Is There a Diplomatic Way...

[childcaremom]

I disagree a bit.....I personally would do what you are doing and not talk to the parents, only because they are not receptive and in fact, if you compare what you both are doing, I don't see that ending in anything but a confrontation. I dont approach parents unless I am insisting things be dealt with or term. For now, I have no problem with a child wasting their own time being stubborn instead of playing. it doesnt sound like her behavior is disruptive so much as annoying.

Yes, this is what I am worried about. I don't expect them to change their parenting style (but wouldn't that be nice!) but I don't expect to change my expectations of their child either. I feel like I am walking a tightrope here. I think a general "your child is developing lots of new skills in daycare" cheery note will work best.

[childcaremom]

It could be that the parents don't expect her to do those things yet so that is why they are not on the same page as you are.

It is this, exactly, together with their parenting style.

[childcaremom]

Just wanted to commiserate. I'm all about crunchy, natural, attached parenting...but...I had a family that did this with their daughter..also just turned two. They would ask her if she wanted to get her coat on, etc..when it was snowing. They'd let her go out without shoes on in the winter, and carry her out. They were very much ' don't tell her no and if she doesn't want to do something we don't make her' types. I don't try and force kids to do stuff, like show affection, but sometimes they need to do what you asked, not b/c you're 'the boss' or need to be in control, but b/c they need shoes on the pavement outside, etc. They termed themselves, b/c mom had her 2nd baby and was staying at home for an extended period. But what I initially thought was a healthy great involvement in their child's life was soon evident to be the granola version of helicoptering. Initially I was thrilled for the involvement b/c my first family and only term was completely uninvolved and let her son run wild w/ no discipline. It got to be pretty ridiculous. She'd get a scratch..DCM would ask what kind of wood the dollhouse was made from..was it painted, treated w/ chemicals, etc. We're talking a tiny scratch...she lives on a farm ..an actual farm..w/animals, and tractor blades,and dirt, etc... Mom was pretty passive aggressive. Towardsthe last couple months, I was counting the days.. Good luck! Just stick to your rules. The dcg would constantly act like she'd forgotten the rules. Especially w/ food. Her parents let her graze allllllll day and never made her sit down w/ food. I did. She'd constantly get up and run off to play wth something, holding food or her cup. It was a constant battle.

Ugh. I bring her to her mom at pick up, tell her about her day, and have to leave right away. I can't stand the back and forth on whether or not she wants to wear a coat, shoes, boots, etc.