Extras

[FluffyGrandma]

Little extras are killing me. It has gotten past out of hand and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

I have 2 girls my daughter and I watch. Dad works 4 hrs over night, so we are paid to watch the girls 7 hrs during the day while he sleeps. They talked my daughter into a $10 sibling/neighbor discount. Dad seems to avoid time with a total of 3 girls (the others in school). Near every day or at least every other he's either texting or sending the other sister up to ask if we will watch all 3 (yes all 3!) While he goes to the store for 1-2 hrs.

Seriously who goes to the store that much! He gives us nothing extra, not even for the child we dont get paid anything for. Plus on days off we get calls to watch for various reasons, which we get paid like a normal day for that. Then on the moms days or after work we will get calls for my daughter to walk over to their house (we are neighbors) to watch the girls while she goes to pick up dinner or TO THE STORE , again no extra pay. Seriously wake his lazy butt up or take them with. Beyond annoying.

I feel myself about to have a lava spewing fit with them and others over abuse of our kindness and just plain rudeness, so I need to get a letter out quick. Not sure if I should nix extras all together or just attatch fees. Also having issues with extra kids being brought with out a call and a mom who wont let me know her weekly schedule untill I text and ask, plus she will no call no show and I will text and get the oh im sorry he isnt coming and then she doesnt pay me for that day. Mondays are slow days and 3 times now no ones called or showed after Ive gotten up to sit, I could have planned to do something. It is past rude.

I dont have contracts which is common in this area. I think I would lose all if I pulled out a contract. So I think a simple note of theses are our rate changes etc would be the way to go. Oh and lets not forget my parents who pay late but the kids come in with new ******s and nike hats. Or ask to pay late then ask me to keep late so they can go to the movies. Most who do these things are ones who get a discount already for various reasons. Its offensive it affects our stress level, ability to pay our bills etc etc. I know I am responsible as well for not putting my foot down. So thatz what I intend to do,just need ideas on the best least dramatic most effective way to do it.

[Angelsj]

Hmm... on the one hand, you go to the store/whatever you want to do, while your nice neighbors watch all your kids for free. On the other, you have to deal with three little girls in the store/whatever. What would *I* choose??

What motivation does this person have to pay you more or take his kids?
Make the changes necessary to either get paid for the extra time or not do it. If something is bothering you about someone else, change your behavior. Say "no" or get paid for the extra time,

[NoMoreJuice!]

I'm sure you recognize that you have fostered and encouraged this behavior for so long that you don't know how to break the cycle. You and your daughter are very kind to go out of your way for these people, but that kind of kindness and running a business rarely ever mesh well. The only way to break this habit is to stop cold turkey! Hand them a letter, let them know you're working to create a business, and you're not a babysitter they can call at whim (see letter for more delicate wording). Deciding between stopping the behavior and charging extra, that's a no brainer for me: I'd stop immediately. There's no way they'll pay you extra for something they expect.

You absolutely need a contract. That is the only thing that will pull you out of this. A contract is something that shows your agreement with the parent in black and white. What you're in is a gray area, and they probably assume you have to do all those extras because they're not "extras" to them: they're part of the package that they pay for. The contract should include rates, late fees, hours, and details that are important to you, such as having a schedule on Friday for the following week. And once you have them sign it, stick to it LIKE GLUE. Don't deviate from your contract even for a second! They will sense weakness and pounce.

"Dear _______, I am writing to inform you of some business practice changes at _____ daycare. I have attached a new contract for you to sign and return, as well as a copy for your records. While I have enjoyed being available to help your family on many occasions outside of daycare, I will no longer be available to watch your children except for during our contracted hours. Please read and sign the contract and contact me if you have questions. Regards, ___________."

[MotherNature]

Not meant to sound like an attack, but why would you regularly agree to go over and watch their kids for free? Esp. on your day off!? Crazytown..and those parents are seriously taking advantage of you guys. Get a contract. Even if you lose this family, it doesn't sound like they're worth keeping anyway. Good luck!

[Blackcat31]

Not meant to sound like an attack, but why would you regularly agree to go over and watch their kids for free? Esp. on your day off!? Crazytown..and those parents are seriously taking advantage of you guys. Get a contract. Even if you lose this family, it doesn't sound like they're worth keeping anyway. Good luck!

Things are only a problem when YOU allow them to be.

Say no.

If they leave, then problem solved.

If they stay but become more respectful AND pay, then problem solved.

Right now, the family is only doing what YOU are allowing them to do.

[sharlan]

You need to decide if you're running a daycare business or a babysitting charity.

If you're running a business, STOP all the freebies. Start attaching a fee for every little extra YOU are willing to give.

Do you have contracts? If not, many members here are willing to share theirs with you. If you do, then you need to update it and spell everything out.

Do you have a parent handbook spelling everything out? If not, many members here are willing to share theirs with you. If you do, then you need to update it and spell everything out.

You can only be taken advantage of if you allow it. Many parents will cross every line you draw. It's up to you to put a stop to it.

[MarinaVanessa]

You teach people how to treat you.

If you are seriously over the way that the arrangement is working then decide what you are okay with. You can attach fees to the "extras" which can either reduce or completely stop the "extras". At minimum at least you'll get paid for those "extras". But be careful, if you just want to stop the "extras" then don't offer them a choice. Just say no, otherwise they may end up deciding that paying extra $ is well worth it and you'll get stuck watching them and feeling like the extra money isn't worth it. Decide beforehand how much $ is worth it for you and then offer that.

It helps to have a "Rate Sheet" with your current rates. Type one up and include all fees including FT, PT and Drop In as well as late pick up and late payment fees etc. Hand this to them when you talk to them and discuss how it's becoming semi-regular and since you are a business you feel the need to have the proper paperwork for all of their children. Ask them if they want to add the other child as a drop in child, meaning they will have to pay your drop in rate.

If it bothers you that they ask your DD to go over to their house include a "babysitting fee" for your daughter to the rate sheet and remember that babysitters charge more per hour than FCC typically. If they are wiling to pay then let our DD keep that $, it's only fair . If you want to stop this altogether then each time they call to ask for DD to go over just explain that she is busy "doing homework", "doing housework", "weeding the garden", "grooming her llama" etc.

It's amazing how many "extras" or how we like to call them "special" stops or at least is hugely reduced when you start attaching fees to them.