Non Registered Siblings and Additional Requested Time for Part Timers

[Mom o Col]

I have a part timer who comes anywhere from one to four days a week based on her step father's work schedule. She has a step sister who comes on a drop in basis because when dad isn't working she is with him and when he is working she is with her mother. Often they ask for additional days for the regular attending day care girl and I almost always accommodate (I am legally unlicensed and if I have space for her I take her). A few times dad has had an opportunity to work over time and asked if he could drop both girls off around 3:00 in the afternoon and mom would pick up around 5:30.

I haven't been able to nor did I want to accommodate this. I never committed to this. This morning mom dropped off and the subject came up that dad had texted me yesterday to ask if he could drop them off this Friday around 3 til Mom could pick them up around 5:30. I declined because it was going to be an easy day with only two kids and early pick ups to boot.

Mom told me that Dad said, "Of course she can't. Every time I have the chance for OT she can't. Once or twice would be a coincidence. Three times says she doesn't like R (his daughter)." I've accommodated when I was able or wanted to. I'm hurt and kind of angry to know for sure that none of what I have done is appreciated but what I can't/don't want to do is criticized. Just needed to vent to people who may understand.

I meant to also say that although I have not accommodated for late in the day drop offs I have watched both girls for appointments, custody court, etc. Easy days are hard to come by AND more importantly I plan my own and family appointments for "easy days" because as we all know in this line of work it is harder than others to get to the doctor, run errands, etc

[Blackcat31]

Meh...let them deal with their own issue. I would NOT let it bother me.

I know you feel hurt and angry that he made the comment but in reality you don't work for HIM so you aren't required to be at his beck and call.

If he truly needed the OT or wanted to work it, he would have had back up care arrangements made the FIRST time you said no.

This is dad's issue and the fact that mom is sharing it with you in my opinion means they are trying to guilt you into it. NOT cool!

Personally, I would confront dad about the comment face to face but that's just me. I don't take kindly to comments like that and especially ones made behind my back verses discussing the issue with me like an adult.

DCD is behaving like an ass.

[Crazy8]

I would confront dad and let him know the issue is not with his daughter, the issue is you having other plans after 3pm on those days.

oops, sorry that image is so big but that's what I immediately thought of when I read your post.

[Blackcat31]

oops, sorry that image is so big but that's what I immediately thought of when I read your post.

IT's SO TRUE it should be big!

As a matter of fact we should all print it out, laminate it and hang it on the bulletin board or near your entrances...

It's a good reminder to everyone. Both on the receiving and giving ends.

[Naptime yet?]

IT's SO TRUE it should be big!

As a matter of fact we should all print it out, laminate it and hang it on the bulletin board or near your entrances...

It's a good reminder to everyone. Both on the receiving and giving ends.

.

I was thinking the same thing.

[sharlan]

I have a part timer who comes anywhere from one to four days a week based on her step father's work schedule. She has a step sister who comes on a drop in basis because when dad isn't working she is with him and when he is working she is with her mother. Often they ask for additional days for the regular attending day care girl and I almost always accommodate (I am legally unlicensed and if I have space for her I take her). A few times dad has had an opportunity to work over time and asked if he could drop both girls off around 3:00 in the afternoon and mom would pick up around 5:30.

I haven't been able to nor did I want to accommodate this. I never committed to this. This morning mom dropped off and the subject came up that dad had texted me yesterday to ask if he could drop them off this Friday around 3 til Mom could pick them up around 5:30. I declined because it was going to be an easy day with only two kids and early pick ups to boot.

Mom told me that Dad said, "Of course she can't. Every time I have the chance for OT she can't. Once or twice would be a coincidence. Three times says she doesn't like R (his daughter)." I've accommodated when I was able or wanted to. I'm hurt and kind of angry to know for sure that none of what I have done is appreciated but what I can't/don't want to do is criticized. Just needed to vent to people who may understand.

I meant to also say that although I have not accommodated for late in the day drop offs I have watched both girls for appointments, custody court, etc. Easy days are hard to come by AND more importantly I plan my own and family appointments for "easy days" because as we all know in this line of work it is harder than others to get to the doctor, run errands, etc

It really sounds like you are not the right fit for this familyor them for you. IMHO, it's time for them to find another provider. One who is able to accomodate their changing schedules.

[craftymissbeth]

The biggest thing in all of this that I can't get past is that dcm felt it was necessary to share what dcd said. I think that's childish and inappropriate. What did she think would be the positive outcome out of telling you what dcd said? He had something immature to say about you and she wanted you to know about it... that's something kids do!

He never should have relied on YOU to be the one watching his children outside of the contracted hours.

[Mom o Col]

The biggest thing in all of this that I can't get past is that dcm felt it was necessary to share what dcd said. I think that's childish and inappropriate. What did she think would be the positive outcome out of telling you what dcd said? He had something immature to say about you and she wanted you to know about it... that's something kids do!

He never should have relied on YOU to be the one watching his children outside of the contracted hours.

This is exactly what bothered me. There was no good reason for me to know that. I texted mom and dad and said it was nothing personal and I was sorry he/they felt that way. I explained that I make appointments, etc around the daycare schedule. Dad replied that he understood and didn't take it personally (:confused. He didn't even seem to know what I was talking about so I wonder if mom was stretching the truth. Either way I'm done and moving on.

[Mom o Col]

It really sounds like you are not the right fit for this familyor them for you. IMHO, it's time for them to find another provider. One who is able to accomodate their changing schedules.

I think for the majority of the time we are a good fit for one another but I told them from the start that additional days/siblings were on a case by case basis based on my availability and not to assume. If they want that type of availability they would need to pay for 5 days for both kids.

[Play Care]

I would confront dad and let him know the issue is not with his daughter, the issue is you having other plans after 3pm on those days.

oops, sorry that image is so big but that's what I immediately thought of when I read your post.

I want that sign!!!!

[cheerfuldom]

I wouldnt worry about. Dad just had a tantrum and probably doesn't even remember what he said, not that that makes it okay. If they are that annoying, I would just term and let them know that you are working with full timers or part timers with a consistent schedule from now on.