16 Month and Walking

[cara041083]

I have a 16 month old that will stand on her own. She had walked for me several times ( I have even recorded it for parents) but now she is fighting me on walking. Her problem is that her parents walk with her holding her hands EVERYWHERE! and I mean everywhere. From the car to where ever they are going they are walking with her holding her hand. Which is good, Im not saying it isn't. But I think she is being stubborn and now that she knows all she has to do is hold up her hand, then why would she walk on her own. Here is my problem. The dad keeps making small comments about her walking. For instance yesterday at pick up he said"

"Well I feel bad for her because her brother walked at 10 months, but of course he went to ****** Daycare and she worked with him and had push toys for him to walk on"

Its little comments like that that I don't get why hes doing it. I have had her since she was a baby and she has always done very well. What else can I do to help her? Now she is getting to a point that she won't even interact with me because It seems like all im doing is trying to get her to walk. Do I say something to the parents? Do I just look the other way? I don't like those kind of comments but I feel like im the only one that can see she can do it but she's never going to if they don't let her. I am so frustrated.

[Heidi]

So..I don't remember this first hand, but the story goes:

When I started walking, I always wanted to hold on to one finger of my parents or GMA. One day, GMA got the brainy idea to replace the finger with a round clothes pin. Apparently, I walked around hold up a clothes pin for a while (a day? an hour?), then got over it.

Got any round clothes pins?

[Heidi]

So..I don't remember this first hand, but the story goes:

When I started walking, I always wanted to hold on to one finger of my parents or GMA. One day, GMA got the brainy idea to replace the finger with a round clothes pin, then let go. Apparently, I walked around holding up a clothes pin for a while (a day? an hour?), then got over it.

Got any round clothes pins?

[cara041083]

So..I don't remember this first hand, but the story goes:

When I started walking, I always wanted to hold on to one finger of my parents or GMA. One day, GMA got the brainy idea to replace the finger with a round clothes pin, then let go. Apparently, I walked around holding up a clothes pin for a while (a day? an hour?), then got over it.

Got any round clothes pins?

I must say that is GENIUS!! I will try tomorrow happyface

[Heidi]

Sorry about the double post. Laggy internet...


Well, maybe GMA was a genius, maybe not. I miss her, though. I'd fly to Germany right now if it meant she'd cook for me and give me one of those GMA hugs.

Tell me if it works or if it's just family "legend".

[cheerfuldom]

I would say to Dad "oh well, every child is different for milestones" and then ignore all comments. repeat same phrase to him every time and do not offer him any other comments or let him bait you into a discussion about it.

do not do anything else for this child. dont hold her hand unless you need to for safety but also, dont "work" with her on walking. leave her alone. do not let walking become a confrontation between you and her. do not let her parents guilt trip you into practicing with her. its not necessary at all. 16 months and walking, even just beginning walking, is well within the normal range. as long as your child has taken a few steps on their own by 18 months and there are not other physical concerns, no legit doctor would be worried about this scenario.

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/03/9-reasons-not-to-walk-babies/

[craftymissbeth]

I would say to Dad "oh well, every child is different for milestones" and then ignore all comments. repeat same phrase to him every time and do not offer him any other comments or let him bait you into a discussion about it.

do not do anything else for this child. dont hold her hand unless you need to for safety but also, dont "work" with her on walking. leave her alone. do not let walking become a confrontation between you and her. do not let her parents guilt trip you into practicing with her. its not necessary at all. 16 months and walking, even just beginning walking, is well within the normal range. as long as your child has taken a few steps on their own by 18 months and there are not other physical concerns, no legit doctor would be worried about this scenario.

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/03...o-walk-babies/

Exactly what I was thinking. I'm in the middle of reading Your Self Confident Child by Magda Gerber and she insists that we should not help children to do things like roll over, crawl, walk, etc. That it's so important for them to do those things all on their own.

I have to say I agree with her and I'm really loving the RIE philosophy.

[KidGrind]

I am a little different in my approach. I get slick comments and I respond.

My response, “Great that worked out for ________ at ________ Daycare. You are more than welcome to drop off a walking toy with _______ if you think that’ll help her reach the specific walking milestone you’re hoping for.”

My first walked at 14 months. Why walk when your mommy is a ****er and carries you on the hip everywhere?

My second walked at 8 months. He was a heavy baby and mischievous. My hips couldn’t take another hip rider.

My third she walked at 12 months.

It’s your business. Do what you can of course. But I wouldn’t allow a parent’s want for a milestone to occur to motivate me to badger a kid all day about walking.

[melilley]

I am a little different in my approach. I get slick comments and I respond.

My response, “Great that worked out for ________ at ________ Daycare. You are more than welcome to drop off a walking toy with _______ if you think that’ll help her reach the specific walking milestone you’re hoping for.”

My first walked at 14 months. Why walk when your mommy is a ****er and carries you on the hip everywhere?

My second walked at 8 months. He was a heavy baby and mischievous. My hips couldn’t take another hip rider.

My third she walked at 12 months.

It’s your business. Do what you can of course. But I wouldn’t allow a parent’s want for a milestone to occur to motivate me to badger a kid all day about walking.

I can't stand when parents compare! My ds didn't walk until around 16 mo and one of my dcps made a remark about it (her son is 2 wks younger). Now my ds is "trying" to go on the potty (he's 22 mo.) and she's already comparing how they go to the potty. She always thinks her son is behind, which he isn't, and she's a teacher!

[cara041083]

Awesome reading! Thanks.

[Heidi]

Exactly what I was thinking. I'm in the middle of reading Your Self Confident Child by Magda Gerber and she insists that we should not help children to do things like roll over, crawl, walk, etc. That it's so important for them to do those things all on their own.

I have to say I agree with her and I'm really loving the RIE philosophy.

I've studied Magda's work, too. In the early 90,s, I knew a provider who actually studies at RIE.

My personal pet peeve (in this context) is parents who are in such a friggin' hurry for their child to do whatever, that they push things that aren't even developmentally possible. Like "oh, my 2 month old is SO strong! Just look at how she stands".

Ummm...lady, your two month old is not going to be standing on her own for 7 months, at least. Just s l o w it down! Let's consider rolling over first, ok? As a less extreme example, standing up and bouncing kids who aren't even sitting up yet. So, every minute that kiddo isn't being bounced, he's frustrated. Yea!

[cara041083]

I've studied Magda's work, too. In the early 90,s, I knew a provider who actually studies at RIE.

My personal pet peeve (in this context) is parents who are in such a friggin' hurry for their child to do whatever, that they push things that aren't even developmentally possible. Like "oh, my 2 month old is SO strong! Just look at how she stands".

Ummm...lady, your two month old is not going to be standing on her own for 7 months, at least. Just s l o w it down! Let's consider rolling over first, ok? As a less extreme example, standing up and bouncing kids who aren't even sitting up yet. So, every minute that kiddo isn't being bounced, he's frustrated. Yea!

I hear ya. I had one parent wanting to start potty training her 10 month old because she had started messing with her diaper and OMG that was a sign she was ready to learn :: The poor kid couldn't walk or talk yet.

[melilley]

I've studied Magda's work, too. In the early 90,s, I knew a provider who actually studies at RIE.

My personal pet peeve (in this context) is parents who are in such a friggin' hurry for their child to do whatever, that they push things that aren't even developmentally possible. Like "oh, my 2 month old is SO strong! Just look at how she stands".

Ummm...lady, your two month old is not going to be standing on her own for 7 months, at least. Just s l o w it down! Let's consider rolling over first, ok? As a less extreme example, standing up and bouncing kids who aren't even sitting up yet. So, every minute that kiddo isn't being bounced, he's frustrated. Yea!

Oh my word! I have a parent exactly like this! And if he doesn't do something when she thinks he should, she thinks somethings wrong or is behind, wants him evaluated or whatever. Even when what he is doing something that is developmentally appropriate for his age, he should be doing more...

[TaylorTots]

I hear ya. I had one parent wanting to start potty training her 10 month old because she had started messing with her diaper and OMG that was a sign she was ready to learn :: The poor kid couldn't walk or talk yet.

My DS toliet trained at 10 months. It was a fun experiment gone wrong (horrible diaper rash so we were diaper-less and me trying to catch "them"). The first two months were a PAIN in the butt for me, but I was a SAHM with just him for company so it kept me occupied. He would wake up at night to pee 5-6 times because he couldn't hold it that long and wouldn't pee in the diaper. :: I remember our biggest issue was finding a little potty he wouldn't fall through..oh and there were no underwear that small anywhere for the next year of his life (he was super skinny) so I had to sew them. However, my next child potty trained at 3 years because I didn't get involved AT ALL. I learned that lesson the hard way... I would NEVER suggest a parent do what I did with my first..not to mention my potty training policy requires child to be able to communicate before they need to pee/poop in clear words before we talk underwear (ain't doin that again!).

Sorry to ramble, just a fun memory

[taylorw1210]

My first DS walked at 10 months.
Second DS walked at 12 months.
Third DS refused to walk until 18 months. I actually did take him to the Dr. because at that point I was worried something was wrong! A few weeks later he skipped walking and started running. ::

Anyways... it's ridiculous for a parent to blame the daycare provider for the child not walking.