Do You Ever?

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  • Michelle
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jan 2011
    • 1932

    Do You Ever?

    Do you ever have to search your mind and think of one good or positive thing to say to mom that a kid did today?

    I always try to brag to mom about all the things their kids did, said, or learned but there is always one kid that I can list in ABC order all the naughty things but good stuff? I draw a blank

    Today I actually said " he ate some of his lunch" that's all I could think of ::
    I didn't say " then he threw the rest all over the floor and stepped on it"
    ::::::
    This poor mom hears nothing but negative all the time from Sunday School, relatives, etc. so I try to limit the negative reports to just the dangerous stuff .

    Does anyone have any suggestions of positive stuff I can say?
    Even though it's barely earned?
  • llpa
    Daycare.com Member
    • Mar 2012
    • 460

    #2
    How old is dck? If he does any art projects etc you could focus on that rather than on him in general. Also, if he helped you in any way at all that day you could mention that. I love that you really want to say something positive to his mom. That is really nice of you!

    Comment

    • EntropyControlSpecialist
      Embracing the chaos.
      • Mar 2012
      • 7466

      #3
      For naughty kids I try to say what they ENJOYED.


      He really enjoyed coloring today...
      He had fun running at recess...
      He really found it funny when we made our noses white with sunscreen...

      Comment

      • Michelle
        Daycare.com Member
        • Jan 2011
        • 1932

        #4
        Originally posted by EntropyControlSpecialist
        For naughty kids I try to say what they ENJOYED.


        He really enjoyed coloring today...
        He had fun running at recess...
        He really found it funny when we made our noses white with sunscreen...
        ok
        that's good.. thank you, it's been one of those days
        I can usually think of something but today?
        no
        :confused:

        Comment

        • Michelle
          Daycare.com Member
          • Jan 2011
          • 1932

          #5
          Originally posted by llpa
          How old is dck? If he does any art projects etc you could focus on that rather than on him in general. Also, if he helped you in any way at all that day you could mention that. I love that you really want to say something positive to his mom. That is really nice of you!
          is this meant to be sarcastic?
          well, anyway kid is 3 and a half and nobody wants to play with him because of his behavior.
          I am his biggest fan and only friend and I usually can handle a day like today but he was totally out of control the entire day
          It got to the point that we just got some baby lotion on him and massaged him to calm him down
          I read about that somewhere and it helped a little
          I think he needs an eval

          Comment

          • cheerfuldom
            Advanced Daycare.com Member
            • Dec 2010
            • 7413

            #6
            Originally posted by Michelle
            is this meant to be sarcastic?
            well, anyway kid is 3 and a half and nobody wants to play with him because of his behavior.
            I am his biggest fan and only friend and I usually can handle a day like today but he was totally out of control the entire day
            It got to the point that we just got some baby lotion on him and massaged him to calm him down
            I read about that somewhere and it helped a little
            I think he needs an eval
            If it is really that bad, I would insist on an eval immediately. I know we providers like to be that soft cushion for kids to fall on but sometimes that is a disservice. we shield parents from doing what will really help their kids.....early intervention evaluations and programs. Sounds like there are issues with this little one. I would be honest with mom and tell her that she needs to have his behavior assessed. He is a disruption constantly at daycare and while you care for him deeply, it is not fair for the other kids, for him, for his providers and parents, for him to continue going without some sort of intervention.

            Comment

            • daycare
              Advanced Daycare.com *********
              • Feb 2011
              • 16259

              #7
              Originally posted by Michelle
              is this meant to be sarcastic?
              well, anyway kid is 3 and a half and nobody wants to play with him because of his behavior.
              I am his biggest fan and only friend and I usually can handle a day like today but he was totally out of control the entire day
              It got to the point that we just got some baby lotion on him and massaged him to calm him down
              I read about that somewhere and it helped a little
              I think he needs an eval
              hey you got that lotion trick from me...it works wonders..

              I agree with cheer. If it is that bad, don't sugar coat it. I would document everything every day. You need to be honest with the mom and tell her what is going on, how you are working to correct the issues and what she needs to do to help you. By working together you guys need to find a way for this kid to thrive in your DC.

              I second the eval. What you are going to do if you constantly sweep it under the rug and then one day you need to term for his HORRIBLE behavior but the parents think that there little darling is the sweetest kid on earth because you never have anything to report.

              I always end a bad day with he didn't have the best day today, these things occurred, he did have fun doing this or that and was helpful in the kitchen today. Lets work on helping him to follow the rules. Best news is that tomorrow is a new day and we can try again tomorrow.

              Comment

              • Michelle
                Daycare.com Member
                • Jan 2011
                • 1932

                #8
                Originally posted by daycare
                hey you got that lotion trick from me...it works wonders..

                I agree with cheer. If it is that bad, don't sugar coat it. I would document everything every day. You need to be honest with the mom and tell her what is going on, how you are working to correct the issues and what she needs to do to help you. By working together you guys need to find a way for this kid to thrive in your DC.

                I second the eval. What you are going to do if you constantly sweep it under the rug and then one day you need to term for his HORRIBLE behavior but the parents think that there little darling is the sweetest kid on earth because you never have anything to report.

                I always end a bad day with he didn't have the best day today, these things occurred, he did have fun doing this or that and was helpful in the kitchen today. Lets work on helping him to follow the rules. Best news is that tomorrow is a new day and we can try again tomorrow.
                thank you,
                this has been very helpful!
                I think they know something is wrong
                it's not just the normal 3 year old misbehavior it's like an explosive rage thing and he is always sorry afterwards but it's getting worse and he's getting bigger
                I will follow your advice

                Comment

                • daycare
                  Advanced Daycare.com *********
                  • Feb 2011
                  • 16259

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Michelle
                  thank you,
                  this has been very helpful!
                  I think they know something is wrong
                  it's not just the normal 3 year old misbehavior it's like an explosive rage thing and he is always sorry afterwards but it's getting worse and he's getting bigger
                  I will follow your advice
                  kids like this give us a run for our money sometime and they make us really rethink our jobs.... Well at least this is how I feel when I have a day like you had.

                  I hope that the rest of your night goes well.

                  Comment

                  • Lucy
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 1654

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Michelle
                    Do you ever have to search your mind and think of one good or positive thing to say to mom that a kid did today?
                    YES!! I don't do daily sheets or anything, but I have one mom (whose kids are 6 & 11 and have been here since birth!!!) who almost always says "so........ good day?". I've started to just say, "yep". Before that it was "Yep. Nothing unusual." But before that, I used to try to think of something to say that the kids did or said that day. Sheesh, doesn't she know that if there was something positive OR negative, I'd be sure to tell her???? After 11 years of working together???? It's irritating, which is why my current answer is simply "yep". Even then, she keeps looking at me like I'm going to add more to that.

                    Comment

                    • Michelle
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Jan 2011
                      • 1932

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Lucy
                      YES!! I don't do daily sheets or anything, but I have one mom (whose kids are 6 & 11 and have been here since birth!!!) who almost always says "so........ good day?". I've started to just say, "yep". Before that it was "Yep. Nothing unusual." But before that, I used to try to think of something to say that the kids did or said that day. Sheesh, doesn't she know that if there was something positive OR negative, I'd be sure to tell her???? After 11 years of working together???? It's irritating, which is why my current answer is simply "yep". Even then, she keeps looking at me like I'm going to add more to that.
                      she breathed well today
                      she can walk well
                      her bladder did a good job because she went potty


                      it's hard I know!!!

                      Comment

                      • llpa
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Mar 2012
                        • 460

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Michelle
                        is this meant to be sarcastic?
                        well, anyway kid is 3 and a half and nobody wants to play with him because of his behavior.
                        I am his biggest fan and only friend and I usually can handle a day like today but he was totally out of control the entire day
                        It got to the point that we just got some baby lotion on him and massaged him to calm him down
                        I read about that somewhere and it helped a little
                        I think he needs an eval
                        Why on earth would you think I was being sarcastic????! I was asking dcks age because if I knew that I may be able to pinpoint better suggestions for you, which is what you asked for, right? And if you take my post at face value and don't read anything into it, I was trying to compliment you!! Hope your day is better today

                        Comment

                        • Michelle
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Jan 2011
                          • 1932

                          #13
                          Originally posted by llpa
                          Why on earth would you think I was being sarcastic????! I was asking dcks age because if I knew that I may be able to pinpoint better suggestions for you, which is what you asked for, right? And if you take my post at face value and don't read anything into it, I was trying to compliment you!! Hope your day is better today
                          I love that you really want to say something positive to his mom. That is really nice of you!

                          I am sorry I am just used to some people on here giving me a hard time
                          maybe I am too sensitive especially after yesterday
                          sorry

                          Comment

                          • llpa
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Mar 2012
                            • 460

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Michelle
                            I love that you really want to say something positive to his mom. That is really nice of you!

                            I am sorry I am just used to some people on here giving me a hard time
                            maybe I am too sensitive especially after yesterday
                            sorry
                            Please let's start over So many times we are quick to criticize parents and not care about their feelings. And mostly, I get that. But it was truly nice of you to say that after the many negatives that mom hears you wanted her to have a positive about her child that day. Sounds like it makes for a loooong day for you. That is hard to take. Hope it's better today.

                            Comment

                            • KIDZRMYBIZ
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Jun 2013
                              • 672

                              #15
                              I had a naughty one here like that. I learned to just tell it like it is, but with a nice delivery, because sometimes dcm would come in the next day asking if dcb did such and such the day before that I didn't mention to her (dcb told on himself). She seemed unhappy that I didn't tell her, but like you, I felt like I was so negative about him all the time. He was a nice kid, but with a very wide naughty streak!

                              So, with your situation, I probably would have first said something fun we did that day (You had such a great hiding place when we played hide-and-seek, didn't you, dcb? Tell Mommy where you hid.), then would have said something like, "And thank you for helping me clean up the mess you made at lunch after your time-out. You learned why we need to keep our food on our plate and not squish it with our feet on the floor. It's tough to get out of the carpet, isn't it?"

                              Same information, nicer delivery.

                              Comment

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