ugh! Enrolling older infants is NOT for me...

[Blackcat31]

I didn't imply anything. I outright said it and that's what I see. You can be offended.

I wasn't trying to justify why I was offended and I certainly don't need your permission to be offended. :confused:

I KNOW I have a right to be offended.

However, simply telling another member to "deal with it." is rude and not at all conducive to a learning discussion.

You'll "educate" and persuade others of your point much faster/easier by being friendly and helpful rather than rude and condescending.

[Heidi]

I am curious for those that are in the rocking/wearing camp, though...

What do you do at night?

Lets say baby wakes up 3 or 4 times at night, and each time needs to be either rocked back to sleep, or walked around in a sling? I can see doing that for a few weeks, or even a couple month.

But, what about when they are 9 months old? Would you still give up possibly hours of sleep because that's what baby thinks she needs? Can a 9 month old even distinguish between wants and needs?

I know someone will say "that won't happen...they figure it out eventually", but I can tell you I had one dcg (who I termed after 4 days as an infant) that still nursed and needed videos put in at 3 in the morning...at the age of 2 1/2 (the family and I kept in contact). She'd wake her mother up, say "I want to nurse please", and then, when she was done, kindly ask dad to put her video in. Very polite child, I might add. They too, thought she'd eventually just start sleeping through the night just because she wanted to. It just didn't happen.

[Heidi]

Do you know where/how she naps at home? Sorry if I missed it above

I am told she sleeps in her own bed, after a short cry. They go in periodically to soothe a little, then leave. Mom actually used the words "CIO" in her write-up.

I don't know if I have the full story yet, though. Mom is so sweet, but she may be leaving out some info here.

[playground1]

I am curious for those that are in the rocking/wearing camp, though...

What do you do at night?

Lets say baby wakes up 3 or 4 times at night, and each time needs to be either rocked back to sleep, or walked around in a sling? I can see doing that for a few weeks, or even a couple month.

But, what about when they are 9 months old? Would you still give up possibly hours of sleep because that's what baby thinks she needs? Can a 9 month old even distinguish between wants and needs?

I know someone will say "that won't happen...they figure it out eventually", but I can tell you I had one dcg (who I termed after 4 days as an infant) that still nursed and needed videos put in at 3 in the morning...at the age of 2 1/2 (the family and I kept in contact). She'd wake her mother up, say "I want to nurse please", and then, when she was done, kindly ask dad to put her video in. Very polite child, I might add. They too, thought she'd eventually just start sleeping through the night just because she wanted to. It just didn't happen.

I have never in my life rocked a child to sleep at night. I get them just sleepy enough and put them in bed.

[craftymissbeth]

I have never in my life rocked a child to sleep at night. I get them just sleepy enough and put them in bed.

What do you do if they cry when you lay them down? I have no problem rocking them until they're sleepy, but my problem comes when they cry when laid down or can ONLY sleep while constantly rocked. :confused:

[playground1]

However, simply telling another member to "deal with it." is rude and not at all conducive to a learning discussion.

I am really not going to waste my time arguing about hurt feelings. We're adults here. It's just a tactic to distract from the original discussion. Which is why she felt she had to say it four times.

On that note, I'm leaving this discussion because it's devolved.

[playground1]

What do you do if they cry when you lay them down? I have no problem rocking them until they're sleepy, but my problem comes when they cry when laid down or can ONLY sleep while constantly rocked. :confused:

Rub backs, sing, just be there. The first step of SS is making sure they're really tired, right? Which for most kids starting day care is easy because we wear them out.

[craftymissbeth]

I am really not going to waste my time arguing about hurt feelings. We're adults here. It's just a tactic to distract from the original discussion. Which is why she felt she had to say it four times.

On that note, I'm leaving this discussion because it's devolved.

I know you're never going to read this since you've bowed out of this discussion, but yes we are adults here. Except you're not quite acting like one. Why is it your opinion that we're neglectful is valid, but the opinion that what you're saying is actually hurtful is met with "deal with it" and "I am really not going to waste my time arguing about hurt feelings"?

Others have disagreed on the self soothing, but you've been the only person who can't seem to say things nicely. I heard BabyCenter members are ok with that behavior, but for the most part we try to be kind to one another... even if we're disagreeing at the same time.

[Leanna]

Getting lost in the sea of posts but I think someone (Blackcat, I think) asked what I do when multiple children need to be rocked at naptime. Well, all of my kiddos (babies and "big kids") sleep in the same room. The pack and plays are always set-up and we lay out the cots for the 2's,3's, and 4's daily. We are allowed two children under the age of 2 and four children between 2-5. (NYS defines an infant in FCC as under two.) I personally enroll one "big baby" and one "little baby" at a time. The older kids lay down and I rock the baby to sleep. This usually takes between 5-10 minutes. If the other baby is still one that likes to get rocked I have him/her sit with or near us and sing or talk quietly to him/her until I lay the little baby down. Then, I rock the big baby. If any of the tots need rocked they are next but usually they like to be more independent by the time they are 2. The whole process doesn't take very long at all. It really works well for me and my babes and kiddos - that is one of the main reasons I try to get other people to try it . I can see though that if you cared for more than two or three infants by yourself you might have to have a different system.

[Heidi]

Getting lost in the sea of posts but I think someone (Blackcat, I think) asked what I do when multiple children need to be rocked at naptime. Well, all of my kiddos (babies and "big kids") sleep in the same room. The pack and plays are always set-up and we lay out the cots for the 2's,3's, and 4's daily. We are allowed two children under the age of 2 and four children between 2-5. (NYS defines an infant in FCC as under two.) I personally enroll one "big baby" and one "little baby" at a time. The older kids lay down and I rock the baby to sleep. This usually takes between 5-10 minutes. If the other baby is still one that likes to get rocked I have him/her sit with or near us and sing or talk quietly to him/her until I lay the little baby down. Then, I rock the big baby. If any of the tots need rocked they are next but usually they like to be more independent by the time they are 2. The whole process doesn't take very long at all. It really works well for me and my babes and kiddos - that is one of the main reasons I try to get other people to try it . I can see though that if you cared for more than two or three infants by yourself you might have to have a different system.

Leanna...that sounds very cozy and sweet!

See...honestly, I started the thread because I was concerned about this little 9 month old, not SS or CIO or rocking/not rocking. As I said, I like to get them when they're really young, because then I don't have any habits to break. It's a non-issue then. It is much, much, easier on all of us here if they are comfy and content falling asleep in their beds at a young age.

This little girl doesn't want to be rocked; she wants to sleep in a swing. She's 9 months old; and can stand up. It's SO much harder for her because of this.

It's not fair at all, but I can't give her what she wants, so she will have to learn to accept what I can give her. I don't love it, either, but it is what it is.

I know she'll be okay. She's made huge strides already. She comes to me for comfort, and I can make her laugh, she smiles when I sing to her.

[Blackcat31]

Getting lost in the sea of posts but I think someone (Blackcat, I think) asked what I do when multiple children need to be rocked at naptime. Well, all of my kiddos (babies and "big kids") sleep in the same room. The pack and plays are always set-up and we lay out the cots for the 2's,3's, and 4's daily. We are allowed two children under the age of 2 and four children between 2-5. (NYS defines an infant in FCC as under two.) I personally enroll one "big baby" and one "little baby" at a time. The older kids lay down and I rock the baby to sleep. This usually takes between 5-10 minutes. If the other baby is still one that likes to get rocked I have him/her sit with or near us and sing or talk quietly to him/her until I lay the little baby down. Then, I rock the big baby. If any of the tots need rocked they are next but usually they like to be more independent by the time they are 2. The whole process doesn't take very long at all. It really works well for me and my babes and kiddos - that is one of the main reasons I try to get other people to try it . I can see though that if you cared for more than two or three infants by yourself you might have to have a different system.

Hmm, thank you for that Leanna. I can see how that would work if you have the routine down and the kids on a system. Makes sense.

Funny how each state defines infant. Here infant is under 12 months. Toddler is 12-24 months and 2-5 is preschool.

I don't take many infants (only ones from currently enrolled families) so this isn't really an issue for me but I love learning different methods and ways other providers do things. Helps me continuously be a specimen of education.

I've cared for over 200 children in my career and I've never ever had two kids that were the same so keeping my bag of tricks FULL is always a good thing.

Even if I have never done something in a certain manner before, I like to have the "option" in case it ever becomes useful.

[Leanna]

I am really not going to waste my time arguing about hurt feelings. We're adults here. It's just a tactic to distract from the original discussion. Which is why she felt she had to say it four times.

On that note, I'm leaving this discussion because it's devolved.

How has the discussion devolved???? I am one who agrees with your stance on cry-it-out, but it seems to me like you were ok with a debate until someone called you out for your choice of words/tone/etc. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Also, please don't bow out of the discussion just because it is getting a little hot. We really are all here to learn from one another.

[craftymissbeth]

Rub backs, sing, just be there. The first step of SS is making sure they're really tired, right? Which for most kids starting day care is easy because we wear them out.

Uh, that's what I do! :confused:

[Heidi]

I have never in my life rocked a child to sleep at night. I get them just sleepy enough and put them in bed.

ahh...but that's not how it usually works!

DCM of baby I had years ago, they'd rock him to sleep, then sneak him off to bed. If he awoke on the way, they'd start all over.

Guess what happened when this little guy woke up in a BED in the middle of the night? From his perspective, he fell asleep cuddled, warm, being rocked back-and-forth. Next thing he knows, he's in a strange place, it's dark, there'r some creepy animal like things swinging around over his head, and this funky light shining through the window, making them look enormous. I'd freak out, too! ::


Your version of rocking sounds more like a ritual; a routine. That's what I do, too. We have our meal, we read a story, we sing a certain song (even the 11 mo knows it now), and then we wave night-night to all our friends and go off to our beds. I save her for last, I give her an extra cuddle and repeat the song, and then I lay her down. I rub her back for a moment, but she's already starting when I am lowering her to the bed, honestly.

I could try to rock her a bit, but I highly doubt that it would change anything. The second she is aware of those bed walls, she's PO'd.

[Leanna]

Leanna...that sounds very cozy and sweet!

See...honestly, I started the thread because I was concerned about this little 9 month old, not SS or CIO or rocking/not rocking. As I said, I like to get them when they're really young, because then I don't have any habits to break. It's a non-issue then. It is much, much, easier on all of us here if they are comfy and content falling asleep in their beds at a young age.

This little girl doesn't want to be rocked; she wants to sleep in a swing. She's 9 months old; and can stand up. It's SO much harder for her because of this.

It's not fair at all, but I can't give her what she wants, so she will have to learn to accept what I can give her. I don't love it, either, but it is what it is.

I know she'll be okay. She's made huge strides already. She comes to me for comfort, and I can make her laugh, she smiles when I sing to her.

I think coming to you for comfort is a huge step!

And I totally agree that it can be very difficult to teach a child to sleep when they are used to motion sleeping (swing, car, etc.).

Also, if everyone could go back and read Heidi's original post. It is helpful to sometimes remember what was actually said by the person saying it . Heidi says the little girl is cute as a button but cries & cries during naps. She didn't say she hates the baby and she leaves it to cry in a dark room all day.