Families Having Other Families Phone Numbers?

[tehck_1013]

How does this even happen? I hear about how situations arise and how parents will phone other families to either complain or talk about the provider or any number of other things. What, are they buddies or something?

Isn't there supposed to be a level of privacy and confidentiality?

I doubt providers are giving it out, so how does it happen, and why would parents want other families contact info?

[butterfly]

All my families are friendly. They are all facebook friends and I think that may be how they get their contact info. They set up play dates outside of daycare. Some of my families work together, etc.

I think it's completely normal for them to want to bond over their common ground (their kids/daycare).

[Play Care]

They could be in the phone book? My families talk to each other at pick up, and invite the kids to the others birthday parties and such.

That said, If I had one family I knew was calling others to complain about me I would term. That's disrespectful, IMO.

If other families asked I would say "oh we miss Susie and Timmy but the family needed more options for care." All said with a sincere tone and smile. And then I'd change the subject.

[e.j.]

Most of my dc families come to me through word-of-mouth so some families are friendly with each other before they even start here. Others get to know each other at drop-off and pick-up times. Also, the kids invite each other to their birthday parties so the parents get to know each other through that and then get together for other social events. Some parents ask for another's contact info which I give them once I get permission from the other parent.

[Starburst]

At the home care I used to work at most of the families went to the same church and like 1/2 the kids were cousins and at the preschool I did my student teaching at it was a church so all the families were church members and they all knew each other.

The privacy and confidentiality is mostly that YOU cannot share information about THEM or their kids to another family (without permission). If they willingly give their number to another daycare family, that's their choice.

I know some teachers in elementary schools have a class list where they give phone numbers of everyone in the class, but I don't think many teachers do that anymore (due to confidentiality and safety reasons). I just wouldn't give the families each others numbers (at least not without permission), but idk if it's legal for you to make a rule that they can't contact each other out of daycare out of fear that they may or may not talk about you behind your back. They may want to be friends or may want to set up play dates with their kids on the weekend. Though, you may be able to put in your policies that sharing private information, spreading rumors, or otherwise disrespecting the provider, provider's family, daycare assistants, and any daycare children or families (past or present) is grounds for immediate termination of contract.

[CraftyMom]

I haven't had any families get friendly (that I know of).

I'm not sure how I would feel. I know I've had some situations that didn't end well and I certainly wouldn't want to be the talk of a "playdate" with parents. When things don't work out parents rarely see themselves as being to blame, so I can definitely see them talking about me.

But it's up to the other families to make their own judgment I guess

[tehck_1013]

Oh no starburst! I'm not worried about rumors or people saying bad stuff about me or anything. I was just wondering how it was that they did decide to start contacting each other. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's a given that they will talk .

[playground1]

As a parent, I like to have the contact info of the other parents in my child's class. Just yesterday I had to have a chat with a mom about some bullying that's going on.

I think that you're a business and you have to expect that people are going to talk about you and sometimes say things you don't like. Just stay professional and try not to let it get to you. If you try to censor what they say, it makes you look really guilty.

[Blackcat31]

As a parent, I like to have the contact info of the other parents in my child's class. Just yesterday I had to have a chat with a mom about some bullying that's going on.

I think that you're a business and you have to expect that people are going to talk about you and sometimes say things you don't like. Just stay professional and try not to let it get to you. If you try to censor what they say, it makes you look really guilty.

You had to talk to a parent about their child bullying yours or you had to talk to a parent as the teacher about their child bullying others in the classroom?

Just looking for clarification...

[Annalee]

Oh no starburst! I'm not worried about rumors or people saying bad stuff about me or anything. I was just wondering how it was that they did decide to start contacting each other. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's a given that they will talk .

With social media, phone numbers are the least of my worries. Facebook is the connector where I live.......I have parents all the time ask if I heard about something they saw on fb. I do NOT do fb. Some girls recently got fired from the local dc center because they were posting on fb how they hated kids...why would a person post stuff like that. FB was like a soap opera to me when I was on it, didn't take me long to deactivate my account. ::

[spinnymarie]

As a public school teacher I wasn't allowed to even handout a list with everyone's first and last names on it (although they could easily see one and write it down on their own, I just couldn't hand it out). The PTA could ask for everyone's permission to publish a directory, but that took several months to put together each year so it never went out until November.
I had parents pass a note through me to other parents with their phone numbers on it if they hadn't already ran into one another.
But ITA with facebook, online, church and school directories, etc.

[Crazy8]

I think in general it happens because their kids are the same age and they consider them to be their friends. So they invite to bday parties, etc. then mom's start playdates, etc.

In 13 years I have only had it happen a few times, once was years ago when both moms were sending their boys to the same preschool and both had little girls still coming here. They had a lot in common. Fortunately they both loved me, LOL!

Last time though was more recent and moms became FB friends from my FB page (this I find to be the biggest issue in having a daycare fb page). One mom is GREAT, love her and her child. Other mom is a bit helicopter-ish and we just never meshed. Made things a little more difficult and when great family moved away the other decided to leave too. Fine by me, but was an indication that them being friends didn't work so well for the daycare dynamics!

[tehck_1013]

Man, the more reading I do - I'm beginning to think a FB page is just a really bad idea. Of course I haven't created one yet but I like the other FB pages others have listed here to show off. I do however have a website, maybe that should be enough. Not quite sure yet. But I do see how lots of things can become issues regarding privacy when it comes to others and the Daycare FB. Hmmm......

[renodeb]

I don't think providers should give out peoples info. Nothing you can do if they exchange between each other.

[renodeb]

About 5 years ago I had two moms that would stand outside of my house after they picked up there kids and talk for sometimes an hour or more. It would drive me crazy. I didn't like that they did that. I never knew if it was about me or what. They didn't know each other before they both came to my dc. Since then I havent had that happen. I prefer it that way.