Keeping a 3 Year Old Awake at Nap

[DBug]

I have a 3.5 yo dcg who will be starting kindergarten next September. She doesn't nap at all at home and goes to bed at 8pm or so. She's here 3 days a week though, and falls asleep every day that she's here, in spite of my best efforts. And then, from what her parents say, she doesn't go to sleep til 10:30pm. Her parents would like her to stay awake, and I'm okay with that as long as it doesn't require my direct interaction. I need my break, but I do have a 5 yo that stays awake during nap time and reads books in the book center. If my space was big enough, I'd let them play quietly in another room (or at least farther away from the little ones napping on cots in the playroom), but I just don't have the space. If I put them at the kitchen table to colour, they chat and get too loud. So, I've been letting her sit with the 5 yo in the book center, but as soon as the naptime music starts, she lays down on the floor and falls asleep.

So my question is, should I be trying harder to keep her awake? Or do you guys think she needs her sleep, and mom and dad should just try harder to keep her going to bed at 8 at home? If it was my kid, I'd let her sleep at nap, but tell her to read books in bed til she falls asleep at bedtime. But since I'm not in charge of dcg's bedtime , is it my responsibility to keep her awake?

[AmandasFCC]

My personal belief is that if they fall asleep like that, they obviously need it. I might wake her up earlier than the other kids though.

[momofboys]

I have a 3.5 yo dcg who will be starting kindergarten next September. She doesn't nap at all at home and goes to bed at 8pm or so. She's here 3 days a week though, and falls asleep every day that she's here, in spite of my best efforts. And then, from what her parents say, she doesn't go to sleep til 10:30pm. Her parents would like her to stay awake, and I'm okay with that as long as it doesn't require my direct interaction. I need my break, but I do have a 5 yo that stays awake during nap time and reads books in the book center. If my space was big enough, I'd let them play quietly in another room (or at least farther away from the little ones napping on cots in the playroom), but I just don't have the space. If I put them at the kitchen table to colour, they chat and get too loud. So, I've been letting her sit with the 5 yo in the book center, but as soon as the naptime music starts, she lays down on the floor and falls asleep.

So my question is, should I be trying harder to keep her awake? Or do you guys think she needs her sleep, and mom and dad should just try harder to keep her going to bed at 8 at home? If it was my kid, I'd let her sleep at nap, but tell her to read books in bed til she falls asleep at bedtime. But since I'm not in charge of dcg's bedtime , is it my responsibility to keep her awake?

I think she needs her sleep. LAst year I had a 4 yr old DCG whose parents wanted her to stop napping; however, everyday during quiet time she would fall asleep no matter where I put her (couch to sit quietly & do puzzles, bed to look at books,etc). If she is falling asleep she needs a nap IMO. I would wake her up earlier. I'm also perplexed with the parents putting her to bed at 10:30. :confused: On another note how does a child who is 3 1/2 now go to K next fall? When is her b-day? I'm just curious since she likely will only be 4 or 4 1/2, right? In my school district they are fairly strict that a child must be 5 by Aug 1st.

[SilverSabre25]

I think she needs her sleep. LAst year I had a 4 yr old DCG whose parents wanted her to stop napping; however, everyday during quiet time she would fall asleep no matter where I put her (couch to sit quietly & do puzzles, bed to look at books,etc). If she is falling asleep she needs a nap IMO. I would wake her up earlier. I'm also perplexed with the parents putting her to bed at 10:30. :confused: On another note how does a child who is 3 1/2 now go to K next fall? When is her b-day? I'm just curious since she likely will only be 4 or 4 1/2, right? In my school district they are fairly strict that a child must be 5 by Aug 1st.

Knowing what happened with my DD, it's not the parents are PUTTING her to bed at 10:30--she doesn't fall ASLEEP until 10:30. Last fall when my DD was just turning 2, I had to quit letting her nap because if she napped, even 30 minutes, she wouldn't go to sleep until 10, 11...and the kicker was the night she was up until 12:30!!! It was HARD to keep her up the first few months, but for my sanity and her health, she needed to.

Also, some states/countries have "Pre-K" at 4--I'd guess that's what the OP is talking about.

[DBug]

another note how does a child who is 3 1/2 now go to K next fall? When is her b-day? I'm just curious since she likely will only be 4 or 4 1/2, right? In my school district they are fairly strict that a child must be 5 by Aug 1st.

I'm in Ontario -- not sure if it's different than where you are, but here kids go to Junior Kindergarten if they turn 4 by Dec. 31st (I think that's the date). It used to be alternating days (so, only 2 or 3 days a week), but we've just changed to 5 full days a week starting in JK. Needless to say, it's a bit of a stretch for some kids . I'm pretty sure my own DD won't be ready for it ...

[MarinaVanessa]

My personal belief is that if they fall asleep like that, they obviously need it. I might wake her up earlier than the other kids though.

I have the same opinion. I tell parents that "don't want their children to nap" that if the child falls asleep on their own (I don't ask them to lay down etc) then they are tired. I refuse to force a child to stay awake just like I won't force a child to sleep.

[countrymom]

ok, first where in ontario are you. as for the sleeping, your right jk for some kids is really long esp. everyday. I live in the county so my kids still go to school every other day, but I found that my kids where falling asleep on the bus, so we knew they were tired.
If she is falling asleep, I would let her sleep for an hour, parents don't get the fact that kids are busy all day that they do conk out. What do they do on the weekends with her, do they entertain her all the time, because that would be exhausting. Another thing is, its my pet peeve, they put their kids to bed early so they can have quiet time to themselves so thats fine, but in my house my kids don't go to bed till 9 and then its the "I want water, I need to be tucked in...." I wouldn't get a break till after 10pm. Does this child arrive early to your house, and how do they know it has to do with naps, because my ydd sometimes gets overstimulated and doesn't go to sleep early, or if she sleeps late she ends up going to be late kwim.

[Live and Learn]

if a child is at my home in the afternoon they nap. All my parents know this. I wouldn't be a good fit for a child that doesn't nap in the afternoon.......my parents understand and respect this policy.

[Blackcat31]

if a child is at my home in the afternoon they nap. All my parents know this. I wouldn't be a good fit for a child that doesn't nap in the afternoon.......my parents understand and respect this policy.

I agree....EVERYONE has quiet/nap time! I need this time and all my parents are aware and if they don't take a nap or have the rest time then they wouldn't be a good match. In the summer months I have a few school age kids and they have to play outside for nap/quiet time, if they don't want to then the only option is nap/quiet time. In 17 yrs I've never had a problem with this. In my opinion, it sounds like the parents need to work harder getting their child to bed.

[DBug]

Well, this issue resolved itself nicely . On Friday, I set dcg up as far away from the cots as I could with crayons and lots of paper, sitting at a little table, and with another child. I could hear them whispering while I put the sleepers to sleep, but couldn't see them. Well, by the time I had gotten everyone down, the other child was laying down on the linoleum, and dcg was falling asleep on the cold CERAMIC TILE! The poor girl -- it broke my heart! Any child who is so tired that they lay down on freezing cold ceramic tile (it was at my front door where there's a draft) needs their nap! Anyway, I promptly laid her down in the book corner with a blanket and let her sleep. She didn't wake up til the lullabies stopped. So I told mom at pick-up time, who then admitted that dcg has been going to bed at a reasonable time (8:30-ish) on daycare days after all (so much for not being able to get to sleep til 10!). Oi! So, we're back to a cot for the time being

Thanks for all the great advice! I'm glad I'm not the only one who believes in nap time for preschoolers!

[laundrymom]

Kudos to you!!!! and wow, poor girl to be so tired to sleep on the floor like that. I bet she loves her comfy cot. =-)

Well, this issue resolved itself nicely . On Friday, I set dcg up as far away from the cots as I could with crayons and lots of paper, sitting at a little table, and with another child. I could hear them whispering while I put the sleepers to sleep, but couldn't see them. Well, by the time I had gotten everyone down, the other child was laying down on the linoleum, and dcg was falling asleep on the cold CERAMIC TILE! The poor girl -- it broke my heart! Any child who is so tired that they lay down on freezing cold ceramic tile (it was at my front door where there's a draft) needs their nap! Anyway, I promptly laid her down in the book corner with a blanket and let her sleep. She didn't wake up til the lullabies stopped. So I told mom at pick-up time, who then admitted that dcg has been going to bed at a reasonable time (8:30-ish) on daycare days after all (so much for not being able to get to sleep til 10!). Oi! So, we're back to a cot for the time being

Thanks for all the great advice! I'm glad I'm not the only one who believes in nap time for preschoolers!

[countrymom]

so in other words the parents wanted you to get rid of the afternoon nap so they wouldn't have to deal with it. Any child who falls asleep on ceramic needs a nap, speaking of nap, is it 1pm yet.

[DancingQueen]

Naps and/or quiet time is mandatory here - I make the exception at about age 4. But even then I will not interact or allow play time. they have to sit and watch a show. My current 4yr old boy who hates naps and doesn't want to ever have them. falls asleep every single day i set him in front of a show LOL
I told mom that i won't stop him from napping but I won't make him lie down on a cot either.