Some Kids I'd Pay To Have Attend And Then...

[Josiegirl]

Spring break has been an eye-(re)opener as to how each child is so different. I had 2 dcgs, ages 10 and 11 the first 3 days and I think if I could keep them, I'd pay THEM. But then I have a set of siblings that I feel if the dcps paid me 4x what I get, it still wouldn't be enough. Problem is I kinda have to keep the siblings.

Why are some kids so helpful, so 'follow the rules', so sweet to the little ones. Then you've got the kids who 'rules? what rules?' And if you put them in time out, they sit there, mock you, stick their tongue out at you, think every dang thing is funny such as the middle finger(coming from a 6 yo dcb), or sit on the floor and howl because they still need snowpants and refuse to cooperate in any way whatsoever(from his 3 yo sister). And if you try to help them they scream and scream and scream?
Oh and then there's the 7 yo dcg who is fine for 5 minutes but then she's bored and sulks the rest of the day. Even though she begged to come to dc?
I can already tell it's gonna be a very long summer.

[coolconfidentme]

They sit there, mock you, stick their tongue out at you, think every dang thing is funny such as the middle finger because it's acceptable behavior in their world.

I had 3 SAd from the same family last summer. 2 DCGs were amazing, but the DCB was a nightmare. I made him mind & it was a struggle everyday. I wouldn't let him hid in his iPod playing Mindcraft either. He refused to come to DC & told his mom I was too mean. When she questioned me about my treatment of him I termed the whole family. I did need her money, but not her drama. (she let him dictate to her) It actually opened the door for more little ones, who I just adore!

[Laurel]

Spring break has been an eye-(re)opener as to how each child is so different. I had 2 dcgs, ages 10 and 11 the first 3 days and I think if I could keep them, I'd pay THEM. But then I have a set of siblings that I feel if the dcps paid me 4x what I get, it still wouldn't be enough. Problem is I kinda have to keep the siblings.

Why are some kids so helpful, so 'follow the rules', so sweet to the little ones. Then you've got the kids who 'rules? what rules?' And if you put them in time out, they sit there, mock you, stick their tongue out at you, think every dang thing is funny such as the middle finger(coming from a 6 yo dcb), or sit on the floor and howl because they still need snowpants and refuse to cooperate in any way whatsoever(from his 3 yo sister). And if you try to help them they scream and scream and scream?
Oh and then there's the 7 yo dcg who is fine for 5 minutes but then she's bored and sulks the rest of the day. Even though she begged to come to dc?
I can already tell it's gonna be a very long summer.

Why do you have to keep the siblings?

I had a baby and kept the school aged sibling a couple of times but he was a nightmare. I told the mom (knowing I could possibly lose baby) that I couldn't take the SA anymore because it was too hard to do babies with school agers. I just said things like he needs to be outside more when I can't stay out that long with the little ones and I just have baby toys here, etc. Basically that I can't be doing two things at once. This particular child was VERY active. She didn't pull. Just said okay that it was fine. She KNEW he was a pain in the butt.

I don't do school age in the summer or anytime anymore unless it is a real sweetheart like the brother of a dcg I have now. I used to watch him when he was a baby. He is great. I wouldn't do the summer with him though. Just an occasional day for the right child. There is no way a child is going to be sticking out his tongue at me and stay at my house all day.

Did you tell mom about their behavior? Maybe you could tell her and put them on probation.

Laurel

[cheerfuldom]

I would not spend all summer hating my job....or keeping kids that do rude or obscene things. no way!

[Blackcat31]

I would not spend all summer hating my job....or keeping kids that do rude or obscene things. no way!

AGREE!

....and if a child...A CHILD!.... gave me the middle finger, I'd be calling his parents for IMMEDIATE pick up!

Basically he is telling you to "F off!"

No flippin' way I would tolerate that kind of blatant disrespect in my home by a child. The parents should be mortified!


TBH, ^^^^ that is why they do it..... because no one has reacted harsh enough to let him know that it is unacceptable behavior. If the consequence is correct, the behavior stops.


Josiegirl...... (((hugs))) I really hope you are letting these parents know how wrong their child's behavior is.

Please don't allow such naught, disrespectful children/parents ruin your summer. lovethis

[Josiegirl]

Why do I have to keep them? Plain and simple I need the paycheck. I haven't had a call in months and I'm still down 1 FT from the fall. I've lost 6 FT to K in the past 2 years, that's a lot of kids. I've had them over 3 years, there are good days and there are bad. Yesterday I was on the brink of umm.... something. Then today 6 yo dcb comes in and has been nothing but helpful and kind. I even asked him if his mom had a talk with him and he said no, he just thought I needed the help since the 2 older girls weren't here today. DCM has told me in the past if she had to pay ft rates at 2 different dc's, she wouldn't be able to afford it(I give sibling discount).

The more I think about it, the more I think it's all about dynamics with him. I had 2 older sisters here the first 3 days this week and they're a tremendous help. They know what I need before *I* know what I need. They're fantastic! But when they're here, he acts up horribly. He doesn't get to be one of the 'top dogs' IYKWIM. When certain other kids are here, he's difficult too. Like I said, today he's been the other A*****, the nice one. which is why I go back and forth with him. He's a strong-willed child. And so is his sister.

[Blackcat31]

Group dynamics are definitely a HUGE player in how a child behaves.

I see immediate changes in some of my kids when others are absent... even a very well behaved child's absence plays a role in the dynamics of the group.

Maybe THAT is the key for you.... Set up your groups and activities with specific children in mind and their behaviors based off of their interactions or reactions to other children being present too.

I have two very well behaved 3.5 yr old DCB's. Awesome, funny great little dudes! Until I allow them to be in the same small group.....then all he77 breaks loose! So I just know now not to allow them to be in the same group together.

[Laurel]

Why do I have to keep them? Plain and simple I need the paycheck. I haven't had a call in months and I'm still down 1 FT from the fall. I've lost 6 FT to K in the past 2 years, that's a lot of kids. I've had them over 3 years, there are good days and there are bad. Yesterday I was on the brink of umm.... something. Then today 6 yo dcb comes in and has been nothing but helpful and kind. I even asked him if his mom had a talk with him and he said no, he just thought I needed the help since the 2 older girls weren't here today. DCM has told me in the past if she had to pay ft rates at 2 different dc's, she wouldn't be able to afford it(I give sibling discount).

The more I think about it, the more I think it's all about dynamics with him. I had 2 older sisters here the first 3 days this week and they're a tremendous help. They know what I need before *I* know what I need. They're fantastic! But when they're here, he acts up horribly. He doesn't get to be one of the 'top dogs' IYKWIM. When certain other kids are here, he's difficult too. Like I said, today he's been the other A*****, the nice one. which is why I go back and forth with him. He's a strong-willed child. And so is his sister.

It seems like he needs to feel important. Maybe he can be in charge of something. Also, since he is 6 you could ask him why he misbehaves when the other 2 are there. He may have some insight. Ask him things he would like to do while at your house, etc. Could he possibly be the 'group leader' for a craft or something that he is just in charge of?

Laurel

[preschoolteacher]

Yep, I have a 2.5 year old daycare girl who I swear will be ready to be my assistant before she's 5. She is awesome! When she's here, the kids play together so well (she includes everyone and comes up with fun ideas of what to play). She reminds kids when they are breaking the rules without being bossy. She even helps my toddlers take of their boots and snowpants! Love this girl!