How Strict Are You?

[BentleysBands]

and be honest....how hard are you on your dck's?

i treat all mine equally and the same as my own. i run a FAMILY based childcare not a center style daycare. i'm more lient (sp?) on my dck's than some i have read about here and elsewhere. Now if the need arises , yes, i can be stern and loud ::

i guess sometimes what i read about i truly am shocked and would hate to be a child there...i also think IMO that sometimes people arent as true about what they 'really' do or dont do.

like what are your disciplining techniques ?

I use timeout of course, but we all know it doesnt work normally...
i remove from activity and sit them on the couch, corner sometimes or call mom/dad if necessary...normally a firm NO is all they need. i do have a dcb,2, who i will put to bed if before 2pm cuz he's just tired and acts out more

[laundrymom]

honestly,.. Im fairly strict. With my rules,.. I mean. I do have different rules than their parents. I dont allow hitting, or anything like it, I also dont allow them to jump on furniture, throw themselves to the floor in a tantrum (it does happen but right at that moment I say stop, help them stand up, help them walk to a yellow chair, Help them sit down, and tell them that after they are finished being ugly, I will talk about how they need to act. Then I walk away. ) They must say,.. "May I , Thank You, Excuse me, ) They are not made to say Im sorry,.. because lets face it,.. they arent. They dont care, they only care about saying the obligatory phrase to get on with their day. We ask to use the bathroom, we never take down gates , we dont open doors, or fences unless we have walked to Miss Jill, held her hand, said,.. Miss Jill May I,.... whatever the request is. I have them come to me,.. take my hand,.. and I respond by kneeling,.. asking them how may I help you,.. they respond with,.. May I go potty,.. and I say Yes you may,.. or In just a minute you may someone is in there right now. Its not so much a control thing but I want to be sure they know,.. I need to SEE HEAR AND RESPOND to them if they are going out of my sight. I tell them "because what if the leaf truck comes and I cant find you to run to the window? You will miss that!!!!" (or the snow plow, or the street sweeper, or a really big tractor) Anything to get them to mot be afraid,.. but realize its a serious thing, because NO 3 yr old wants to miss something cool happening, )
The easiest way for me to do that is to have them take my hand, and get right on their level. They seem to like it because alot of times they come to me and take my hand,.. to have me kneel and they say,.. I love you,.. then its convenient because Im right there for a fast hug and then they are on their way. I think they like that brief moment when they have my undivided attention. Although I did have one girl who took my hand, we got real close and she said,.. Miss Jill,.. Your hair paint is coming out of your hair,... Mommy has paint if you need it. . (I guess Mommy colored her hair the night before, )

Here they know that I never change, Im always the same, and I cant be bought off with cute grins, hugs or sweet words. We only have 2 rules here, be nice, and use your manners. That pretty much covers everything.

and be honest....how hard are you on your dck's?

i treat all mine equally and the same as my own. i run a FAMILY based childcare not a center style daycare. i'm more lient (sp?) on my dck's than some i have read about here and elsewhere. Now if the need arises , yes, i can be stern and loud ::

i guess sometimes what i read about i truly am shocked and would hate to be a child there...i also think IMO that sometimes people arent as true about what they 'really' do or dont do.

like what are your disciplining techniques ?

I use timeout of course, but we all know it doesnt work normally...
i remove from activity and sit them on the couch, corner sometimes or call mom/dad if necessary...normally a firm NO is all they need. i do have a dcb,2, who i will put to bed if before 2pm cuz he's just tired and acts out more

[DancingQueen]

I'm strict, fun and loving.
I have a lot of rules and I enforce them but I'm not a meanie. The rules are there for their safety and mine. I love my daycare kids.

But in all fairness I'm pretty strict with my own children. I expect a lot from them. Funny thing is - when you expect a lot from children they rarely dissappoint.

[WImom]

I'd have to say I'm the same as Dancing Queen. I also think with me being a preschool, I'm getting the kids ready for K4. They need to learn routine and rules. I rarely do time outs, I like to use redirection. I use alot of good choices/bad choices.

[DCMom]

Define 'strict' , .

I have high expectations and very few rules. The kids (mine and clients) know the behavior I expect from them and they meet the goal 98% of the time. Consequences are few and far between here ~ mostly because they know that I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

So if that is strict, then yeah, I guess I'm strict. But they love me for it

[Unregistered]

As strict as I'm forced to be

I am as strict as I have to be to make sure that the children in my care follow the rules and treat one another well. I have high expectations from my daycare kids and I expect them to be able to follow the rules in my house. If they make good choices, then I don't need to be strict at all. If they make poor choices, then I have to be strict. I am firm, but fair. The children always know that they are loved here, no matter what choices they make. They also know that when they break the rules, then there is going to be a consequence. I don't give warnings or second chances. I give them enough time to be familiar with what I expect from them and then if they break a rule, then they deal with the consequence. It's cause and effect and it works. I very seldom ever have to give a TO.

[MyAngels]

I'm a firm believer that children will do what you expect them to do, and I have high expectations - so am I strict? I would say yes, but if you talk to the majority of children I've cared for over the years, as well as my own children, they would say no. I guess I just have a knack for getting the behaviour that I want without having to be too punitive in the process.

[SandeeAR]

I am a family day care too. I treat the children like they were my own. Therefore, I probably expect more from them, than thier parents do. My kids are adults, so I've been there and done that and know they can do more!

Am I strict yes. I expect manners and politeness and the rules followed. I expect them to respect my home and furnishings and the others in the home.

At this point, I don't have a lot of discipline problems, due to the age of my kids. The 2 1/2 y/o is testing the limits, of course, the 11 month old understands the word NO and responds wonderful to it, the 7 month old, is learning what NO means, and the 3 month old, is just to young to do anything to be trouble yet LOL.

I redirect, use time out and....(don't flame me here, b/c I know I'm in the minority), but yes, I spank when necessary. This is with TOTAL agreement with the parents. All of which spank as I do, As a last resort on MAJOR things.....like when the 2 y/o tried to climb up on my glass top dining table and would have hurt herself.

[Blackcat31]

I think I was a lot tougher on my own children when they were young and in daycare with me because I KNEW they knew better. I have certain expectations about the behaviors of the dck's here and most of those expectations are because as a group things must go a certain way. What is okay at home doesn't always fly here. The kids know that and act accordingly. I have very few rules like other pp said but have high expectations. I do not have rules about manners and saying please and thank you etc...those are expectations...you don't say them, we don't respond. I also use a lot of redirection. If you can't play blocks (or whatever toys) nicely, you don't play. period. I do NOT have time to figure out who had what first. They are expected to figure that out and everyone plays nicely or no one plays at all. When you leave the figuring out up to them, it is amazing how fast they work things out!

[Live and Learn]

DC MOM and I sound similar in our philosophy.
but I think my program is different from many on this forum. My own kids are s/a. I only keep up to 4 teacher's kids and they are only here 8 hours a day. NO sa only infant to age 4.This eliminates most problems for me.....because I have such a small group it is easy for me to nip things in the bud before the behavior escalates to hitting, biting, fighting and so on. in six years of doing this I have never had a biter and only one hitter (lil guy hitting his big sis once). I don't do timeouts more redirection. I have very few rules: no running, throwing, or yelling inside. No gun play...never had this come up though. no grabbing toys from someone else's hands.....if you don't share MY TOYS than you don't get to play with them yourself. no getting up on my sofas and chairs unless invited by me.

I AM VERY STRICT WITH MY NAP SCHEDULE. I want my lil ankle biters well rested so that I don't get that tired acting out behavior.

I am sure I have a couple more rules...just basic common sense....I don't have to redirect very much at all. I like to get them when they are young and raise them up to be well behaved sweet lil people. I don't do anything less than full time because I have found in the past that these are the children who are the most disruptive to my system.

parents tell me thar I am very laid back. I think that is true but I have a system that I have improved on over the years that works well for me and my dc kids.

[MommyMuffin]

I have been thinking about this lately. Am I being too harsh? And then I realize that I treat my own kid the same and of course she is a doll. most of the time.
I have rules, I dont yell but I do use stern voices, "dont touch that" "hands to yourself" "you cannot have more X until you try Y" I thought I would be a little mush ball but when the kids came I reallized that it was nature for me to treat them as my own.
I dont really know what you have read on this forum to be strict or too harsh. I am trying to not sound so harsh...I am a work in progress I guess.

[Unregistered]

I'm a big meanie when I need to be...but all the kids are happy to see me and the Mom's and Dad's all say how much their children have blossomed here so...it seems to be working.

I agree with the rest who say that kids have a way of living up to the expectations that are set for them!

I also believe that 99.9% of the kids I will EVER meet are free from all forms of syndromes, mental illness, or disorders!

[Unregistered]

Strict is relative...

and be honest....how hard are you on your dck's?

i treat all mine equally and the same as my own. i run a FAMILY based childcare not a center style daycare. i'm more lient (sp?) on my dck's than some i have read about here and elsewhere. Now if the need arises , yes, i can be stern and loud ::

i guess sometimes what i read about i truly am shocked and would hate to be a child there...i also think IMO that sometimes people arent as true about what they 'really' do or dont do.

like what are your disciplining techniques ?

I use timeout of course, but we all know it doesnt work normally...
i remove from activity and sit them on the couch, corner sometimes or call mom/dad if necessary...normally a firm NO is all they need. i do have a dcb,2, who i will put to bed if before 2pm cuz he's just tired and acts out more

What are the approaches that are shocking to you?

Also, as far as the providers who seem to have it together, instead of doubting that it's true, consider the amount of time that the provider has been doing her job. I've been doing this for over 6 years and I have a good deal of success. What I do is effective. If I had been aasked that question when I first began, I couldn't have answered it the same way. It's a learning process.

[Crystal]

I am lucky to have mostly very well-behaved children. Actually, I guess it's not luck, so much as the effort and time I, and their parents, have put forth to ensre that they are.

My group has all been with me since they were infants. I start from day one "teaching" what is and isn't appropriate. I use redirection " I cannot let you throw blocks, but I can let you throw balls, lets get some balls to throw if you still want to throw" OR limited choice...for instance time to go inside for lunch, child refuses, I say "you have a choice. you can go inside and get ready for lunch on your own, or I can help you go inside and get ready" usually they want to take control, so they will do it themselves, if they don't I would pick them and say I gave you a choice and you chose not to do it yourself, so now I am going to help you" I would carry him inside, help him wash up and sit him at the table. I lso use positive reinforcment when I "catch" them doing something good or right.

Do I raise my voice sometimes? Yes. Do I get irritated sometimes? Yes. Do I lose it sometimes? No, because when I feel myself getting to the point that I might lose control, I walk away and take a break from it. Happens VERY rarely, but I think we all have those days where they all just have pushed buttons and we've had enough.

But, Bentley...you have raised a VERY good point, and I agree that I would not want to be a child in some of the programs of the providers I have met via this forum....geez, some of the things that some are actually willing to openly voice on a public forum, I can only imagine the things they DON'T talk about.

[Crystal]

I am a family day care too. I treat the children like they were my own. Therefore, I probably expect more from them, than thier parents do. My kids are adults, so I've been there and done that and know they can do more!

Am I strict yes. I expect manners and politeness and the rules followed. I expect them to respect my home and furnishings and the others in the home.

At this point, I don't have a lot of discipline problems, due to the age of my kids. The 2 1/2 y/o is testing the limits, of course, the 11 month old understands the word NO and responds wonderful to it, the 7 month old, is learning what NO means, and the 3 month old, is just to young to do anything to be trouble yet LOL.

I redirect, use time out and....(don't flame me here, b/c I know I'm in the minority), but yes, I spank when necessary. This is with TOTAL agreement with the parents. All of which spank as I do, As a last resort on MAJOR things.....like when the 2 y/o tried to climb up on my glass top dining table and would have hurt herself.

Okay, I don't want to flame you....I actually really like you and respect your contribution to this forum. However, I have to ask....are you licensed? I don't see licensing allowing spanking in daycare homes or centers.

And, out of curiousity, how did you brooch the subject of spanking with your daycare parents without fear that thye would have a completely different philosophy than you and report you to the county?