Need To Vent: Rude Parent

[Kabob]

Well dcm was quick to say she didn't mean what she said and called it a case of miscommunication stemming from her frustration at having to use her vacation days. She also sang praises of my daycare. So now dh thinks I should keep her because he thinks I made my decision based on emotions.

The thing is....her outburst made it hard for me to believe she respects me and I know she was not communicating with me regarding her concerns for over a month. She could've signed up with another daycare or hired back her sitter. I admit I'm mad but it really boils down to the way she chose to word her response and the fact she had time to think about it before she hit "send".

I feel like the bad guy...

[Kabob]

Congrats on the new baby - and don't waste anymore time or energy on that family! I can't believe she is being so rude! When you say you termed your last remaining family, does that mean all of your other families are gone?

They are but I expected that...one was unhappy I was pregnant. Another was causing problems anyway. And then there was this one. I wasn't super keen on adding more families before delivering and figured I'd lose the ones I had...no worries.

And yes I am thoroughly enjoying my time with my new baby anyway.

[e.j.]

Awwww :hug: that new baby is way more important and so is your recovery time than anything that crazy dcm had to say! She is officially nuts for thinking you should take less than you are!! You didn't deserve her rudeness. Don't give her a second thought

I get that it's an inconvenience to families anytime we need to close our day care businesses for any reason and any length of time but....give me a break! After having gone through child birth herself, I can't imagine how she would expect you to bounce back to work even after 3 weeks. That's not nearly enough time in my opinion. She should have been grateful that's all the time you were planning to take. Some people can't think beyond their own nose!

On a positive note, congratulations on your baby's birth!

[Shell]

Congratulations on having your baby! What a rude and selfish woman- she only cares about her needs. I let a family talk me out of my maternity leave (cut down from 2 weeks to 1 ), and I regret it deeply. On top of that dcm brought dcg here sick during this time, and that stressed me out tremendously. The experience taught me that our needs have to come first, we don't get any do-overs. If parents don't care about us as individuals, we don't need them!

[Kabob]

Ugh...with each apology email I receive, I'm feeling even more like the bad guy. I understand her frustration but still her venting it like that made for a difficult situation. If I take her back, she could do that again if she doesn't like something....if I don't take her back, then I feel incredibly guilty...

Still not cutting my time short...dh used up all of his pto to stay home to bond and help out...and I really wasn't planning to be closed for 3 weeks but that's the way things turned out...I tried to give as much notice as possible that it would be more than 2 weeks but I didn't know I'd be induced until a few days before the procedure. Urgh...trying not to let it get to me...

[e.j.]

Well dcm was quick to say she didn't mean what she said and called it a case of miscommunication stemming from her frustration at having to use her vacation days. She also sang praises of my daycare. So now dh thinks I should keep her because he thinks I made my decision based on emotions.

The thing is....her outburst made it hard for me to believe she respects me and I know she was not communicating with me regarding her concerns for over a month. She could've signed up with another daycare or hired back her sitter. I admit I'm mad but it really boils down to the way she chose to word her response and the fact she had time to think about it before she hit "send".

I feel like the bad guy...

You're not the bad guy in this. It's one thing to express frustration in a respectful manner. It's a whole other thing to tell you you're a "joke" and that it's "ridiculous" to want to take time to bond with your baby. The frustration she feels would be understandable to me. The rudeness and child-like temper tantrum would not be. There will be other times when you will need to close with little notice -like when you or your kids are sick. What kind of response will you get from her then? If it were me, I'd stick with the original decision to term and not feel guilty about it.

[Heidi]

You're not the bad guy in this. It's one thing to express frustration in a respectful manner. It's a whole other thing to tell you you're a "joke" and that it's "ridiculous" to want to take time to bond with your baby. The frustration she feels would be understandable to me. The rudeness and child-like temper tantrum would not be. There will be other times when you will need to close with little notice -like when you or your kids are sick. What kind of response will you get from her then? If it were me, I'd stick with the original decision to term and not feel guilty about it.

:hug:

[JoseyJo]

Ugh...with each apology email I receive, I'm feeling even more like the bad guy. I understand her frustration but still her venting it like that made for a difficult situation. If I take her back, she could do that again if she doesn't like something....if I don't take her back, then I feel incredibly guilty...

Still not cutting my time short...dh used up all of his pto to stay home to bond and help out...and I really wasn't planning to be closed for 3 weeks but that's the way things turned out...I tried to give as much notice as possible that it would be more than 2 weeks but I didn't know I'd be induced until a few days before the procedure. Urgh...trying not to let it get to me...

No way I would take this family back! If you did it essentially tells her she can be rude and disrespectful to you, apologize and get away with it. Start fresh when YOU are ready. Since you don't have any families waiting on you you can take as long as you want with your sweet squishy new little one

[KiddieCahoots]

Oh....the baby's here! Congratulations Kabob!

The scenario with your dcp's sounds so much like how the saying goes....
Give them an inch....
and they take a mile...

Don't feel like the bad guy. You did the right thing, for you and your family.

If you don't want to deal with her bad attitude and don't take her back...that's fine!
If you do decide to give her another shot....that's fine too!

Give yourself the control without the worries, you totally deserve it!

[Blackcat31]

Congratulations on your new little one! happyface

YOU ARE NOT THE BAD GUY!!!!!


DCM is doing her best at deflecting HER bad behavior onto you and making you feel guilty for not simply accepting her backtracking apology....

If I were in your shoes I would NOT take this family back. No way, No how!!

She showed you her true colors and is now panicking at the fall out of HER actions, plus you are soooooo right, the next time something doesn't go her way there is NO proof she won't behave the same way AND probably include the added time off you took now as icing on the cake.

I say take this time off to revamp your care program and get some new families in the door.

Let this DCM deal with the fall out of HER bad behavior.

Dr. Phil says "Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior" and I think he might be right when it comes to this DCM.

She can say she is sorry all she wants. She can even try to explain it...but bottom line is she WAS rude and mean to you during a time in your life that should be special and joyous! She ruined that for you and no amount of apologizing or back tracking can take that back.

If she was truly sorry, she'd be paying you IN FULL for the entire 3 weeks you are off and sending a fabulous baby/mommy gift!

She is SAYING she is sorry but she is not SHOWING you. Listen to her.

[SSWonders]

Congratulations on the new addition! IMHO I think she is the one being ridiculous. And there is no way you should feel guilty about anything. I wouldn't have been physically able to take care of other children as well as a newborn at even 3 weeks postpartum.

The thing is, had she been the one having the baby she probably would have wanted time off from paying for daycare or want you to hold a spot for the baby without paying for it. I've learned through the years that parents are going to do what is best for them and very rarely take the provider's situation into account.

And no way you should feel guilty. Guilty because you don't want to put up with someone being rude? That just doesn't make sense.

The thing is, if you take her back, will you be on edge waiting for it to happen again? Or have a hard time making decisions because of how she might react?

If I didn't need the income there is no way I would put myself back in that situation. The stress is not worth it. The baby is more important.

[KiddieCahoots]

Dr. Phil says "Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior" and I think he might be right when it comes to this DCM.

I love Dr. Phil! Wish I could watch his show more.

[Crazy8]

Congrats on your baby!!

I think Maya Angelou said "when people show you who they are, believe them". This dcm showed you who she was, instead of congratulating you on your new baby and asking how he/she was doing she chose to complain about you being closed and you "tricking" them???? Yeah, those are true colors right there. I have had WONDERFUL families that were inconvenienced when I had to close last year, they were able to express both their happiness for my situation and their "oh no, what am I going to do for care" at the same time - it can be done. She chose not to.

Can I ask though, why you told them 2 weeks and are now taking 3? Not that you don't deserve 3 weeks, but maybe she feels a little duped that you were saying 2 weeks and now added on another week.

[cheerfuldom]

Well dcm was quick to say she didn't mean what she said and called it a case of miscommunication stemming from her frustration at having to use her vacation days. She also sang praises of my daycare. So now dh thinks I should keep her because he thinks I made my decision based on emotions.

The thing is....her outburst made it hard for me to believe she respects me and I know she was not communicating with me regarding her concerns for over a month. She could've signed up with another daycare or hired back her sitter. I admit I'm mad but it really boils down to the way she chose to word her response and the fact she had time to think about it before she hit "send".

I feel like the bad guy...

Do NOT listen to your husband and take her back. What she did was try and bully you to get her way and when that didnt work, try to backtrack. She didnt even really apologize since she followed her response up with an excuse that the comments were a miscommunication aka "you didnt understand me and it is your fault for taking things in a way i didnt mean them". She is rude and ungrateful and only backtracking because she has no back up sitter.

[craftymissbeth]

I think it's nannyde who always says that when a situation like this happens they're just trying to get back in with you until they can find someone else.

Congratulations on the new little one!! happyface