Logged Out For Privacy Because...

[Unregistered]

You guys are so understanding and open minded. Why can't everyone be this way? I also live in the Bible belt, making it kind of difficult to find anyone who isn't christian. Not that I'm seeking non christian families. Just saying that there isn't much diversity here as far as religion goes.

[Laurel]

I am pagan and would like to vent. I've been in childcare for almost 12 years, I've been a teacher, director, owner, home provider (currently) and I am in the broom closet (A term used by witches to indicate they are not "out"). And it gets frustrating. I love who I am. My spirituality is quite beautiful. The earth is sacred, all life springs forth from her, God is not found in a church, God is in every person, animal, plant, stream, in every aspect of nature. So I'm a nature worshiper. It's a very peaceful religion. But try saying to a client who inquires about your religious beliefs, oh I'm a witch, and watch how fast she bolts for the door. It breaks my heart....
Modern day witches are/do NOT:
Evil, devil worshipers, make blood sacrifices unless it's their own, put hexes on others, use magick for ill will, invade dreams of their enemies, have orgies in the woods, etc.
Modern day witches ARE:
Peaceful, giving, in tune with nature, uses magick for the betterment and protection of their families and the planet, sees God in all living things.
And, even though I would never do something to intentionally hurt someone else, most witches WON'T because we believe in the law of 3. What we send out into the world, we will get back threefold.
It just makes me sad that I have to remain in the proverbial broom closet because potential, or even current, clients wouldn't even attempt tolerance or try to understand. So when I'm asked what my religious preferences are, I grudgingly say that I'm christian.
I'm sure the majority of you reading this will also be taken aback and instantly feel the urge to disassociate with me (which is why I logged out), but think of it this way. 70 years ago, white women would've felt that way about black women. 20 years ago, straight people would've felt this way about gay people (some still do). Society is slowly evolving, but I don't think it will happen in my lifetime that my religion will be as openly accepted as Christians or Jews or Islamics or Buddhists. And I'm here to tell you, pagans, witches in particular, are all around us. There's millions of us. But we're too afraid to tell you. And we're definitely too afraid to come out of it if it means we won't be able to make a living anymore because no one wants their children to be taken care of by a witch. So in the broom closet I stay.

I find it totally weird that someone would even ask. I am an atheist and have been a provider for 20 years and no one has ever asked. I have never asked any of my clients their beliefs either.

My daughter is a Wiccan. I've gone to a few of her gatherings with her and it is so peaceful and hippy like. BUT, I told her that if she doesn't want any attention then don't use the word witch to outsiders. I mean, come on, it has a negative connotation in our society like it or not. Unless she is willing to educate each person then she just can't expect people to be okay with it and feel slighted if they aren't. She doesn't feel that way but just saying....

If a parent would ask me my religion or beliefs, I would say "Why do you ask?" That usually shuts people up about almost any awkward question. Or "Why is it important for you to know that?"

I would never, ever say that I was a Christian if I wasn't. If you don't want to say pagan (and I do understand that as I never mention I am an atheist because I have always said it might be bad for business) then either don't answer or think of something in advance that you would be comfortable with.

Laurel

[Laurel]

It's not part of my program. I don't push my views onto anyone and I wouldn't expect them to do that to me. My vent is that I have to stay hidden and that gets very lonely. There's not much I can do about it though.

In what ways is not telling your parents lonely? Just curious.

My daughter celebrates different holidays like Ostara (near Easter) and Yule (near Christmas). She puts up a tree at Yule (Yule tree).

I am an atheist as I mentioned and I just do the Christian holidays as I grew up with them. For two years (before grandchildren) I didn't and that was THE BEST. None of the hassles but then I wanted to for the grandchildren. Some years I put up a Christmas tree but didn't this year. Gave it to my son for his house.

So it is kind of a hodgepodge at our house. We just do what we feel like. My Wiccan daughter buys her son things with Santa Claus on them. It is just part of our culture.

Just wondering if holiday time is awkward for you.

Laurel

[SignMeUp]

You guys are so understanding and open minded. Why can't everyone be this way? I also live in the Bible belt, making it kind of difficult to find anyone who isn't christian. Not that I'm seeking non christian families. Just saying that there isn't much diversity here as far as religion goes.

It seems like the things that are closest to your heart are the things that it's hardest to figure out how to word, if that makes sense. Normally I don't struggle with appropriate wording, but every once in a while something hits so close to home that I just can't figure it out by myself.
That's why this site is so helpful For the most part, the providers seem to understand that there are many ways to do things, and that the important thing to do is to figure out which one is "correct" for you.
And working together helps too which apparently played a role here

[debbiedoeszip]

In what ways is not telling your parents lonely? Just curious.

My daughter celebrates different holidays like Ostara (near Easter) and Yule (near Christmas). She puts up a tree at Yule (Yule tree).

I am an atheist as I mentioned and I just do the Christian holidays as I grew up with them. For two years (before grandchildren) I didn't and that was THE BEST. None of the hassles but then I wanted to for the grandchildren. Some years I put up a Christmas tree but didn't this year. Gave it to my son for his house.

So it is kind of a hodgepodge at our house. We just do what we feel like. My Wiccan daughter buys her son things with Santa Claus on them. It is just part of our culture.

Just wondering if holiday time is awkward for you.

Laurel

Our celebrations are eclectic as well (Christian and Pagan). Any excuse to eat, drink, and be merry LOL.

[LadyK8]

I'm a Muslim, and don't include religious teachings in my program. However, I make it known in my advertising that my daycare is Muslim-owned, because of the holiday issue, and because I "wear" my religion and they'd know it as soon as they saw me, so I want to save them the trip. Mainly, I don't celebrate national holidays, and I like for the parents to know that my beliefs reflect in certain things that I DON'T do.


I'm sure many people have looked at my flyers, saw "Muslim-owned," and turned the other cheek, but I'd rather not have them as clients.


I'm sorry that this happens to you. Your spirituality has no bearings on the type of care that you offer, and this should be told to parents who may have a problem with it.

I wish you the best. :hug:

[Laurel]

Our celebrations are eclectic as well (Christian and Pagan). Any excuse to eat, drink, and be merry LOL.

Exactly! My two closest friends are Christian and Jewish. The Jewish one does Christmas like I've never seen. She goes all out! She even takes off on Good Friday and my Christian provider friend and I don't. We are all providers. We think that is a hoot. Anything for a day off for her. ::

Laurel

[Unregistered]

When I say it gets lonely, I mean it ****s to have to keep it a secret when it's a very important part of my life. I have to hide any pagan knick knacks, can't wear my pentacle jewelry, can't have my pentacle wall hangings, without raising eyebrows. I guess I'm just frustrated that we as a society aren't "there yet". I refer to myself as a witch as does my family and friends, but I use the word pagan if it comes up with an acquaintance or someone I don't know well. And not at all with parents! So much punch in one tiny little word.... Witch is the traditional name, but I don't use it loosely because there are many places in this world where witches are still being burned at the stake. I see that mess on cnn and I'm sure my clients do too, so I would not use the word witch to describe myself to anyone unless they are a trusted friend or family member.

[NoMoreJuice!]

I have a daycare girl who is being raised Wiccan. She's 9, so really just starting to understand more about the cultural aspect of her religion. She has told children at her school that she's a witch, and she's been laughed at and taunted endlessly. They had to switch schools, and now she, like you, keeps it a secret.

I am of the age when we finally turned a corner in high school and stopped taunting gay people. When I was a sophomore, two guys in my class of 500 came out and were teased mercilessly (not by me, just in general). When I was a junior, 6 more students came out and we started to see how much happier they were. When I was a senior, we had a dozen or two students that had stopped hiding who they were, and even elected a great friend of mine our student body pres. He was the most popular guy in school! My point is, you could actually FEEL the change in the whole school, and it really paved the way for the lower classes to accept everyone for who they were.

(I know this is easier said than done, but) Maybe it's time for you to start paving the way. Especially if you are raising children in your faith...I would hate to start children out in life knowing that they had to hide a huge part of their life from the rest of the world. I hope you surround yourself with loving, accepting people, and let all others know that you are accepting of them as well.

[KidGrind]

I am pagan and would like to vent. I've been in childcare for almost 12 years, I've been a teacher, director, owner, home provider (currently) and I am in the broom closet (A term used by witches to indicate they are not "out"). And it gets frustrating. I love who I am. My spirituality is quite beautiful. The earth is sacred, all life springs forth from her, God is not found in a church, God is in every person, animal, plant, stream, in every aspect of nature. So I'm a nature worshiper. It's a very peaceful religion. But try saying to a client who inquires about your religious beliefs, oh I'm a witch, and watch how fast she bolts for the door. It breaks my heart....
Modern day witches are/do NOT:
Evil, devil worshipers, make blood sacrifices unless it's their own, put hexes on others, use magick for ill will, invade dreams of their enemies, have orgies in the woods, etc.
Modern day witches ARE:
Peaceful, giving, in tune with nature, uses magick for the betterment and protection of their families and the planet, sees God in all living things.
And, even though I would never do something to intentionally hurt someone else, most witches WON'T because we believe in the law of 3. What we send out into the world, we will get back threefold.
It just makes me sad that I have to remain in the proverbial broom closet because potential, or even current, clients wouldn't even attempt tolerance or try to understand. So when I'm asked what my religious preferences are, I grudgingly say that I'm christian.
I'm sure the majority of you reading this will also be taken aback and instantly feel the urge to disassociate with me (which is why I logged out), but think of it this way. 70 years ago, white women would've felt that way about black women. 20 years ago, straight people would've felt this way about gay people (some still do). Society is slowly evolving, but I don't think it will happen in my lifetime that my religion will be as openly accepted as Christians or Jews or Islamics or Buddhists. And I'm here to tell you, pagans, witches in particular, are all around us. There's millions of us. But we're too afraid to tell you. And we're definitely too afraid to come out of it if it means we won't be able to make a living anymore because no one wants their children to be taken care of by a witch. So in the broom closet I stay.

Modern day witches are just like everyone else. Some are wonderful and kind. Some are on the dark side.

Moving along, I do not discuss my beliefs with clients. Instead if religion comes up I share their children with be introduced to a variety of other religions through various books and holidays.

BTW, Jews, Christians, Muslims and others are NOT openly accepted in many places inside and outside of the United States. I know quite a few immigrants who received religious asylum.

Would I enrolled my child in the care of a witch? Yes, if she/he kept it to themselves. Would I enrolled my child in the care of a Christian? Yes, if she/he kept it to themselves. Would I enrolled my child in the care with an atheists? Yes, if she/he kept it to themselves?

When I type kept it to themselves, I mean do not beat me with your particular belief/worship system. If I enroll my child into your care, I am confident you can take excellent care of them & will act accordingly in their best interest for a fee. If I notice some ornament or religious symbol in your home leading to your religious beliefs, I don’t care. If I enroll my children in your home and it comes out in general conversation you’re a witch. I’ll shrug and keep bringing my kid and paying you accordingly.

I’ve dealt with a lot of witches, I’ll leave it at that.

[Laurel]

When I say it gets lonely, I mean it ****s to have to keep it a secret when it's a very important part of my life. I have to hide any pagan knick knacks, can't wear my pentacle jewelry, can't have my pentacle wall hangings, without raising eyebrows. I guess I'm just frustrated that we as a society aren't "there yet". I refer to myself as a witch as does my family and friends, but I use the word pagan if it comes up with an acquaintance or someone I don't know well. And not at all with parents! So much punch in one tiny little word.... Witch is the traditional name, but I don't use it loosely because there are many places in this world where witches are still being burned at the stake. I see that mess on cnn and I'm sure my clients do too, so I would not use the word witch to describe myself to anyone unless they are a trusted friend or family member.

Oh okay, I don't have things like symbols that I need to worry about but it does **** to not be able to speak your true feelings at certain times. I had a very negative reaction one time to the fact that I am an atheist (years ago and not related to daycare). It got worked out to everyone's satisfaction but it was a very bad feeling being shunned for a while by people who had previously seemed to like me. Luckily they came around with the help of someone else but yes it does ****.

I guess it just goes with the territory in being in the minority.

Laurel

[Michael]

Sorry, if I repeat anything here. I have not read all the posts.

The word Witch has a stigma attached to it. Many don't understand the naturalist witch or wicca. I don't think that is going to change soon but we are in a spiritual awakening phase that may change the misconceptions over time.

Just be proud of who you are. You can't change what people want to think (and its usually the worst). IMO, tell them what will put them at ease. Maybe after they get to know you better you can tell them.

At least we are no longer being persecuted or called heathens like in the times of the Inquisition.

[cheerfuldom]

I think you have received some very good responses already. Only you can decide how you feel comfortable answering questions but I think we can all agree that straight out lying "I am a Christian" is doing a great disservice to you emotionally. I would encourage you to find a way to deal with this without lying about who you are. Additionally, we ALL have issues about what we can and cannot do in our home because it doubles as a place of business. You are not alone in that situation. We may have hobbies, interests or religious affiliations that we are discreet about because it could be offensive to parents and we don't want our likes to be detrimental to our income. I say this because it seems like you are having mixed feelings about daycare affecting your home, what you wear and how you show your interests and that is something that most if not all of us can relate to. It comes out in so many ways for me too! I have gone to church services right after daycare and hesitated to answer when parents ask me "oh I see you are dressed up, where are you going?" It is HARD to juggle the fact that our home, our most sacred place, is regularly invaded by other people that feel free to comment on anything and everything but we are being paid to open our home as a business and it is important that you come to terms with that. Either you display your beliefs as you see fit and let the chips fall where they may or you remain discreet about your beliefs in effort to keep from offending or scaring off customers. But you can't have it both ways. It would be nice if we could all be who we are without fear of detriment to the business but that is not how life works.

[Angelsj]

I am openly Christian, and I would want my kids in a Christian environment, so I would ask. However, there are many of all religions, including yours, that do not care, as long as yours is not taught to their children. And some that don't care either way. There are also many who may be openly wishing for you to say what you believe, looking for that care.

If you don't want to discuss it, however, and you do not openly teach the children about your spirituality, I would just say so. "I run a secular child care program and we do not discuss ANY religion or spiritual ideas. I feel that is the parent's domain. If your child asks any questions along that line, I will pass that information to you, so you will be able to answer according to your beliefs."

PS, I know a lot of witches and respect your beliefs, so there is no reason to be "in the broom closet." :hug:

[daycarediva]

Tough situation. My very first thought was one of terminology. Are you very attached to the word "witch"? Isn't there a better term for your beliefs? Like Naturalist or just "I'm a spiritually oriented person"? I'm not trying to simplify the problem, I understand your involves issues deeper than semantics.

I don't think it's anybody's business but your own. I have never been asked that question. I imagine I would decline to answer, as I'm not a practicing anything. I'm not sure I would even want clients that asked such personal questions. I couldn't imagine a client asking something like "Have you ever co habituated out of wedlock or been divorced or a failed relationship?" No. It's a none-of-your-business type question.

I certainly don't judge you for those very peaceful beliefs. I would love to have you watch my children if I loved your program and daycare environment. I live in a pretty secular community, but not all parts of the country are like that.

Did someone ask you this recently? Don't reply "Christian" if you don't want to. Don't reply. But if you feel like you could and should state your true religious orientation, must the word witch be used? If the word is important to you, use it and be ready to explain it just as you explained it here.

Best wishes! It's complex, I hope you get the answers you seek.
:hug:

My husband is pagan, and when people ask he says he is 'spiritual, but not religious'. People give him a quizzical look and drop it.

I have been asked about my religious beliefs by a LOT of clients, I always just say that I am not religious and don't align with any particular faith. HTH!