2 Naps to 1 Nap with Mixed Ages

[MCC]

My 13 mo DCB has been struggling with his afternoon nap for the past 3 months. He sleeps from 9-11am with the babies, and then from 1:30-3:30 with the whole group. Here, he takes the 9-11am nap, and I have to wake him up at 11, then by 1:30 he is rubbing his eyes and falling asleep in the playroom, but when we put him in the crib he just does not go to sleep. He will be in there the whole 2 hours playing/singing/etc. We get him up at 3:30 and he is a mess, crying, screaming mess.

DCM says he is doing the two naps at home with no problem, and I believe her. She is pretty annoyed with the naps here b/c when he gets home he is a terror and she struggles to keep him awake until 7:30.

I've tried cutting the morning nap down to 1 hour, and also taking the morning nap away all together, but he still wont sleep in the afternoon. I have him in his own room now, so at least the other kids are sleeping.

I feel like maybe he needs a 12-3 nap, but I'm not willing to do a separate lunch for him, the group eats at 12:30.

It is unreasonable for me to not offer him a mid-day nap? What have you all done when you have one kid that is needing a separate nap schedule? Any tips on how to make this work?

[TwinKristi]

This is a tough one! I had a DCB who used to take 2 naps when he started, 9-11 and 1-2:30ish but that later nap really was a pain as he got older. Not consistent and would screamed for awhile and sometimes didn't nap at all, and also was a bear if he didn't!! I started gradually moving his naps from 9 to 9:30, then 10, then 10:30 until I finally got him to 12 and did one nap time for everyone. Some days he just couldn't make it til 12 (and I couldn't deal with the constant meltdowns...) so I would put him down earlier but it ****ed when I had everyone else asleep and he's awake! He figured it out eventually, but he was probably closer to 18mos then they left when he was 20 mos!

[MCC]

This is a tough one! I had a DCB who used to take 2 naps when he started, 9-11 and 1-2:30ish but that later nap really was a pain as he got older. Not consistent and would screamed for awhile and sometimes didn't nap at all, and also was a bear if he didn't!! I started gradually moving his naps from 9 to 9:30, then 10, then 10:30 until I finally got him to 12 and did one nap time for everyone. Some days he just couldn't make it til 12 (and I couldn't deal with the constant meltdowns...) so I would put him down earlier but it ****ed when I had everyone else asleep and he's awake! He figured it out eventually, but he was probably closer to 18mos then they left when he was 20 mos!

Yeah, him being awake when everyone else is asleep is just not something I'm interested in honestly. You know, he's one, so he destroys the playroom, bangs the pots and pans on things, constantly tries to open the cabinets, (they are locked, but he pulls on them) I just really have no interest in him being awake during the only quiet time of the day.

When did you feed yours lunch? Separate from the others?

[Heidi]

6-18 months or so here, they get a nap 9:00-9:45 (I wake them) and then 12/12:15-3/3:15.

At home, the younger ones still took a nap in the evening, then bed at 8 or so.

So, 13 months, short nap in the am, then a full nap in the afternoon. Wake up early equals play in bed.

I do have one who will party like a rock star when he wakes up (he's 16 months). He will sing, talk, yell, play, sometimes scream (he throws his pacifier...then is mad at it for being over THERE:. He stays put until wake up time because he is in the furthest room, and I'd have to wake others to get to him. He can do 1 nap or 2, doesn't matter...same scenario every afternoon. Happy kiddo, though, in bed or out.

[racemom]

I would either go back to 1 hour or no morning nap and make him stay awake until afternoon nap. We had a 14 month old that really needed a nap at 10:30 but we eat at 11:30 so he had to stay up. Then when we put him down he would stay awake and scream. After a week or so he finally realized that is nap time and now he goes to sleep. It's tough but they do eventually learn to nap when everyone else does.

[Rachel]

If they child will sleep most of the nap with everyone else (getting up at 3 vs. 3:30) and sleeps anyway in a separate room, I would probably just give him a good snack or bottle before going to sleep and put him in the high chair and give him lunch at 3:00 before you get the others up. The other thing you can try is a short morning nap (9 - 9:30), and then putting him down with everyone else in the afternoon, but at that age some kids when they are that tired won't eat well, and then they won't sleep well and be an overtired hungry mess. BTDT the 2 - 1 nap thing is hard.

[Angelsj]

My 13 mo DCB has been struggling with his afternoon nap for the past 3 months. He sleeps from 9-11am with the babies, and then from 1:30-3:30 with the whole group. Here, he takes the 9-11am nap, and I have to wake him up at 11, then by 1:30 he is rubbing his eyes and falling asleep in the playroom, but when we put him in the crib he just does not go to sleep. He will be in there the whole 2 hours playing/singing/etc. We get him up at 3:30 and he is a mess, crying, screaming mess.

DCM says he is doing the two naps at home with no problem, and I believe her. She is pretty annoyed with the naps here b/c when he gets home he is a terror and she struggles to keep him awake until 7:30.

I've tried cutting the morning nap down to 1 hour, and also taking the morning nap away all together, but he still wont sleep in the afternoon. I have him in his own room now, so at least the other kids are sleeping.

I feel like maybe he needs a 12-3 nap, but I'm not willing to do a separate lunch for him, the group eats at 12:30.

It is unreasonable for me to not offer him a mid-day nap? What have you all done when you have one kid that is needing a separate nap schedule? Any tips on how to make this work?

There is a lot of information out there that shows research along the lines of "sleep begets sleep."
I do NOT wake a sleeping child for any reason. If he were here, I would put him down at 9 and let him sleep. Put him down again after lunch (at your 1:30 time) and see what happens. It sounds to me like he is over tired by the second nap and cannot sleep.
My current infant has two naps a day. She sleeps in the kitchen with the vent running for white noise and does just fine. I can see her, the kids play fine (just not in the kitchen) and she sleeps either 2 hours morning and 2 afternoon, or 3 hours one of those naps and 1-2 the other.