Is This Too Harsh...

[dcm]

...To Send To Our Parents?

"To All Parents,

Unfortunately we are going to ask all parents now to please leave personal items at home or in the car. We have far too many children showing up with toys and/or blankets from home. Even though you may think that your children rely on these items for a source of comfort, please trust us in the fact, that they don't. The children at daycare, are too engrossed in their toys and the other "friends". These items can be a cause of disagreements and jealousy among the children, resulting in us removing the items from the children. We have come to the conclusion that it is unfair for parents to expect that we should have to be "the bad guys" and remove their favorite toy, when this is a parents job and you need to remove it from the child's hands at home or in the car. Starting on Tuesday April 22, any items brought to the door with the child, with be given to the parents to take back with them when they leave for their car. If at that point the child is too distressed for their parents to take away their "lovey", you will be asked to take your child back with you. I am sorry that this has come out so strict and harsh, but our efforts to enact this policy., have come in vain so far. If there is a specific toy and/or blanket that your child needs for naptime, then a "copy" of it will need to be left at the day home and will be put in their "napping" bag, and only brought out for the child to see during nap time. We thank you for your cooperation in this matter."

[SilverSabre25]

...To Send To Our Parents?

"To All Parents,

Unfortunately we are going to ask all parents now to please leave personal items at home or in the car. We have far too many children showing up with toys and/or blankets from home. Even though you may think that your children rely on these items for a source of comfort, please trust us in the fact, that they don't. The children at daycare, are too engrossed in their toys and the other "friends". These items can be a cause of disagreements and jealousy among the children, resulting in us removing the items from the children. We have come to the conclusion that it is unfair for parents to expect that we should have to be "the bad guys" and remove their favorite toy, when this is a parents job and you need to remove it from the child's hands at home or in the car. Starting on Tuesday April 22, any items brought to the door with the child, with be given to the parents to take back with them when they leave for their car. If at that point the child is too distressed for their parents to take away their "lovey", you will be asked to take your child back with you. I am sorry that this has come out so strict and harsh, but our efforts to enact this policy., have come in vain so far. If there is a specific toy and/or blanket that your child needs for naptime, then a "copy" of it will need to be left at the day home and will be put in their "napping" bag, and only brought out for the child to see during nap time. We thank you for your cooperation in this matter."

I'd take out the bolded parts.

[dcm]

I'd take out the bolded parts.

Those are the sentences my husband and I were worried about.
What is the reason you would take out the "sorry this has come out so strict and harsh..." sentence?
Also, is it okay to say that the parents will have to take the child back with them for the day, if they choose to wait until the door, to remove the items from the child, and if the child becomes too distressed? (The sentence before the "strict and harsh" sentence).

[Crazy8]

I would take some of the emotion out of it as silver mentioned. I am assuming you already have a no toys from home policy but people aren't respecting it? I would then just reiterate the policy and tell parents that due to recent issues it will be strictly enforced going forward.
Less is more sometimes, just give the facts of the policy and a brief description of how it will happen (handing back to parent) and leave it at that.

[SilverSabre25]

You don't want to apologize for the policy you're making. Because you're not really sorry....you want control over this annoying situation.

The other sentance you mentioned is....eh, iffy, I'd say. If you want that to be your policy then you do need to spell it out. But I personally wouldn't make that policy because the kid really does need to learn to be without the object.

Now, I think you could say that if a child is too upset then the parents MAY be called for pick up if the child doesn't calm down within a reasonable time frame (and you don't have to specify the time frame).

Years ago I had a little boy, C, who became attached to a HUGE blanket. He was... I forget. Just over a year? 15 months? Something like that. Mom finally cut it down to a manageable size but the kid dragged it everywhere. He wouldn't play, he just clung to that blanket. It got worse and worse and I started taking it away and putting it up until nap. He got more attached, and more distraught at the removal of the blankie with each passing week. I posted about it here way back when and got lambasted by an unreg poster for taking away a baby's blankie (Maybe C was 18 months...?) but he wanted it at the table, too. He would cling to it instead of eating! I should have termed him. But was pregnant and couldn't afford it. His mom was pg to and went on maternity leave and they just never came back. I was glad. It was so stressful having to manage his distress over that stupid blanket. Honestly I think he had some sort of anxiety disorder, because his behavior was NOT normal.

[dcm]

We have a six page parent handbook, but unfortunately " items from home" policy was never included. I honestly didn't think to add it, when I wrote the policies. How could I word that, short and sweet??
Our main issue is the blankie's that are brought in. As soon as the parents drive off, we remove them and the child doesn't even notice. We have said this to the parents about three times each now, but they insist that their child doesn't want to let the blankie go. This is why the "harshness" and the "emotion" has come into what we wrote...we feel disrespected, by the fact that the parents obviously refuse to trust us and listen to us. The parents at fault for this, are older, not old old, but probably late 30's, early 40's. Whereas my husband and I are early 30's, we feel that they think we are young, and probably shouldn't tell them what to do. Well we have four children, so I think we know a thing or two. I mean if they don't trust our judgement, they should remove their child, no?

[Blackcat31]

We have a six page parent handbook, but unfortunately " items from home" policy was never included. I honestly didn't think to add it, when I wrote the policies. How could I word that, short and sweet??
Our main issue is the blankie's that are brought in. As soon as the parents drive off, we remove them and the child doesn't even notice. We have said this to the parents about three times each now, but they insist that their child doesn't want to let the blankie go. This is why the "harshness" and the "emotion" has come into what we wrote...we feel disrespected, by the fact that the parents obviously refuse to trust us and listen to us. The parents at fault for this, are older, not old old, but probably late 30's, early 40's. Whereas my husband and I are early 30's, we feel that they think we are young, and probably shouldn't tell them what to do. Well we have four children, so I think we know a thing or two. I mean if they don't trust our judgement, they should remove their child, no?

I do NOT allow toys to be brought in from home. ALL toys stay in the car. If they enter my home, they become MY property.

Parents KNOW this upfront.

As for blankets and lovies for napping...they are allowed but are to be brought in BY the parent NOT the child and placed in the child's basket until nap time.

At nap time, the child is allowed to have their blanket but once nap time is over, the blanket goes straight back to their basket

My reasons for not allowing a blanket to be used at any other time is that it is unsanitary and I do not want MORE germs than I already have being drug through house.

I don't allow a child to carry their blanket in because that is where the control issues comes into play. The child "has" possession of it and thinks that you are being mean by taking it away. If they aren't carrying it or in possession of it, there is usually no issue. Unless the parent allows the child to hold it in the car.

...which I NOT my problem...if the child comes in screaming because the parent removed the blanket upon entering, I will ask them to return to their car and come back in when the child is settled down.

I spend an extraordinary amount of time buying and supplying age appropriate toys and activities. There is absolutely NO reason a child NEEDS to bring anything from home.

I refuse to be responsible for them and do NOT want a parent upset that one got broke or is missing. I also do not want to deal with the issues of sharing.

Here, ALL the toys are mine but I will happily share them with the kids.

[dcm]

My husband wrote this....
I think it does sound more professional and less emotional, what do you think?


To All Parents,

Due to recent events, we feel that it is time to revise our policies and include "items brought from home". We will no longer be accepting items brought from home, please leave these items at home or in the car. We have far too many children showing up with toys and/or blankets from home. It is creating too much discord amongst the children, jealousy of others and the not wanting to share from the child it belongs to. The truth is that your child does not need the item with him/her at all. Once they are in the home, they go and play with others. The issue arises only if someone else goes for that said item. Then the jealousy kicks in and nobody wants to share toys anymore, which creates a lot of fights for us to deal with. We feel that it is not our position to be the bad guys and have to be the ones who take the items away.

Starting on Tuesday April 22, any items brought to the door with the child, will be given to the parents to take back with them, when they leave for their car. If you feel that your child is too distressed to be without the item, then you will need to return to the car with your child, until you feel that they can be without the item. We can assure you that once you place your children in our care and among their friends, they do not have a need or a long for the "item". If you trust us, your child will be just fine, all we ask, is that for the parents to be the one, to remove the item from now on.

If there is a specific toy and/or blanket that your child needs for naptime, then a "copy" of it will need to be left at the day home and will be put in their "napping" bag, and only brought out for the child to see during nap time.

Failure to follow these policies and procedures, may result in immediate termination of care, as it is written in the handbook. We thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

[NeedaVaca]

My husband wrote this....
I think it does sound more professional and less emotional, what do you think?


To All Parents,

Due to recent events, we feel that it is time to revise our policies and include "items brought from home". We will no longer be accepting items brought from home, please leave these items at home or in the car. We have far too many children showing up with toys and/or blankets from home. It is creating too much discord amongst the children, jealousy of others and the not wanting to share from the child it belongs to. The truth is that your child does not need the item with him/her at all. Once they are in the home, they go and play with others. The issue arises only if someone else goes for that said item. Then the jealousy kicks in and nobody wants to share toys anymore, which creates a lot of fights for us to deal with. We feel that it is not our position to be the bad guys and have to be the ones who take the items away.

Starting on Tuesday April 22, any items brought to the door with the child, will be given to the parents to take back with them, when they leave for their car. If you feel that your child is too distressed to be without the item, then you will need to return to the car with your child, until you feel that they can be without the item. We can assure you that once you place your children in our care and among their friends, they do not have a need or a long for the "item". If you trust us, your child will be just fine, all we ask, is that for the parents to be the one, to remove the item from now on.

If there is a specific toy and/or blanket that your child needs for naptime, then a "copy" of it will need to be left at the day home and will be put in their "napping" bag, and only brought out for the child to see during nap time.

Failure to follow these policies and procedures, may result in immediate termination of care, as it is written in the handbook. We thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

You need to edit more, still too wordy IMO. You also contradict by saying you don't want to be the one taking it away BUT if they come to your door you will be the one giving it back to the parents. I would scale this way back. Just give the specifics

[Laurel]

My husband wrote this....
I think it does sound more professional and less emotional, what do you think?


To All Parents,

Due to recent events, we feel that it is time to revise our policies and include "items brought from home". We will no longer be accepting items brought from home, please leave these items at home or in the car. We have far too many children showing up with toys and/or blankets from home. It is creating too much discord amongst the children, jealousy of others and the not wanting to share from the child it belongs to. The truth is that your child does not need the item with him/her at all. Once they are in the home, they go and play with others. The issue arises only if someone else goes for that said item. Then the jealousy kicks in and nobody wants to share toys anymore, which creates a lot of fights for us to deal with. We feel that it is not our position to be the bad guys and have to be the ones who take the items away.

Starting on Tuesday April 22, any items brought to the door with the child, will be given to the parents to take back with them, when they leave for their car. If you feel that your child is too distressed to be without the item, then you will need to return to the car with your child, until you feel that they can be without the item. We can assure you that once you place your children in our care and among their friends, they do not have a need or a long for the "item". If you trust us, your child will be just fine, all we ask, is that for the parents to be the one, to remove the item from now on.

If there is a specific toy and/or blanket that your child needs for naptime, then a "copy" of it will need to be left at the day home and will be put in their "napping" bag, and only brought out for the child to see during nap time.

Failure to follow these policies and procedures, may result in immediate termination of care, as it is written in the handbook. We thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Sounds very fair to me.

Laurel

[cheerfuldom]

My husband wrote this....
I think it does sound more professional and less emotional, what do you think?


To All Parents,

Due to recent events, we feel that it is time to revise our policies and include "items brought from home". We will no longer be accepting items brought from home, please leave these items at home or in the car. We have far too many children showing up with toys and/or blankets from home. It is creating too much discord amongst the children, jealousy of others and the not wanting to share from the child it belongs to. The truth is that your child does not need the item with him/her at all. Once they are in the home, they go and play with others. The issue arises only if someone else goes for that said item. Then the jealousy kicks in and nobody wants to share toys anymore, which creates a lot of fights for us to deal with. We feel that it is not our position to be the bad guys and have to be the ones who take the items away.

Starting on Tuesday April 22, any items brought to the door with the child, will be given to the parents to take back with them, when they leave for their car. If you feel that your child is too distressed to be without the item, then you will need to return to the car with your child, until you feel that they can be without the item. We can assure you that once you place your children in our care and among their friends, they do not have a need or a long for the "item". If you trust us, your child will be just fine, all we ask, is that for the parents to be the one, to remove the item from now on.

If there is a specific toy and/or blanket that your child needs for naptime, then a "copy" of it will need to be left at the day home and will be put in their "napping" bag, and only brought out for the child to see during nap time.

Failure to follow these policies and procedures, may result in immediate termination of care, as it is written in the handbook. We thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

I would delete the bolded. You dont need to apologize or validate your policy and more than likely, the parents wont even ask for you to do that. Less is more. If a parent asks, keep the reply simple "We found the items from home were upsetting children and causing too much discord." The letter should be we are doing X now starting on Y date and if you dont follow the rule Z will happen. period and done. dont feel you have to reason everything.

[Blackcat31]

My handbook says:

Please do not allow your child to bring toys or items from home. I have spent an enormous amount of time purchasing developmentally appropriate and educational toys/activities for the children in my care.

When items are brought from home, it can cause undue stress and anxiety for a child. Any item brought into the child care home becomes my responsibility, so please make sure ALL toys/items from home remain in your vehicle so they do not pose an issue here.

Occasionally a child may be invited to bring something from home for sharing purposes. In these situations, items need to be clearly marked with child's name. These items should also be handed directly to the provider and will then be returned directly from provider to parent upon pick up.


The rest is discussed during the interview.

OP since you already have these families in care why not just say something like:

Dear DCP's

Beginning Monday April 21, 2014 items from home will NOT be allowed to be brought into daycare. Please keep ALL personal belongings at home or in your car.

This has become an issue and will no longer be tolerated.

If you have any questions, please feel free to arrange a time in which we can discuss this.

Thank you for working with us to make your child care experience a positive one.

Sincerely

Providers.

[Leigh]

I would delete the bolded. You dont need to apologize or validate your policy and more than likely, the parents wont even ask for you to do that. Less is more. If a parent asks, keep the reply simple "We found the items from home were upsetting children and causing too much discord." The letter should be we are doing X now starting on Y date and if you dont follow the rule Z will happen. period and done. dont feel you have to reason everything.

[taylorw1210]

My handbook says:

Please do not allow your child to bring toys or items from home. I have spent an enormous amount of time purchasing developmentally appropriate and educational toys/activities for the children in my care.

When items are brought from home, it can cause undue stress and anxiety for a child. Any item brought into the child care home becomes my responsibility, so please make sure ALL toys/items from home remain in your vehicle so they do not pose an issue here.

Occasionally a child may be invited to bring something from home for sharing purposes. In these situations, items need to be clearly marked with child's name. These items should also be handed directly to the provider and will then be returned directly from provider to parent upon pick up.


The rest is discussed during the interview.

OP since you already have these families in care why not just say something like:

Dear DCP's

Beginning Monday April 21, 2014 items from home will NOT be allowed to be brought into daycare. Please keep ALL personal belongings at home or in your car.

This has become an issue and will no longer be tolerated.

If you have any questions, please feel free to arrange a time in which we can discuss this.

Thank you for working with us to make your child care experience a positive one.

Sincerely

Providers.

Your previous letters were too wordy. This one is perfect - short, but firm and to the point.

[craftymissbeth]

Honestly, I didn't read very far into your letters, OP. I think when parents are faced with too many words and a big wall of black letters they get overwhelmed and simply don't read it. This is an important issue for you so you want to make sure they actually read and understand it. I really like Blackcat's letter... very direct and to the point. If a parent wants to know the reason for the policy change then you can always do that verbally, kwim?

My handbook says:

Please do not allow your child to bring toys or items from home. I have spent an enormous amount of time purchasing developmentally appropriate and educational toys/activities for the children in my care.

When items are brought from home, it can cause undue stress and anxiety for a child. Any item brought into the child care home becomes my responsibility, so please make sure ALL toys/items from home remain in your vehicle so they do not pose an issue here.

Occasionally a child may be invited to bring something from home for sharing purposes. In these situations, items need to be clearly marked with child's name. These items should also be handed directly to the provider and will then be returned directly from provider to parent upon pick up.


The rest is discussed during the interview.

OP since you already have these families in care why not just say something like:

Dear DCP's

Beginning Monday April 21, 2014 items from home will NOT be allowed to be brought into daycare. Please keep ALL personal belongings at home or in your car.

This has become an issue and will no longer be tolerated.

If you have any questions, please feel free to arrange a time in which we can discuss this.

Thank you for working with us to make your child care experience a positive one.

Sincerely

Providers.