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I have this little baby that is 6 1/2 mos old. She is the most stubborn thing!!!!!!!!!! She is very very hard to get to sleep. Cries all during lunch and anytime she isn't being held and entertained. She sleeps with her parents and was worn a lot by dad. Mom says dad can't stand for her to cry and quite frankly today we are trying to cry it out for nap. She would nap in the swing if I let her. She literally screams. I don't know how my other children are sleeping through it. Has anyone ever had success training a baby this young to be a good napper? How did you do it? I literally need a break and nap time is my break. I swear some days I can't even pee. 😞
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I am close to asking parents of prospective infants if they wear their babies or co sleep for the reason you are talking about. They do it with the absolute best of intentions, but then they put the baby in care full-time and there is a problem. What I have done that has mostly worked is a gentler version of CIO. Baby is tired, lay baby down in PnP, stay there for a couple of minutes VERY gently rubbing baby's tummy (no eye contact as this can stimulate baby), then walk out. Baby cries, go back into room and rub baby's tummy again very softly for a minute, walk out. Rinse and repeat. Something about belly rubbing is very soothing to infants. I think an infant massage book that I read said that rubbing a baby's tummy helps them to feel secure. (?) -
Thanks. I didn't know about the not making eye contact. She is so tired right now and her crying has become more of making noise. At some point you would think she would give it up.
I remember my daughter being much like this and I literally had to nap with her to get her to sleep. Bad parent, I know but she wasn't in daycare and I was just a SAHM. 
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Another thing you can try doing is turning out all the lights that are not necessary, turning off any background music you may have on, close your windows, etc. to cut out as much external stimuli as you can.Comment
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I used to always say my daughter would be a DCP's worst nightmare. We co-slept and she was worn. I needed some breathing space and she needed to become a little more independent so I slowly began letting her play with toys on the floor. This was MUCH easier once she could sit up. She was also transitioned to a crib. Now, 1 month later she is doing quite well.
If Mom and Dad aren't on board with changing how they parent some in order to increase baby's happiness then you will likely have to let them go if you can't handle the screaming. They need a nanny.Comment
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If mom and dad aren't working WITH you then everything they do is working AGAINST this child successfully transitioning into your care.
NOT fair to the other kids to have to deal with that.
I'd sit down and have a serious and honest discussion with mom/dad.
Dad might not be able to stand the thought of his child crying but that is SOOOOO unfair to his child.
It is the parents job/responsibility to prepare their child for group care or to hire a nanny where one on one care is provided.Comment
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Wow she never gave it up. Ugh! So stressful. I finally had to hold her after 2 hours. Plus deal with a plumbing problem and the plumbers. Hello Monday. By the time she feel asleep it was time to load them up to get my son from school. Of course she has only slept 30 minutes as I now hear her behind me wide awake. I will win this battle, thanks for all your help. I'm embarking on getting her to sleep at my house and I don't care what they do at home. 😜 My daughter slept with us when she was little. I quit work to stay at home when she was 4. She always napped at daycare but not at home.Comment
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Around 5 months is when I start expecting a routine to develop and sleep training begins. I personally think that children crying is perfectly fine (I did have a screamer that I had to term, though). I just let them cry as long as they need to... as long as I've done my part: they're fed, dry, safe, and comfortable.
I'm realizing that the way I "parent" my dck's is vastly different than the way most parents parent.Comment
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I'm sorry but that is kind of mean.... if you KNOW that the parents do something at home that sets up their child for tough behavior at daycare, then I think it IS your responsibility to talk with the parents about it.
Simply standing your ground and saying you WILL win this battle is really not conducive to doing what is in the child's best interest.
As a parent if I thought my provider was simply looking to win the battle and not address the issue, I would be really sad/hurt/upset.
At the very least, I think you owe it to the parents to let them know how much stress or discord the baby's inability to self-soothe affects the day.Comment
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I see what you mean, but I have sleep trained babies here (gently) without the help of parents. I think that's how OP meant it. That she would win this battle with baby and sleep, with or without the parent's help. She should certainly discuss it. I usually end up not giving every detail during the process, though. It just hurts their wee little hearts too much.
It is MUCH harder on the kids. Ironically, of course, the parents almost eventually have to do it, too, but by then the kiddo is older and stronger and louder. Every single time, it's all I can do not to say "I told you so!"
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BTW, I have talked to the parents and I spoke with dad today. Explained he will create a sleeping monster if he doesn't get this under control. Crying doesn't hurt them if the child's needs have been met especially at 6 1/2 mos. How do I know, because I have a child whom I slept with at 3 mos because she was so sick with the flu that she was almost admitted to the hospital. We created a problem. She slept with us till she was almost 4 then ended up sleeping with her little brother. Plus I had to lay down with her every night till they fell asleep. My son, on the other hand was put in his crib from the very start. He prefers to sleep in his bed alone. My daughter will still ask to sleep with me when dad is out of town.
I have worked with kids and can tell you they often do things at daycare and school that they don't at home. I've worked both daycare and public schools. My other daycare child only has to be placed on his rest mat at nap time, no tears or anything and he takes his nap. At home, different story. Same for my daughter when she was in daycare from infant to age 4. She napped fine there because it was expected of her and it was routine. At home it was different. I don't think I am in anyway being mean. Children get used to routine and when that is broken it is hard on them. Hence why Mondays are hard in daycare. She will get into a routine at my house and if the parents don't choose to follow that routine at their house, it isn't my problem. I don't want to tell anyone how to parent their child but I can do what is best for my daycare children when they are in my care.Comment
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This! Dcks are definitely different here than at home. I see it when the parents pick up and the duck's demeanor totally changes. They know whose buttons can be pushed and whose can't! Smart little devils, they are! And I agree that it's not mean. If the child is fed, clean, comfortable, scared, not in pain, etc, then it's nap time. The end.
It WILL take time. I like the gentle method of sleep training with the tummy rubs. I certainly don't want them to feel abandoned, but they have to know that I won't bend.Comment
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I know daycare kids are different at daycare than they are at home. I share the same belief but with older children.
I said it was mean to just let a baby cry it out at that age just because you want to win the battle.
NOT working WITH parents to do what's best for the child is in my honest opinion mean.
What's best for the child is what we should be doing. NOT just what works best for the provider.
Doing something completely different at home verses daycare is fine and dandy for an older child or one that is testing boundaries and figuring out right from wrong but this is an infant we are talking about.
OP, you said you mentioned it to dad (which was NOT mentioned in your first post) but only told him what a monster he would be creating.... I am wondering if you have sat the parents down and discussed with them how their child sleeps (or doesn't sleep) while at daycare.
Do they actually KNOW you are just letting their child cry it out? Telling them they are creating a monster is not the same thing as partnering with a parent and working towards a common goal.
Also, I disagree about crying not hurting them. Older children often cry when their needs aren't met or they aren't getting their way etc but infants cry for different reasons.
Infants require and deserve respectful and responsive care in order to build a relationship or secure attachment to their caregiver.
When an infant is taught one method of having their needs met at home and then left to cry it out at daycare, it can create all sorts of other issues. Basically the child feels abandoned, scared and alone and letting a baby get to that point IS MEAN.
My suggestion was to work WITH the parent so that together you can help this infant adjust to group care.
Partnering with parents to do what's best for the child is what all providers should strive for.
There are all kinds of parenting styles out there and if working WITH a parent so that you BOTH do things together won't work in this situation because the parents have different beliefs...then that family is not the right fit for your care.
I stand by what I said....just because an infant is fed and dry doesn't mean it's all good. There is so much more to it...Last edited by Blackcat31; 05-13-2014, 07:44 AM.Comment
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Ok.....totally off the subject. Sorry hope I don't offend anybody, and this may sound stupid.......but what does that mean when at the end of someone's post it says last edited by..........date, and time?Comment
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