Totally Off Topic, Pertaining To Husbands

[NightOwl]

Let's say you and your husband used to take long rides on his motorcycle ALL THE TIME. Then, you got pregnant and husband sold the motorcycle even though you begged him not to. Fast forward 5 years, husband decides he must have another motorcycle and he's buying it this weekend. He wants you to look it up and see how gorgeous it is. It's a Honda Fury. It's BEAUTIFUL. Except, they are only made to seat ONE. One person. A single rider. You say to him, but it only seats one. Or is that your intention? He seems taken aback, but answers that they are probably made with two seats also. His reaction tells you this hasn't even entered his mind that someone else may want to ride. They do not come as a two seater, btw. Are you hurt? Offended? Don't even think it's an issue?

Edited to add: daughter will be 16 in 3 weeks and husband said no (about a week ago before the motorcycle talk) to financing car for her because he doesn't want to take out any more loans. He already owns two trucks, so the motorcycle will make 3 modes of transportation for him.

[ihop]

Not offended. Most likely he saw pretty shiny and was excited. He thought enough of you to show you and get your opinion. I try not to read a while lot into mens thoughts when it comes to vehicles. I do however think it is an issue if I want to ride it too. Tell him you'd like to get a two seated so you can have some personal time together. Don't over think it.

[JoseyJo]

Personally- hurt and offended. I am pretty sensitive though! I think the main issue though is how he handles it now that he has thought about it. If he doesn't even look at another that doesn't have 2 seats and includes your want to ride with him in every decision I would let it go. If not... JK, but you know what I mean

[NoMoreJuice!]

Um, YES let him know you're offended(and you should be)!

We have an 06 HD Ultra Classic, bought specifically for that plush, comfy back seat. The hubs had a sporty before he had me, then sold it and asked if I'd like to pick out a bike for the both of us. So I married him.

He's said and done 14 million insensitive things since then though, so don't come to any conclusions just from that story.

[NightOwl]

[Lucy]

Totally hurt. And offended!

He didn't ASK you if you thought it was a good idea to buy, he TOLD you he was buying it this weekend.

You used to enjoy the activity of riding together, and he has totally forgotten that, and only wants one for himself.

He won't help out a car-less family member, but he'll buy himself a THIRD mode of transportation.

I don't know your husband, and I don't want to offend you, but this smacks of selfishness to me.

Let it be said that I'm the opposite in regard to motorcycles. My husband has talked of getting one (cheaper on gas, blah..blah..blah), but I've poo-pooed it so much that I think he has given up.

We're also different in regard to finances. I do literally everything financial... banking, bills, budget, taxes, investments, determining if we can "afford" something at the time, etc. My husband is pretty good about "asking" first. (I don't really want to say "asking", because he's not what some people would call "whipped", but he does consult the "treasurer", so-to-speak.) I'm fortunate that he's pretty darn respectful about not making splurge purchases without us talking about it. (In fact, I can't remember him ever doing it ??) And I'm fortunate also that if I sound at all negative towards it (whether for financial reasons, safety reasons, logic reasons, lack-of-storage reasons, etc.) he'll skip it.

So maybe I'm spoiled, but if I were in your situation, I'd be extremely hurt. But I'm also not one to nag and actually SAY that I'm hurt. I internalize it, which only makes it worse. So I'm not one to give advice LOL.

[safechner]

Feeling offered or hurt? Nope! I wouldn't care about it, anyways. My husband has a 2010 Yamaha Raider. It is very beautiful! He did buy second seat to come with it. Honestly, you are not going ride with him everyday. Maybe that is why he didn't think about it since he knew you wouldn't ride with him all the time. I think it is not a big deal, just my opinion.

I dont ride with him but my daughters ride with them sometimes around the neighbors if they asked for it. Actually, I refused to ride with him because he was hitting 100mph when he was riding a sport bike a long time ago with me and I would never ride with him again.

Maybe your husband dont want finance on a car because it costs more than motorcycle, who knows.

[KidGrind]

Let's say you and your husband used to take long rides on his motorcycle ALL THE TIME. Then, you got pregnant and husband sold the motorcycle even though you begged him not to. Fast forward 5 years, husband decides he must have another motorcycle and he's buying it this weekend. He wants you to look it up and see how gorgeous it is. It's a Honda Fury. It's BEAUTIFUL. Except, they are only made to seat ONE. One person. A single rider. You say to him, but it only seats one. Or is that your intention? He seems taken aback, but answers that they are probably made with two seats also. His reaction tells you this hasn't even entered his mind that someone else may want to ride. They do not come as a two seater, btw. Are you hurt? Offended? Don't even think it's an issue?

Edited to add: daughter will be 16 in 3 weeks and husband said no (about a week ago before the motorcycle talk) to financing car for her because he doesn't want to take out any more loans. He already owns two trucks, so the motorcycle will make 3 modes of transportation for him.

I’d be peeved because the motorcycle has been a plan stirring up top for awhile. I’d remind my husband he doesn’t want to take out any loans. In addition, I’d share if a motorcycle is really what he wants, so be it. However, a two-seater is what needs to happen.

[bklsmum]

I'd be hurt but I'd get over it quickly as long as he corrected himself. From what you said it seems like he honestly didn't even think about it which is, sadly, a man trait. It's what they do AFTER they realize the screw up that matters to me.

[midaycare]

I'd be more offended and hurt by him telling me he's spending our money without consulting me. Um ... No. Not in our house. That would probably cause World War III over here if either of us did something like that. We consult each other on purchases over $50. It may sound corny, but it's worked for us. In my best Dave Ramsey Friday scream, "and we're debt free!!!" Except the house ... That's next.

[llpa]

Yes, hurt and offended! I don't think he did it to hurt you tho. Those sport bikes are pretty seductive to any guy kwim? :: Tell him if he wants to play go buy a used dirt bike and
get a nice touring bike for both of you. I love motorcycles and we have had them the entire 40 yrs we've been married. Hubs bought the Suzuki 1500 that we currently have because it was a great value and specifically for that cushy BIG back seat ::

[NightOwl]

I'd be more offended and hurt by him telling me he's spending our money without consulting me. Um ... No. Not in our house. That would probably cause World War III over here if either of us did something like that. We consult each other on purchases over $50. It may sound corny, but it's worked for us. In my best Dave Ramsey Friday scream, "and we're debt free!!!" Except the house ... That's next.

Let me clarify this. We keep separate finances. Things are divided equally, then we each pay for our designated things with our own income. No joint bank accounts, credit cards, etc. So the bike would be coming out of his own money. This has worked well for us for almost 9 years, although it's not typical for most married couples.

[NoMoreJuice!]

Maybe your husband dont want finance on a car because it costs more than motorcycle, who knows.

Sorry to pick on you, but I totally used to think that, until we bought a motorcycle that was roughly 3x more than any car we've ever bought!


On a side note, I would never finance a car for a 16 year old. My dad dropped me off at work at Petsmart every single weekend from age 16-17. So I saved 5 grand for a really nice car, and I took REALLY REALLY REALLY good care of it because I had worked my butt off for it. I had it for almost 9 years and cried like a baby when we sold it!

[NightOwl]

Sorry to pick on you, but I totally used to think that, until we bought a motorcycle that was roughly 3x more than any car we've ever bought!


On a side note, I would never finance a car for a 16 year old. My dad dropped me off at work at Petsmart every single weekend from age 16-17. So I saved 5 grand for a really nice car, and I took REALLY REALLY REALLY good care of it because I had worked my butt off for it. I had it for almost 9 years and cried like a baby when we sold it!

Awwww! I agree, the motorcycle is about 3x what my daughter expects to spend for her car. And she has money saved and a job, so she's making the payments. It's just that we have to do the financing in our names because she's too young to sign contact.

[Kimskiddos]

I would be hurt and offended! We ride too and the passenger seat was of upmost importance to both of us when choosing our motorcycle! Shoot if he decided he needed a single seater, we would also be buying me a single seater! I have it all picked out, a Ducati Monster 696! LOL And yes it cost more than a lot of cars. We have dirt bikes if he needs to ride alone.