Overeating? WWYD?

[Second Home]

He complIains he is hungry and his mom gives him snacks or fast food . It sounds like he knows he will get junk food if he complains to mom . Playing you against her to get food .

Sounds like you are doing the right thing .

[Blackcat31]

I would supply DCM with the meal requirements (including portion sizes) from the food program.

I would tell her you are NOT required to serve seconds and you can't always guarantee that there will be seconds or that the seconds will always be served to him. Others like seconds too.

I would ask DCM to take DCB to the Dr and have the Dr write out a specific diet including portion sizes. IF the diet the Dr suggests exceeds what you normally serve, have DCM absorb that cost.

I would treat this like ANY other dietary issue that requires a special diet statement.

[melilley]

I have a 1.5 yo dc who is the same way. He will eat adult sized portions and always wants more. The parents just laugh and say they give him what he wants at home. He is not big/obese by any means, but his parents are.

I do give him more than the required portion, but also stop at seconds.

I agree, I think that you are doing the right thing. He is getting fed and taken care of.

[Laurel]

I would supply DCM with the meal requirements (including portion sizes) from the food program.

I would tell her you are NOT required to serve seconds and you can't always guarantee that there will be seconds or that the seconds will always be served to him. Others like seconds too.

I would ask DCM to take DCB to the Dr and have the Dr write out a specific diet including portion sizes. IF the diet the Dr suggests exceeds what you normally serve, have DCM absorb that cost.

I would treat this like ANY other dietary issue that requires a special diet statement.

I really like the idea of having the doctor write down the portion sizes (or a registered dietician). That way it is out of a provider's hands and onto the parent.

Laurel

[Laurel]

Do you send home daily sheets that say what he ate? I would go as far as taking a picture of his meals so that she can see he is eating PLENTY. That much food would feed 3 kids! And I would encourage a doctor's visit. Provide her with a copy of the normal serving amounts for his age so that she sees the vast difference in what is normally consumed and what he's consuming. To be frank, this kid's eating habits is costing you money. It's literally like feeding at least 3, instead of just one.

Also, if you are on the food program Daycarediva (which I am not) ask for their recommendations. That is their job so make them do it.

Laurel

[daycarediva]

THANK YOU ALL! She is now emailing me about it, even breaking down how many servings of fruit, veg, grain and protein he gets a day and telling ME to add more. ????

He doesn't LIKE most protein sources, especially animal. He will eat it if it's in something. I give all kids yogurt or eggs at breakfast, even though I am not required by the food program to do so. He ALWAYS refuses them. He was fine with the chicken, since I put greek yogurt on it (instead of mayo) and it was in a wrap. If I make a cheeseburger- he won't eat the meat, picks off the cheese, eats the bun.

He drinks a TON of water. As soon as we are done with meals, we clean up the table, and their sport style water bottles are filled and available. He goes through around 3 refills of a 16oz cup during the day. That's another potty training issue. He soaks through every single pull up unless it's changed every 2 hours or so.

He is probably getting plenty and you are serving him good food.

However, I used to be a commando low carber and met one lady on a forum who had sooo much trouble losing and also said she didn't seem to have an 'off button' where food was concerned. She had a very interesting case. She'd post exactly what she ate for months and no one could figure it out. Finally, after much experimenting, she finally got her button to go off. She had to go almost no carb. Even milk in her coffee triggered her 'button'. It was so very weird.

I'm sure yours doesn't have anything like that but it wouldn't hurt to reduce his carbs and give him some protein with every meal and snack. I'd put peanut butter on his banana, give him yogurt with fruit rather than crackers, a hard boiled or scrambled egg instead of the banana bread, etc.

Even though bananas and yogurt are not really low carb (I have to keep reminding myself I'm not commando anymore or even a low carber per se : it would be what I would do for a while. More fiber would be good also and whole milk over 2%. Remember Playcare said drinking full fat milk helped her be less hungry in another thread?

I am reading a book now by Bob Harper my favorite exercise guru (of the Biggest Loser fame) and he says "Eat protein with every meal or be grouchy."

Laurel

I am a low carb eater, I have PCOS and several other medical issues. If I eat bread, I am a SLUG. This child is a carboholic.

I also make as much as possible homemade- my HM banana bread was made with whole wheat flour. Whole wheat is FILLING.

sounds to me that he's also eating out of boredom. I would only serve the appropriate size and thats it. If he's hungry tell him to go and play with something. Also, why is he not potty trained.

His parents are lazy. Seriously, there is no other explanation. By Friday he is having no accidents. When he returns, ONLY accidents.

Our day is also SUPER structured, he gets very little down time.

He complIains he is hungry and his mom gives him snacks or fast food . It sounds like he knows he will get junk food if he complains to mom . Playing you against her to get food .

Sounds like you are doing the right thing .

I think this has something to do with it as well. This child is not allowed to cry, be sad, etc and I am sure they use food/snacks/treats to help with that.

I would supply DCM with the meal requirements (including portion sizes) from the food program.

I would tell her you are NOT required to serve seconds and you can't always guarantee that there will be seconds or that the seconds will always be served to him. Others like seconds too.

I would ask DCM to take DCB to the Dr and have the Dr write out a specific diet including portion sizes. IF the diet the Dr suggests exceeds what you normally serve, have DCM absorb that cost.

I would treat this like ANY other dietary issue that requires a special diet statement.

That's a GREAT IDEA! I can write up what our menu is, what he consumed, and what dcm's concerns are on your form. THEN have the dr sign it, or state that he is missing components, etc. PERFECT!


I know I missed a bunch of people I need to respond to, not sure why the quotes didn't all show up.

I send home take home sheets, his ALWAYS list seconds. He eats every 2-3ish hours. He eats at home before arriving, around 6:30. With me he eats- breakfast 8-8:30, lunch 11:30-12, snack 3-3:30. He gets picked up at 4:30 and had a happy meal in his hand by 5. THEN ate dinner (no idea what that consisted of).

I take photos of our meals and snack and post them on my private facebook page. His parents are aware that he IS being fed, and what quantity.

He loves ALL food, except protein. Wont touch eggs, yogurt, plain meat (eats nuggets, and convenience style breaded items though) I have been allowing him to 'finish up' the veggies after everyone has seconds as well.

His parents are very overweight. Mom tries, but her idea of healthy is anything labeled fat free or low fat. Oreos are healthy if labeled low fat in her opinion. Mom enrolled him with me initially to get a healther lifestyle for him. Meals, exercise and outdoor play. He was previously in a licensed group daycare, they did a lot of convenience food, allowed the kids to carry around milk in sippy cups all day, and did the minimum outside time and if the wind was blowing or it 'looked like rain' they didn't go outside. Also, lots of TV.

When he first started here, he had MASSIVE blowouts from all of the fiber being introduced to his diet. We ended up having to have Mom bring lunch and I would give him half my lunch/half hers (PB&J'S on white, crackers, fruit roll ups, sunny D....)

He also eats VERY fast to the point of gagging himself. When he first started he would eat all of his food, then make grabs for everyone elses. I still have to pace him. I have him sit down last, remind the kids to chew chew chew, stop him from shoveling more food in several times during each meal.

He also exhibits sensory seeking behavior, and is a little behind-motor skills, still does one stair at a time, fist holds a pencil, can't use scissors at all. His expressive language is fine, but I do have concerns with receptive. Mom thinks he is a genius, just klutzy, so that conversation didn't go well.

[Cradle2crayons]

I wanted to insert here... I had a dcg a long time ago who was obese and both parents.

Same situation. Parents wayyyyyyy over fed the child.

I asked mom to get dietary recommendations on serving sizes even specifics from their pediatrician. The pediatrician (their family Friend) wrote to give the child every quantity as often as they wanted.

I sent them back to the dr with a list of what he child was consuming. Again the dr (who is also very obese if that matters) said the child could have unlimited portion whenever however they wanted. Even wrote HUGE portion sizes my own husband can't consume.

At that point I had to have a very awkward conversation with mom about what I was willing and not willing to do.

Several months later I found out that apparently they went to the dr for something unrelated and the dr that was covering for the family friend dr went smooth OFF on dcm about the health of the child and even threatened to call Dhs if mom didn't step up and do right.

I was like

[TwinKristi]

I would just explain that this is the way it is. Obesity is a huge problem in the child care industry especially. Like 75% of children in childcare are overweight according to the nutrition class I took. It's not that way in my childcare, but in others it is. I only have 1 that would be considered overweight, and he eats like a man. He's a meat and potatoes (and carbs) kinda kid. He would eat 2 adults sized portions of pasta if that's what you served. He has issues with chewing, stuffing, etc. so I really try to limit what I give him and the size. He would stick half of a banana in his mouth at once if you let him. I think part of the problem is that he doesn't chew his food, he eats too fast and he just keeps going. His full sensor doesn't tell him right away because his body hasn't caught up with what eaten yet.

[Unregistered]

When I used to teach in a public school, there was a girl was very obese. She was in first grade and weighed more than I do. She would eat breakfast at home, breakfast in the before school program, eat school lunch, and her "snack" from home was always a full lunch. She was getting to the point of having trouble walking. It was a very sad situation. Then I went down to the kindergarten for something. Her little sister was in that class and even bigger. I'm assuming the same routine. I worked in a building that had p-5. The majority of the children were very obese. I was friends with a prek teacher there. One boy's daily snack was pop tarts, a fruit cup, chips, and a HUGE juice. She told me the mom would check the lunch box and make sure it was all eaten and complain if a crumb was left.

This is why I don't offer meals (and allergies). All food has to be brought in. I've had a few parents try to "forget lunch" and I give them a handful of crackers and milk. The parents are told at nap and at pick up "You broke the contract. Your child will not be allowed in tomorrow. Please make other arrangements". In the four years I've been doing it, it has cost me clients. You know what? Those were the children who other "issues" and I looking to dump asap anyway. It was never children who were well behaved and parents who weren't PITAs. I have a good friend who runs a daycare a few towns over and she tells me time and time again a lot of parents see free food as a buffet.

[Laurel]

I'm glad he'll at least eat fruits/veggies. Might a protein shake be an option? I make one from Bob's book if you are interested, I will post it. Maybe one with protein powder? I guess kid's can have that. Not sure why they couldn't.

Laurel

[Laurel]

Could probably hide tofu in dips/puddings.

[Heidi]

I was going to suggest more protein, more water, less carbs. Seems that's already been handled.

If he eats the bun, leaves the protein, I'd give him a tiny little bun (or half a piece of bread). When he asks for more, I'd say "sure, as soon as your plate is empty".

Throwing away the protein that will keep him full while complaining about being hungry constantly? nahh...

I'd go so far as putting his plate in the fridge, and when he complains about being hungry, saying "well, good thing I saved your hamburger from lunch! "

[dalman]

He also eats VERY fast to the point of gagging himself. When he first started he would eat all of his food, then make grabs for everyone elses. I still have to pace him. I have him sit down last, remind the kids to chew chew chew, stop him from shoveling more food in several times during each meal.

He also exhibits sensory seeking behavior, and is a little behind-motor skills, still does one stair at a time, fist holds a pencil, can't use scissors at all. His expressive language is fine, but I do have concerns with receptive. Mom thinks he is a genius, just klutzy, so that conversation didn't go well.

From what you have shared, I would not be surprised to find that there are some developmental issues. None of this is "normal" 3 1/2 year old behavior. So the conversation with Mom didn't go well, but eventually he will have to go to preschool screening and hopefully they will pick up on some of his issues and get him the help he needs. I would not continue to overfeed him as this does constitute abuse. Does he have any of the symptoms of Down Syndrome? This is typical behavior for someone with DS. Good luck. Unfortunately Mom isn't any help.

[Laurel]

I was going to suggest more protein, more water, less carbs. Seems that's already been handled.

If he eats the bun, leaves the protein, I'd give him a tiny little bun (or half a piece of bread). When he asks for more, I'd say "sure, as soon as your plate is empty".

Throwing away the protein that will keep him full while complaining about being hungry constantly? nahh...

I'd go so far as putting his plate in the fridge, and when he complains about being hungry, saying "well, good thing I saved your hamburger from lunch! "

[Blackcat31]

From what you have shared, I would not be surprised to find that there are some developmental issues. None of this is "normal" 3 1/2 year old behavior. So the conversation with Mom didn't go well, but eventually he will have to go to preschool screening and hopefully they will pick up on some of his issues and get him the help he needs. I would not continue to overfeed him as this does constitute abuse. Does he have any of the symptoms of Down Syndrome? This is typical behavior for someone with DS. Good luck. Unfortunately Mom isn't any help.

I hear and understand what you are saying but over feeding a child, at least not continuing to feed him in the same manner as his parents does not constitute abuse.

Poor eating habits, unhealthy life style, misinformed about proper diet and nutrition maybe but not abuse.

If it were abuse OP should immediately call CPS and report the parent.

It sounds to me more like the parents simply do not understand how to eat a healthy diet. OP said they, themselves were over weight. Also many working parents give in to their child's screams for food (whether it be type of food or amount of food) just so their child isn't unhappy.

We've all heard it before.... "I don't want them to be hungry so I gave them a cookie for breakfast" or "They will only eat PB & J".. etc

That isn't abuse...it's ignorance.

I think DaycareDiva got some really good advice about how to deal with this issue...involving a doctor or certified nutritionalist and I definitely think that is the route she should go as it provides a long term solution (healthier eating/education) for the issue.