I Thought This Was A Great Article On Saying "Sorry"

[snbauser]

http://www.cuppacocoa.com/a-better-way-to-say-sorry/

I actually like the "I forgive you" part better than what I always teach them which is "thank you". It makes me batty when they say "that's okay" because if it is something that requires an apology then it's not "okay"

[SilverSabre25]

I like that too. Although I've always taught them to say "Apology accepted" instead of "it's okay" <-- that INFURIATES me. No exaggeration.

[Cradle2crayons]

I liked this article too!!

They do something sort of similar at my kids school but they do the PBIS program there so the statements are related to that.

Here is their PBIS. It's called the P R I D E path.

I am POLITE
I am RESPONSIBLE
I have INTEGRITY
I am DETERMINED to do my best
I will EXCEL in everything I do
I am the PRIDE of Pelahatchie

In their apologies they have to explain how they violated their pride path and what they will change related to that.

Part of their pride path we do here also. It's called the "quiet coyote" and when kids are misbehaving or being loud, the teacher holds up one hand with the middle and ring fingers pinched to their thumb. It looks like coyote ears.

They teach this because kids have to be paying attention to see it and because teachers would have to yell to talk over 25 kids.

The older kids signal is simply a teacher raising their hand.

It's pretty amazing at a high school football game to sit in the stands while chaos is going on and watch one adult step onto the field and raise their arm... And a hush falls on HUNDREDS of people... And the players drop to their knee.

The other schools stare at our kids. But In a good way.

Anyway my long rant is that I totally agree the unconvincing "sorry" gets on my nerves also and I like to teach kids WHY and what can be different next time. Like positive behavior modeling.

[SilverSabre25]

I can't even begin to tell you the number of times I've had a kid saying "sorry" for something (usually unprompted because I don't usually *force* apologies) and I ask, "sorry for what?" and they have NO idea. :confused: I at least have always guided my own children to say, "I'm sorry for [whatever]". But I like the four part thing.

[mountainside13]

Love it! lovethislovethislovethis

[melilley]

I liked this article too!!

They do something sort of similar at my kids school but they do the PBIS program there so the statements are related to that.

Here is their PBIS. It's called the P R I D E path.

I am POLITE
I am RESPONSIBLE
I have INTEGRITY
I am DETERMINED to do my best
I will EXCEL in everything I do
I am the PRIDE of Pelahatchie

In their apologies they have to explain how they violated their pride path and what they will change related to that.

Part of their pride path we do here also. It's called the "quiet coyote" and when kids are misbehaving or being loud, the teacher holds up one hand with the middle and ring fingers pinched to their thumb. It looks like coyote ears.

They teach this because kids have to be paying attention to see it and because teachers would have to yell to talk over 25 kids.

The older kids signal is simply a teacher raising their hand.

It's pretty amazing at a high school football game to sit in the stands while chaos is going on and watch one adult step onto the field and raise their arm... And a hush falls on HUNDREDS of people... And the players drop to their knee.

The other schools stare at our kids. But In a good way.

Anyway my long rant is that I totally agree the unconvincing "sorry" gets on my nerves also and I like to teach kids WHY and what can be different next time. Like positive behavior modeling.

Our school system has/implements the same thing! They even go over it the first week of school and then throughout the year, the do activities that correlate with PRIDE. They also get these "right on" tickets when teachers see them do something that has to do with pride and they can cash them in for stuff.
I love it.

[Cradle2crayons]

Our school system has/implements the same thing! They even go over it the first week of school and then throughout the year, the do activities that correlate with PRIDE. They also get these "right on" tickets when teachers see them do something that has to do with pride and they can cash them in for stuff.
I love it.

Ours dos this too!! The kids love buying stuff at the ticket store. Gosh a little ten cent car costs like ten tickets though!! Lol.

[Blackcat31]

Our school system has/implements the same thing! They even go over it the first week of school and then throughout the year, the do activities that correlate with PRIDE. They also get these "right on" tickets when teachers see them do something that has to do with pride and they can cash them in for stuff.
I love it.

Ours dos this too!! The kids love buying stuff at the ticket store. Gosh a little ten cent car costs like ten tickets though!! Lol.

My kids' school did this too.

While a nice idea in theory, personally I do not support it though because I feel it rewards kids for doing the right thing.

I know the reward isnt the motivator to do the right thing since they basically have to be caught in the act sort of thing but still....

kids should always be taught to do the right thing. just because.

When my kids did receive tickets or coupons, I had them get a school pencil or something similar and donate it to someone they felt might not have ever had the opportunity to get one themselves.



As for the apology or "I'm sorry" concept.... A pet peeve for me is when a kid does misbehave and I implement a consequence and the kids spends the whole time saying "But I said I was sorry" as if apologizing is a free pass for their behavior.

[spinnymarie]

I love the extended apology, though I think it more appropriate for older kids. We sort of sum this up in our discussion of the event, but I do like the idea of having the kids say it.
I'm fine with 'it's ok' - I actually teach them to say this, as in , 'things are now ok between us since we discussed and you apologized' or, in other words, I forgive you. I think it's a perfectly developmentally appropriate way to accept an apology and agree to move on.

[childcaremom]

My kids' school did this too.

While a nice idea in theory, personally I do not support it though because I feel it rewards kids for doing the right thing.

I know the reward isnt the motivator to do the right thing since they basically have to be caught in the act sort of thing but still....

kids should always be taught to do the right thing. just because.

Couldn't agree more.

[SilverSabre25]

As for the apology or "I'm sorry" concept.... A pet peeve for me is when a kid does misbehave and I implement a consequence and the kids spends the whole time saying "But I said I was sorry" as if apologizing is a free pass for their behavior.

OMG THIS

I also loathe "it was an accident" and "I forgot"--they use those as "get out of jail free" cards too.