can think about is everyone on here and their stories of how they DIDN'T answer the phone. I can't believe I answered.

Then dcm gets here and says she forgot I'm not open until 7, that someone at the dc she works at is sick so she had to go in early.....well you're not contracted until 8.

I'm definitely going to say something at p/u. I usually let things slide (yes, bad on my part, but I'm working on it), but I have to talk to this dcm and tell her it's not ok to call/text 15 minutes before you want to drop off early. I would never do that to someone, I would feel bad.

I'm so mad at myself that I want to cry. Why can't I be like you guys and have a strong backbone? I need to stop being so nice, but it's really hard for me and now I'm upset with myself. I need to separate niceness from business, that's my downfall and It's hard to do. I've always been this way and just when I do use my backbone, I go and do something like this.

Thanks for letting me vent!

I don't think you were wrong for answering the phone. Next time though after "I'm just getting out of bed..." follow that with "so I'm sorry but there is no way I will be ready to take him for atleast another 45 minutes."

I see why she called...if she knew her co-worker was sick but didn't know her boss decided she (DCM) had to cover until this morning, I can see how it was short notice for her too...

Does DCM have a DH that cold have dropped off later?

I WOULD talk to DCM but only about how sometimes early drop off can be managed and sometimes not. I would also let her know that if you do have to say no, it is non-negotiable.

Also for this morning, she needs to pay an early drop off fee.

I try to be flexible when I can but I don't feel bad when it's not possible.

Being flexible and compromising now and then when it isn't a huge deal is a fantastic way to build a good working relationship with parents.

If I am flexible when it's not a big deal, then I NEVER feel bad when I need to close early or take a day off. kwim?

Don't beat yourself up...if you look at it from a different angle, you just did DCM favor...now when you need to close early or take a day off, she owes you.

[NoMoreJuice!]

Look at it this way: at least she called and gave you a heads up. I had a dcm of my 9 year old school ager drop off the child at 7:05 this morning on my front porch and made her ring the doorbell and knock repeatedly! I was just getting up and the banging and ringing was insane! As soon as I opened the door, dcm pulled out of the driveway and sped off.

Chicken.

[lovemykidstoo]

I don't think you were wrong for answering the phone. Next time though after "I'm just getting out of bed..." follow that with "so I'm sorry but there is no way I will be ready to take him for atleast another 45 minutes."

I see why she called...if she knew her co-worker was sick but didn't know her boss decided she (DCM) had to cover until this morning, I can see how it was short notice for her too...

Does DCM have a DH that cold have dropped off later?

I WOULD talk to DCM but only about how sometimes early drop off can be managed and sometimes not. I would also let her know that if you do have to say no, it is non-negotiable.

Also for this morning, she needs to pay an early drop off fee.

I try to be flexible when I can but I don't feel bad when it's not possible.

Being flexible and compromising now and then when it isn't a huge deal is a fantastic way to build a good working relationship with parents.

If I am flexible when it's not a big deal, then I NEVER feel bad when I need to close early or take a day off. kwim?

Don't beat yourself up...if you look at it from a different angle, you just did DCM favor...now when you need to close early or take a day off, she owes you.

These were my thoughts too BC. Great post. I know sometimes things are a pain, but I know that daycare parents appreciate it if we're a bit flexible sometimes as long as they don't take advantage. It really doesn't seem like this mom is taking advantage and more that she got taken off guard by her boss too. She needs to tell her boss to give her more notice. Not like the boss didn't know this woman wasn't coming in if she was in the hospital geez. The boss should pay the early drop off fee

[melilley]

Look at it this way: at least she called and gave you a heads up. I had a dcm of my 9 year old school ager drop off the child at 7:05 this morning on my front porch and made her ring the doorbell and knock repeatedly! I was just getting up and the banging and ringing was insane! As soon as I opened the door, dcm pulled out of the driveway and sped off.

Chicken.

I have no room to talk... That is insane!

[cheerfuldom]

I dont do early drop offs.

Turn off the phone and do not answer the door till open hours, problem solved. If you use your phone for an alarm clock, get an alarm clock so you can turn off your phone.

To me, parents need a back up plan for early dropoffs. If they tell me in advance, I might do 15 minutes earlier or something but I am not getting up 90 minutes early, last minute, because they had an emergency. contracted time is contracted time. I wouldnt stay open later either so it works both ways.

[cheerfuldom]

Look at it this way: at least she called and gave you a heads up. I had a dcm of my 9 year old school ager drop off the child at 7:05 this morning on my front porch and made her ring the doorbell and knock repeatedly! I was just getting up and the banging and ringing was insane! As soon as I opened the door, dcm pulled out of the driveway and sped off.

Chicken.

oh hell no! I would tell mom that that absolutely would NOT happen again or I will term immediately. no early drop offs. all parents walk all kids to the door.