New 5yo DCB Picking In My 16mo Son. WWYD?

[SunshineMama]

We are on week 3 of 2 new dcbs, brothers, 2.5 and almost 5. I caught dcb5 tripping my 16 month old last week. Today, I had to run to another room, and when I came back in, my son was laying on his back next to dcb crying. I asked dcb5 what happened and he said he just fell down by himself. Today in the car, I caught dcb pretending to pat my son's arm in the car and smile and be nice, but he started to pinch him when he thought I wasn't looking. There have been a few other incidents where dcb was just bothering other kids to annoy them.

Dcbs will be gone all summer and back in the fall. I have already talked to dcm about dcb kicking dd5, and throwing blocks at her. Other than the random pinches and kicks, the boys are fairly well behaved. They demand a lot of attention and have a ton of energy, but that is to be expected. I am feeling more drained though, bc I cannot turn my back for a second without having to worry about dcb doing something to another child.

Should I just ride out the next few weeks and hope that they come back at the end of summer better behaved? They come at 630am and are here m-th, full day 1 day and half days the others. I am constantly correcting behavior and redirecting. How long will that take? Clearly the 5yo knows what he's doing, he looks at me to see if I'm looking and acts very sweet, then he makes his move... thoughts?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

He is 5. He is more than capable of not harming others. I would put him on a behavior management plan immediately and consider not inviting him back after the summer.

[preschoolteacher]

He knows better and could really hurt a younger child. I worry that he's picking on kids who can't talk to tell you what happened. Behavior plan, and two week trial again when/if he returns after summer.

[SunshineMama]

Can you elaborate on an appropriate behavior plan? This is new to me.

[NightOwl]

I would stay on him like white on rice and give immediate consequences for every infraction that involves causing pain or attempting to cause pain to another child. This is ridiculous. He knows better. What is his home life like? Is there someone at home doing this to him? Does he do this to little brother?

[coolconfidentme]

If it was me, I would term right away! At 5 years old he knows right from wrong. What he is doing is wrong and intentionally hurtful to others. I have zero tolerance for children who intentionally hurt others. My job is to look out for the safety of everyone. That is near impossible to do with a child who waits for you to turn your head to be mean.

[Second Home]

If he can not be trusted I would not let him near other kids . I would set aside things for him to do by himself . I would also let the dcm know that since he is intentionally hurting others that he will not be allowed to interact with them until he learns the proper way to behave . I would also give a notice that if he harms another child then he will be termed .

You risk losing other dcf 's because this child is hurting their kids . At this age he knows what he is doing , he is being sneaky when he does it . It may not be long before he hurts someone badly .

[Blackcat31]

Sounds like he needs a good lesson in personal space.

Time to bring out the hula hoops. Great visual for kids to understand the concept of personal space!

I do NOT allow ANYONE to pick up other children (including siblings) while here.

TOO much liability.

I would also talk with DCM/DCD and have her talk with her child so he understands that he is NOT allowed to pickup or touch anyone without permission.

He is old enough to understand.

[childcaremom]

If he can not be trusted I would not let him near other kids . I would set aside things for him to do by himself . I would also let the dcm know that since he is intentionally hurting others that he will not be allowed to interact with them until he learns the proper way to behave . I would also give a notice that if he harms another child then he will be termed .

You risk losing other dcf 's because this child is hurting their kids . At this age he knows what he is doing , he is being sneaky when he does it . It may not be long before he hurts someone badly .

This is my thinking, too. I will also add that it is only his third week there. I imagine that this is only the tip of the iceberg, as far as his behaviour goes.

I would term immediately.