Trying Not to Feel Guilty

[kitykids3]

So I found out last May that I have degenerative disc disease and arthritis in my low back and knees. Went to ortho and therapy for a while and was feeling better by Oct. The last few months the pain is back horribly. Can't stand even 15 minutes without pain and spend any time not working pretty much lying down.

Anyways, assistant up and left about 7 weeks ago. I've been having issues getting to a doc, pain mgnt, etc. So finally I have 2 appts on Tuesday so I can get some help again. My substitute is not able to come because her car broke down. So I told parents I am closing and taking a paid personal day. One mom says "i don't know what I'll do, I've used up all my days already." She came in everyday this week in jeans after moving into her new house on sat so I know why she has no days left. I almost told her I'll reschedule my appts, but quickly decided not to because I can't go any longer like this and instead told her I need to go get some help for the pain or pretty soon I'll be calling off because I can't move from it. I know a couple other parents have to figure something out, and it is in my policies to have backup available, but why do I still feel guilty?? Especially when I have been letting my health go, to work 10 hour days with no breaks because I have 2 infants along with the other kiddos. I shouldn't, why do I?

Thanks for letting me rant/vent/question.

[spud912]

Ugh....don't feel guilty! Do what YOU need to do, your families will always figure something out.

[Cradle2crayons]

So I found out last May that I have degenerative disc disease and arthritis in my low back and knees. Went to ortho and therapy for a while and was feeling better by Oct. The last few months the pain is back horribly. Can't stand even 15 minutes without pain and spend any time not working pretty much lying down.

Anyways, assistant up and left about 7 weeks ago. I've been having issues getting to a doc, pain mgnt, etc. So finally I have 2 appts on Tuesday so I can get some help again. My substitute is not able to come because her car broke down. So I told parents I am closing and taking a paid personal day. One mom says "i don't know what I'll do, I've used up all my days already." She came in everyday this week in jeans after moving into her new house on sat so I know why she has no days left. I almost told her I'll reschedule my appts, but quickly decided not to because I can't go any longer like this and instead told her I need to go get some help for the pain or pretty soon I'll be calling off because I can't move from it. I know a couple other parents have to figure something out, and it is in my policies to have backup available, but why do I still feel guilty?? Especially when I have been letting my health go, to work 10 hour days with no breaks because I have 2 infants along with the other kiddos. I shouldn't, why do I?

Thanks for letting me rant/vent/question.

Awe dang....:hug::hug:

Don't feel guilty... Get the help you need. If parents have a problem with it, oh well. It's not like you are going for a spa day.

I also see ortho and pain management and my parents are very very supportive. I take one with me and the rest schedule around me becUse I give them as much notice as possible.

:hug:

[mia]

I know how you feel I have the same thing degenerative disc disease and bulging disc lower L5. It locks and catches at the worse of times and is not good when you can not move at all.....

DO NOT feel guilty for you need your back. Would they rather you close right down because you could not move at all or would they rather you get the help and or meds to ease the pain so that you can keep caring for their children.....

The only thing that has worked for me is meds and exercise, was told that if that doesn't help or relieve some of the pain that the next thing is surgery.... As of right now I watch what I do for activities ( bending , racking, shoveling, sweeping, mopping ) it all has to be done very slowly or I get my kids to do it since they are now old enough.....

Take it easy and don't feel guilty

[NoMoreJuice!]

Sorry you're in pain. Don't feel bad at all about the parents...they'll all manage, they always do. Good luck, and hope you find some relief!

[melilley]

Awwww:hug:

I usually feel bad if I have to close too (well I feel bad for a couple of families). Don't ask why, but I do.
But then I see them taking days off or making comments on how much they have to get done at home or doing whatever while their kids are here and I'm starting to feel less and less bad. We need to take care of ourselves too.

[CraftyMom]

Your health comes first.

I know what you mean though, too often I have rescheduled appts to be accommodating. Not any more. They are required to have a backup for these reasons. If they don't it is not your fault.

I like to remind parents of their "back up plan policy" when I give notice of a day off, such as "I will be closed on XXXX, it would be a good idea to get your back up plan in place now". This reminds them before they even say anything that a back up is required

[Naptime yet?]

Dcps have no qualms about taking "me" days, you are in pain & it's affecting your job, what's DCM going to do when you have to close because of your pain?

I'm sorry, I tend to be passive-aggressive, if my dcps couldn't understand why I had to close to go to a crucial dr's appt. I would say that..and if they pulled, then goodbye.