Neighbor's Kids

[AmyLeigh]

What do you all do about neighbor's children coming over to play?

I have one neighbor girl who comes over almost. every. day. Sometimes I turn her away because we have evening plans. But other times I let her play with my children. She is an only child, I have 3 kiddos, and a separate playroom filled with toys. Her parents usually come down and get her at dark. But this week she is off for spring break and it has gotten worse. She arrived at my door at 11:30 am yesterday, my kids were tired from being out late Monday night, and it was almost lunch (I am not going to feed the child a meal when her mom is literally 3 houses down) so I told her to come back later. Sure enough, 2:30, she was knocking at my door, played and stayed until 7:00. Today, it was here at 1:00, home at 2, back here at 3, home at 6, back here at 6:30, home by 8.
On one hand, I don't mind her because she plays well with both ds and dd, they like playing with her (a change from the dck's), is respectful most of the time and usually doesn't cause any problems. There are times I even forget she is here, . I remember playing with my neighbor friends when I was that age. We were constantly at each other's homes. That is one of my favorite childhood memories. On the other, I am not getting paid to watch another kid, much less until 8:00 in the evening! She won't be able to stay tomorrow or Friday because the daycare is full and we have evening plans. Another problem is my husband uses the playroom as a home office for his ministerial work and needs access to it (along with a semblance of quiet) for an hour or so in the evenings. Last night he waited till she went home and therefore did not go to bed until after 11:00, needing to get up to go to work at 5:00 am.
At least school starts back next week, and we are on vacation the following, so it will be a little less of a hassle. But I feel a little resentful when she is here, and just as guilty turning her away. I can't find a balance. :confused:

[cheerfuldom]

You need to set some boundaries. A great way to do this is to create a visual in your yard of when she is welcome over.... a small flag that is hung, a fun little gnome put on the porch when she is welcome, something hung in a window, etc. Make sure mom knows that while you really enjoy her company, you need to set some boundaries so that you are not disappointing her or your children by saying no at the door, which is hard to do! If the flag is up, she can come over, if not, she stays home. Mom can see the visual too. There is no reason this child should come to the door if the flag is not out! Then it is up to you to send this child home at a reasonable hour, for your sake, your husbands sake and the family.....plus this little girl needs to go home already! LOL just set some boundaries. This is an easy issue to solve if you enforce the boundaries and communicate those. Its all on you.

STOP feeling guilty. You do not have to host every kid every time they want to come over! Anytime you let them come over is a bonus because you really dont have to do any of this at all. Stop focusing on what you cant do and focus on what you are doing. This child is safe and mom is getting hours of free babysitting. I would suggest you work out some time when your kids can go over there. Perhaps this mom wants to add the same visual flag to her house too!

[Rachel]

How old is she? Do your kids ever play there? My kids run in and out with friends all day long (but they are 6-10 and the DCK are all under 3). If it's not a good time or they have been at my house too much I will tell them to go play at X's house for a bit. But it all seems to come out in the wash. If she is really over at your house all the time you need to talk to the mom and tell her you don't mind hosting her dd who is a lovely girl, but your kids would also like to play at her house sometimes.

As far as going home, I think you need to set a time and just send her home at that time.

[coolconfidentme]

Wouldn't she be counted toward your license during business hours & if so, doesn't she have to be documented? Send your kids to her house for a change. idk, it's a thought.

[Blackcat31]

I think your neighbors are brilliant! They have figured out how to get FREE daycare services.

That IS pretty much what you are doing.

You need to let her parents know that you are a business and cannot entertain their child for free. You need to let them know that licensing (if licensed) would probably not approve since you don't have the appropriate paperwork for her and your liability insurance will probably not cover a non-enrolled child either.

It is a HUGE risk to let this child tag along with your clients' children.

I would tell her parents that she cannot come over unless you invite her AND have a confirmation about what time she is coming AND going home from her parents.

Just because it isn't a big deal or it's been doable doesn't mean you should HAVE to continue it....kwim?

These parents are getting FREE daycare and if I were your other DCP's and I got wind of it...I'd be a bit upset.

[NeedaVaca]

I think your neighbors are brilliant! They have figured out how to get FREE daycare services.

That IS pretty much what you are doing.

You need to let her parents know that you are a business and cannot entertain their child for free. You need to let them know that licensing (if licensed) would probably not approve since you don't have the appropriate paperwork for her and your liability insurance will probably not cover a non-enrolled child either.

It is a HUGE risk to let this child tag along with your clients' children.

I would tell her parents that she cannot come over unless you invite her AND have a confirmation about what time she is coming AND going home from her parents.

Just because it isn't a big deal or it's been doable doesn't mean you should HAVE to continue it....kwim?

These parents are getting FREE daycare and if I were your other DCP's and I got wind of it...I'd be a bit upset.

[Crazy8]

I think your neighbors are brilliant! They have figured out how to get FREE daycare services.

That IS pretty much what you are doing.

You need to let her parents know that you are a business and cannot entertain their child for free. You need to let them know that licensing (if licensed) would probably not approve since you don't have the appropriate paperwork for her and your liability insurance will probably not cover a non-enrolled child either.

It is a HUGE risk to let this child tag along with your clients' children.

I would tell her parents that she cannot come over unless you invite her AND have a confirmation about what time she is coming AND going home from her parents.

Just because it isn't a big deal or it's been doable doesn't mean you should HAVE to continue it....kwim?

These parents are getting FREE daycare and if I were your other DCP's and I got wind of it...I'd be a bit upset.

I kind of disagree. Like the OP stated, some great memories come from playing with kids in the neighborhood - my kids are in and out with neighborhood kids all day in the summer and they love every second of it. I don't think we know enough of the background to assume anything about the mom of the other child looking for free daycare. She may just be thrilled that her DD has found some kids to play with. If we weren't DCP's and just everyday SAHM's we probably wouldn't see it as free daycare, we'd see it as kids playing together. Now it does seem a bit one sided right now, so I would talk to the mom (not sure if you even know her??).

Now you do have to follow whatever your regulations are as for having another child in the house.

[Blackcat31]

I kind of disagree. Like the OP stated, some great memories come from playing with kids in the neighborhood - my kids are in and out with neighborhood kids all day in the summer and they love every second of it. I don't think we know enough of the background to assume anything about the mom of the other child looking for free daycare. She may just be thrilled that her DD has found some kids to play with. If we weren't DCP's and just everyday SAHM's we probably wouldn't see it as free daycare, we'd see it as kids playing together. Now it does seem a bit one sided right now, so I would talk to the mom (not sure if you even know her??).

Now you do have to follow whatever your regulations are as for having another child in the house.

The issue/truth is always in the very first post.

What do you all do about neighbor's children coming over to play?

I have one neighbor girl who comes over almost. every. day. Sometimes I turn her away because we have evening plans. But other times I let her play with my children. She is an only child, I have 3 kiddos, and a separate playroom filled with toys. Her parents usually come down and get her at dark. But this week she is off for spring break and it has gotten worse. She arrived at my door at 11:30 am yesterday, my kids were tired from being out late Monday night, and it was almost lunch (I am not going to feed the child a meal when her mom is literally 3 houses down) so I told her to come back later. Sure enough, 2:30, she was knocking at my door, played and stayed until 7:00. Today, it was here at 1:00, home at 2, back here at 3, home at 6, back here at 6:30, home by 8.
On one hand, I don't mind her because she plays well with both ds and dd, they like playing with her (a change from the dck's), is respectful most of the time and usually doesn't cause any problems. There are times I even forget she is here, . I remember playing with my neighbor friends when I was that age. We were constantly at each other's homes. That is one of my favorite childhood memories. On the other, I am not getting paid to watch another kid, much less until 8:00 in the evening! She won't be able to stay tomorrow or Friday because the daycare is full and we have evening plans. Another problem is my husband uses the playroom as a home office for his ministerial work and needs access to it (along with a semblance of quiet) for an hour or so in the evenings. Last night he waited till she went home and therefore did not go to bed until after 11:00, needing to get up to go to work at 5:00 am.
At least school starts back next week, and we are on vacation the following, so it will be a little less of a hassle. But I feel a little resentful when she is here, and just as guilty turning her away. I can't find a balance. :confused:

• The parents obviously know where their child is as they retrieve her each evening.
  
• The mom is 3 houses down and there is NO way she is not aware that OP is a daycare provider
  
• OP never mentioned if the parents say anything to her or not but they are obviously aware of where their child is and even allow her to return when OP says it's ok.
  
• OP says "usually" and "most of the time" meaning that there ARE times in which she isn't respectful and or well behaved
  
• Child can't stay tomorrow as OP will be at capacity so she obviously has ratios she has to follow
  
• OP is feeding and supervising her for free (made reference to that herself)
  
• OP is starting to feel resentful

Her (OP) mention about playing at neighbors as a child really has no bearing on this situation other than they were happy memories for OP but I bet OP's neighbor didn't run a full time child care business.

Plus, times are a changing.... neighborhood families didn't use to sue each other left and right when neighborhood kids got hurt.

Now days, we need to cover our own butts before we try to make lifelong memories for someone else's child.

[Tdhmom]

What do you all do about neighbor's children coming over to play?

I have one neighbor girl who comes over almost. every. day. Sometimes I turn her away because we have evening plans. But other times I let her play with my children. She is an only child, I have 3 kiddos, and a separate playroom filled with toys. Her parents usually come down and get her at dark. But this week she is off for spring break and it has gotten worse. She arrived at my door at 11:30 am yesterday, my kids were tired from being out late Monday night, and it was almost lunch (I am not going to feed the child a meal when her mom is literally 3 houses down) so I told her to come back later. Sure enough, 2:30, she was knocking at my door, played and stayed until 7:00. Today, it was here at 1:00, home at 2, back here at 3, home at 6, back here at 6:30, home by 8.
On one hand, I don't mind her because she plays well with both ds and dd, they like playing with her (a change from the dck's), is respectful most of the time and usually doesn't cause any problems. There are times I even forget she is here, . I remember playing with my neighbor friends when I was that age. We were constantly at each other's homes. That is one of my favorite childhood memories. On the other, I am not getting paid to watch another kid, much less until 8:00 in the evening! She won't be able to stay tomorrow or Friday because the daycare is full and we have evening plans. Another problem is my husband uses the playroom as a home office for his ministerial work and needs access to it (along with a semblance of quiet) for an hour or so in the evenings. Last night he waited till she went home and therefore did not go to bed until after 11:00, needing to get up to go to work at 5:00 am.
At least school starts back next week, and we are on vacation the following, so it will be a little less of a hassle. But I feel a little resentful when she is here, and just as guilty turning her away. I can't find a balance. :confused:

I'm having the same issue. Our neighbor girl is 4 yrs old, basically an only child. 2 brothers are only there every other weekend and are over here when they are I have set up pretty strict boundaries with her though. Her dad caught her on the side of my house one day (I didn't even know she was there) and I seen dad walking over and said "L really wants to stay and play, would that be ok?" I said nope! Not during daycare hours. My dcp's have made comments and I need to keep them happy. Which was MOSTLY true

She is a very nice, loveable little girl. I used to watch her part time and all my kids like her too BUT like bc said...to me it's more work. Since I do run a daycare I look at it like another child I have to keep track of and am responsible for since she's on my property, not someone my kids get to grow up around and be best buds.

And after daycare is over...I'm done, I'm spent, I'm ready to get dinner done, cleaned up and spend my 10 min of relaxing with MY KIDS, and my kids only before we have to do baths, books and bed!

It doesn't help that I have always lived in the country until a year in a half ago and am now in a city with neighbors!!! I like my privacy and I don't have it anymore

[Annalee]

I kind of disagree. Like the OP stated, some great memories come from playing with kids in the neighborhood - my kids are in and out with neighborhood kids all day in the summer and they love every second of it. I don't think we know enough of the background to assume anything about the mom of the other child looking for free daycare. She may just be thrilled that her DD has found some kids to play with. If we weren't DCP's and just everyday SAHM's we probably wouldn't see it as free daycare, we'd see it as kids playing together. Now it does seem a bit one sided right now, so I would talk to the mom (not sure if you even know her??).

Now you do have to follow whatever your regulations are as for having another child in the house.

Parents are very smart....free babysitters are found in the name of "play" all the time. I don't have the neighbor issue but I have tons of family members who have multiple times asked if their child can come over to my daycare to "play". I tell them "NO" due to license/state guidelines, but do offer them a chance to enroll and follow contract/policy. Funny how fast they scatter....::::