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I have a 2 1/2yr old dcb that is potty training right now, the problem is he shows no interest in it at all, when I ask him if he has to pee he either just stares at me or says no and when he poops he never tells me, if I catch him pooping he refuses to go on the toilet. His parents have been pushing for him to be potty trained since he turned 2 and even they say he will not go at home either, dcm has said that she has been leaving him in his underwear because she thinks it will be more uncomfortable for him when he has accidents, but he still won't go on the potty and just goes in his underwear(I refuse to do this at my house because I will not let him pee and poo all over my house). I just don't think he is ready, but mom and dad tell me to just keep putting him on the toilet even when he runs away yelling no. I have a potty chart and have told him that if he goes on the potty he will get a sticker but he has no interest. Has anyone else gone through this and what do you tell the parents?
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I am going through this right now, but with my own DS!! I have had to accept that even though is almost 3, he is still not ready yet. I decided to just let it go, and when he was ready he will start telling me. He has finally started to tell me before he goes poop, and he is now successfully potty trained with BMs. His bladder though, still releases about 20 times a day, and I really don't think he is physically able to hold it. It is completely unreasonable to expect a 2 or 3 yr old to go to the potty 20 times a day!! LOL
I would tell the parents that you think he is not ready, and by continually pushing him, it might do more harm than good. I know that's what happened with my son. I also know a lot of ladies here have a policy in their handbook that states a child must be successfully potty trained at home before it will be started in daycare. You would not be out of line to put your foot down and refuse to potty train him any further until he shows more signs of being ready.
Good luck! -
I can tell you what I would do,.... I would say ,.. Mom I understand that he is 2 1/2,.. and that you want him potty learned,.. but when he has learned at home we will begin working with him here, My policy on potty learning has always been,...
~ I do not push to potty learn. I believe that a child will only learn when they are ready and no amount of coaxing is going to make it happen any easier. All children become ready to toilet learn at different ages but it is generally considered to wait until the child is at least 2 yrs of age, before that time he or she is not physically or emotionally prepared to control his or her bowel or bladder movements. Work with them first at night and on weekends. As they progress and experience success at home I will work with them during the day. Once everyone has decided the child is ready to toilet learn, the only time diapers should be used is at naps and bedtime. When your child is ready to toilet learn please dress them in easy to remove clothing. No Belts, zippers, snaps or buttons that your child can not manage alone. Elastic waistbands are the easiest for the child to control.
I know it is not what any parent wants to hear but age and stage are two seperate things,... and we want HIM potty learned,.. not US potty catching. Right??? I promise,.. he will be out of diapers before senior prom,...
then leave it at that. If he tells you take him,.. if not just change him. Its not worth your frustration,.. or his. also I dont say potty train,.. we learn to use the potty,.. we do not train to do it.Comment
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I would look into the 3 day potty training method... it is GREAT!!! just bing it and it will come it... its a ebook.. you can print it off and give it to your parents.... its alot of work... but if the parents and you really want to do this... then it will work... I wish I had this for my 3 older children....Comment
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2 and 3 year olds WILL pee 20 times a day IF YOU let them drink all day you have to cut back their drinks. Also a 3 YEAR OLD is MORE then ready to use the potty. For the provider who posted the question I would take him potty every hour and MAKE him sit for 5 minutes when he goes in the potty give him LOTS of postive praise and when he goes in his pants tell him big boys dont pee in their pants they go in the potty and a kid will NOT learn how to use the potty in pull ups they need to be in undies for potty training and a pull up for nap and bed time ONLY. This meathod worked for my own 2 boys when they where 2 and half and it worked for my little girl who was 1 year and 10 months old and also for 3 daycare kids who where 2.Comment
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I know everyone has some strong opinions about potty training, but I do NOT let him drink all day long. He gets a drink with meals and snacks, that's pretty much it. I also would never withhold a drink from a child who is thirsty... that's just crazy. As far as the pullups, he's only in them after 3 separate instances of multiple consecutive days potty learning with just underwear. This is when I discovered how often this boy can pee. No matter how hard I try, he looses interest and refuses to even sit on the potty after a day or so. I am sorry to disagree, but not all kids are ready by 2 and a half, or even 3. Every child is different.Comment
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Thanks for the advice everyone, I talked to mom yesterday and I guess she is feeling pressure to get him potty trained, people are telling her he should be completely trained by now and what's wrong with him. I told her every child is different and some kids take longer than others that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him, he will do it when he is ready. I let her know that I'm still willing to work with her on it, and she was happy she thought I was going to tell her that I wouldn't do it anymore
. Something she did say though was that dcb never showed an interest in going on the potty they just decided he was ready to do it, so they might give him a break.
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I love it when it all works out! Glad you and mom are on the same page now. (o:Comment
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2 is more than ready to use this method... trust me.... the thing with potty training is.. you have to just give the diapers away.. pull ups as well...
I did mine a little different...
I took my son to the store and had him pick out some toys he really wanted...
I took them and placed them in a box... everytime he told me he had to go... whether he did or not he got 5 minutes of play time, if he did pee then he got 10, if he poop he got 15... at the end of the 3 days he earned the box of toys to add to his collection... the things was... asking him if he had to go potty and reminding him to keep his big boy underwear dry.. plus watchig for his ques as to whether its was potty time.... He had a bad first day, but he got.. by 2pm the 2nd day, he was accident free... but I still did for 3.. following through with what I had talked to him about...
Good luck!!Comment
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Potty training update
Ok so mom showed up this morning and said that she has had dcb in diapers all week last week(he was only here Mon and Tue last week) and not once has he gone on the potty, she said that she made him sit for an hour at a time until he pees she said she's really going to start pushing him harder to get him going on the potty. HUH I thought we talked about it and she said that she was going to think about giving him a break and not pushing him so hard. She asked me if I would put him in his underwear, then she says he will go through about 3 to 4 pairs of underwear by noon peeing ang pooing in them, I guess by the look on my face she figured I wasn't happy with that because she said oh I brought pullups you can just keep him in those if you want. I don't know what happened since we had our chat about dcb, but I'm not putting him in underwear(for sanitary reasons I can't have him going all over my house and furniture) and I can't just leave him on the toilet for an hour at a time I have other things I want to do with the kids. Sigh I will just keep doing what I have been doing with him and keep encouraging him to go on the potty and give him incentives, I just wonder what changed her mind.Comment
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How would you feel about cloth training pants with waterproof covers? That way any mess is contained, but she can still have him in underwear. And, dcb will still be able to feel when he's wet or dirty. If you allow cloth diapers, they'd work basically the same way ...Comment
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I would stick to my policy and tell her he must have diapers here until he is showing signs of being learned,... then he may have pullups but that I dont have the time nor am I allowed to make a child sit on the potty for an hour at a time. Cloth diapers are not the same as underwear,.. underwear that has been pooped in goes right in the trash here.Comment
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Did I say WITHHOLD a drink from a child NO I didnt BUT some parents let there children run around with cups in there mouth ALL DAY LONG and if you do that they WILL pee 20 times a day. YES ALL CHILDREN BEFORE AGE 3 CAN use the potty UNLESS they have some kind of special need then its a different story MOST parents these days are LAZY and this is why kids still wear diapers/pull ups at age 3 and 4 which is just plan nasty. If I can potty train my 3 and 3 kids who arent even mine before they are 3 then it CAN be done I have never been lazy about it nor will I ever be and if I have a parent who is lazy and a child turns 3 in my care and isnt potty trained then there is the door and it is told up front I do NOT watch children who are 3 or older in diapers/pull ups.Comment
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