Sorry, Kinda Long

[Mom o Col]

A little while back I posted about an almost 3yo dcg I was considering terming care for. She had some behavior issues such as hitting, pushing, spitting, blowing snot out of her nose when she was angry (and she was quick to anger). I have a small group and the other girls were not wanting to play with her as much as I tried to facilitate that. I was working really hard with her to change these behaviors and starting to make some progress when I discovered that for the second time since the beginning of the year she had head lice. I asked them not to return til she was nit free and in the mean time had a discussion with them and ended care for good. Side note: somehow, none of the other kids had lice this time, thank God. Fast forward: She started going to a new provider this week. I know because I'm facebook friends with her parents (known her dad for years). The new provider has been tagging mom in pictures of dcg at her house all smiles and playful. Her hair is neat and pulled back. Whenever they dropped off here her hair was uncombed, unkempt, to the point it was almost matted. Of course I would "fix" it ( how I discovered the lice both times). Her face is clean in the pictures. It was always dirty when they dropped her off here. Of course I would wash it. In the pics she is dressed in nice, well fitting clothes. Here, she looked like she was dressed from the laundry pile of either an infant or a 5 year old (she's 2- almost 3). As for the smiley, playful demeanor in the pics I'm guessing maybe she's still in the honeymoon phase because the behavior problems didn't appear til she had been here a few months. The rest of it- her appearance- I just don't get why they didn't take such an interest in showing up with her "pulled together" here. I don't know why any of it bothers me. I am glad she isn't here anymore on the one hand. It's so calm and the other girls are getting along amazingly and we are all so relaxed. On the other I feel like a failure that I couldn't make it work.

[cheerfuldom]

Dont feel like a failure! Your job was to provide quality care for her while her parents were at work, which you did do well! You went above and beyond by fixing hair and trying to work through behavioral issues.

It is not your job to bathe kids.
It is not your job to clothe kids.
It is not your job to attend to medical needs.

These are all the parents job! You did nothing wrong in the past situation. Either the parents learned their lesson from you, meaning they are parenting better to avoid losing another daycare provider OR the provider is bathing/clothing/caring for the child for the parents (something she doesnt need to be doing!) OR the parents/provider/child are all in a honeymoon phase and in the next few weeks, things will go back to what they were before. Either way, none of this is your problem or even your business anymore. You did what was best for you and these people are no longer your problem. Do not waste anymore time worrying about this.

[NeedaVaca]

Dont feel like a failure! Your job was to provide quality care for her while her parents were at work, which you did do well! You went above and beyond by fixing hair and trying to work through behavioral issues.

It is not your job to bathe kids.
It is not your job to clothe kids.
It is not your job to attend to medical needs.

These are all the parents job! You did nothing wrong in the past situation. Either the parents learned their lesson from you, meaning they are parenting better to avoid losing another daycare provider OR the provider is bathing/clothing/caring for the child for the parents (something she doesnt need to be doing!) OR the parents/provider/child are all in a honeymoon phase and in the next few weeks, things will go back to what they were before. Either way, none of this is your problem or even your business anymore. You did what was best for you and these people are no longer your problem. Do not waste anymore time worrying about this.

[Shell]

Dont feel like a failure! Your job was to provide quality care for her while her parents were at work, which you did do well! You went above and beyond by fixing hair and trying to work through behavioral issues.

It is not your job to bathe kids.
It is not your job to clothe kids.
It is not your job to attend to medical needs.

These are all the parents job! You did nothing wrong in the past situation. Either the parents learned their lesson from you, meaning they are parenting better to avoid losing another daycare provider OR the provider is bathing/clothing/caring for the child for the parents (something she doesnt need to be doing!) OR the parents/provider/child are all in a honeymoon phase and in the next few weeks, things will go back to what they were before. Either way, none of this is your problem or even your business anymore. You did what was best for you and these people are no longer your problem. Do not waste anymore time worrying about this.

Exactly!

[midaycare]

Facebook is evil Things are never what them seem on there. For all you know, the new daycare person is pulling her hair back and doing it nice, washing her face, etc. And the clothes can still be questionable ... hard to tell in a photo, and I wouldn't post a bad photo online.

Chances are if they didn't make the effort with you, they aren't making it with the new daycare person. If they are, then that's good news for the girl, and hopefully the parents have discovered that keeping hair brushed, neat, up & washed is a great way to prevent head lice.

[llpa]

I also agree w everything said above! Hopefully for their daughter's sake they did learn their lesson!! And you know what? I bet they keep it up for a short while and then go back the way they were. Being lazy with their daughter's personal grooming may be a tough habit to break and really... Don't give them a second of your day by dwelling on it. You did your job!

[Play Care]

A couple of years ago I had to term a sibling group. All day long they cried and whined. Parents were okay but clueless about group care. I suggested either a nanny or center. They went with a nanny, and supposedly it took her two weeks to whip them into shape. They had behaved so terribly here that part of me would have liked to see someone else "quit" on them so I didn't feel so bad.

I'm mostly over it now, because they were just ready for a group care situation. And that's not my fault.