Just Need Reassurance...

[Kabob]

So dcd of my sibling set picked up today. This is unusual since he usually picks up on Fridays. He was all nice and polite until he said "8:00?" Meaning he wanted to change drop off to 8am tomorrow instead of 9:30am. He and dcm know schedules must be submitted a week in advance. I have allowed them to change their schedule the day before in the past but (as I informed them in my letter and verbally recently) I cannot always make last minute schedule changes due to my impending delivery and my need to have my assistant scheduled for that time slot. I warned them in writing last month and again when they changed their schedule last week.

So when I told him no but offered to start them at 9am (since that's when I scheduled my assistant and I simply cannot deal with this set without her as 5 yo aggressive dcb is part of this set), he got mad and said "no" and glared at me while I smiled back. I informed him that I didn't have my assistant scheduled for that time and I was not informed in advance by him or dcm. He continued to glare while I waited in silence until he mumbled that he probably wasn't going to bring the kids tomorrow and then stormed out.

Should I verify for tomorrow or just let them be? I feel bad for my assistant because that means no work for her if they suddenly quit showing up (I require 2 week's notice in writing and paid up front but I suspect they will forget that rule too).

Urgh. At least if they quit now then that solves my worries I had earlier today...

[Blackcat31]

Let him be. He is acting like a 2 yr old that didn't get a piece of candy.

He KNEW your rules and that you CAN'T LEGALLY take his kids without your assistant and yet he doesn't take the no well???

Threatening to just keep his kids home then is childish and immature.

As a matter of fact, I would be MAD if I were you and would talk with him/mom tomorrow and let them know that you don't appreciate his childish behavior and that he is to be respectful on those occasions where you are unable to accommodate them.

[Crazy8]

I wouldn't bother confirming… but if they are a no call/no show tomorrow I would call/write them and let them know you will take that as their immediate termination and list whatever the terms of your contract state about notice/deposits, etc.

I require payment in advance and take 2 week deposit up front so if someone walks out they lose that 2 weeks as well as whatever they paid for the rest of the current week.

[Kabob]

I haven't had time to get mad yet...guess I'm still in shock he acted that way. I also feel bad my assistant had to see that and she felt bad that she wasn't able to help diffuse that for me. I told her it isn't her job to change her schedule on short notice...nor mine. I'm just sad that instead of appreciating the flexibility I offered in the past when they needed it, they are being rude when I need their understanding. Cements my knowledge that once you offer "special" treatment then they consider it normal and expect it.

I guess I'll just put my ad up early and see if I can get people lined up for after the baby arrives...in the meantime, I might not have much work for my assistant if they pull early or if I term over this. Not sure which yet. But at least maybe I'll have an easier time before the baby comes. Also I wouldn't be completely unable to watch the kids without my assistant but I'm so close according to my dr that I just don't want to risk not having coverage (especially since they are worried that I would have an excessively fast delivery) and I still am running a fever and coughing horribly today so I just am not up to it by myself tomorrow. I'm such a wuss.

I don't know if I'll see him tomorrow so should I send an email if I don't?

Also, I've learned too late to get a 2 week deposit up front...more lessons from experience and this forum.

Edited to add: I didn't think much of him threatening to keep the kids home since he has to keep one home anyway due to him vomiting today. Plus...they didn't bring spare clothes or diapers for the kids so I'm tired of constantly pressuring them to do that too...

[spinnymarie]

In light of your edit, maybe a /email tomorrow like, 'We hope to see you Friday at 9:30 bearing diapers and extra clothing.'

[Kabob]

So I've had time to get mad now. I told dh this morning about what happened last night and he was livid. He suggested terming the family immediately based not just on last night but also on the fact the 5 yo dcb is growing more aggressive and the parents consistently struggle to communicate or follow policies (ie bringing supplies for all the kids...they figured one set of spare clothes would cover all 3 of the kids). He was even more upset that I started having contractions last night...

So I guess we'll see what dcd does today. I haven't heard anything still and I'm worried he's going to try to show up before 9:30am. I won't accept that since he said no to 9am and stormed off last night saying they weren't going to come at all...but I also dread a potential argument.

Depending on how it goes, either they are getting a term notice today or tomorrow effective immediately (depending on when I see them) or maybe a term notice saying they are done in 2 weeks (I doubt that would work since the baby could come before those 2 weeks are up)...it just isn't going to work out like this...

[Meeko]

Don't make their problem yours. They know the rules and this particular situation. Let them be upset. Take care of yourself first.

[TaylorTots]

Let him be. He is acting like a 2 yr old that didn't get a piece of candy.

This. You did well. About the 2 week notice/payment - small claims remembers your rules if they signed them - even if they don't remember.


Also, I am impressed with your patience this far - I have a set of 2.5yr twins. I had a pair of jeans and 2 pairs of socks here after we had 3 accidents in a day all together. No biggie until DCD didn't bring them any the next morning at drop off. I offered him to either take the twins with him to go get clothing or to come get them IMMEDIATELY if we had any accidents. He choose the latter. We went accident-free and the next day when grandma dropped off I had 6 changes of clothing for them :: THAT is what a good DCP does. They follow the rules - I am seriously impressed that you are so patient with this family forgetting supplies and changing their schedule. I would have told them to follow the rules or next infraction attempt they would be termed.

[cheerfuldom]

Just term and be done with it. You have motherhood looming and these people are ruining it. I would give a two weeks notice with the understanding that at the first breach of policy, you will make the term effective immediately. If they do not pay, bring supplies, bring a sick child, show disrespect, or their 5 year old shows aggression to others, term. Right up the notice now before you chicken out of it. I wouldnt worry about the assistant. You do what you have to do and she will have to figure out what she is going to do. Not your problem.

[Kabob]

I have been too patient. I'm always looking for the good in people and they seem determined to prove me wrong.

They didn't show up today and I haven't heard anything from them. Yep dcd sure showed me.

So if they show up tomorrow, they are getting a term notice. I like the idea of a 2 week notice with potential to end sooner...especially since the baby could come before then. On the other hand, I wouldn't mind a nice clean break since then I wouldn't have to worry about refunding money or sending back the few items I do have...

Of course, I don't even know if they are coming back. Super rude considering that for a whole week earlier this month, I let dcd change his schedule on a nightly basis since he supposedly didn't know he would have the kids (dcd and dcm are separated) for the week so I let him change drop off and pick up daily that week so he could still work, with the understanding that I wouldn't be able to do this later in my pregnancy especially as I schedule my assistant. He was also the one that was a jerk about me taking one sick day in months...just so done with the selfishness...

I don't know about small claims but I do know that I'm definitely doing a deposit from now on...I hope this won't be a struggle...

[Kabob]

Well nevermind...dcd waited until the wee hours of this morning to send a picture of a handwritten termination letter dated the day I said no to his request. I also received notice of an online payment submitted for next week. He also sent a quick note saying he's not bringing the kids today either.

Just annoyed that it seems that every time I tell a parent no to their special request (after I'm stupid enough to grant it once) they throw a fit and leave as if I'm the bad guy breaking the rules.

I am happy I have one family now and they are part time so that makes for an easy week next week if they continue to not bring the kids...not sure if I just want to end it now and be done for sure instead of not knowing...

[spinnymarie]

Glad he paid and isn't coming any more, he seems to have unrealistic expectations that I'm sure will get dashed again at his next daycare.

Just annoyed that it seems that every time I tell a parent no to their special request (after I'm stupid enough to grant it once) they throw a fit and leave as if I'm the bad guy breaking the rules.

I think it just takes a couple different daycares to say the same things before they get it. :hug:

[CraftyMom]

Glad they're gone, that's one less headache for you!

It worked that way for me too, I was being accommodating and allowing drop ins for a family as long as I had the availability. When I no longer was able to accommodate they got mad and gave their notice