I Need Advice......

[caregiver]

I am thinking about terming a family, a 2 yr old girl & a 4 yr old boy as the 4 yr old boy has behavioral issues that I just can not handle anymore. He can be really sweet when he wants but wants his own way all the time. He talks back, tells me NO when I ask him to do things, has major meltdowns when he doesn't get his way,when he doesn't behave good, he doesn't get the privilege of using my Ipad for games and educational things, which he loves to do and then he will ho have meltdowns, hide behind a chair, roll on the floor and always will say I want to be good and repeats that many times. I have had him and his sister for over a year now and have been dealing with this behavior all this time. The meltdowns are getting much shorter, but he still is having them. Have talked to the parents many times about this and they have the same problem at home with him and just tell me to discipline him however I see fit for the situation. Well, today I have just had it and don't want the stress anymore. I have been doing daycare for 30 yrs now and have never had a child in my daycare behave like this.
My deliema is, I also have another DCG here who will be 3 here soon she likes playing with the 2 yr old DCG,sister of this 4 yr old, so my concern is if I start looking to replace these 2 kids, would you say anything to the parents of my other DCG that I will be looking to replace these 2 kids and if I replace them with a younger child, would they be okay with that as I am now going to look for only one more child and someone about a yr or so or maybe as young as 6 months old. DCG will be going to a morning preschool 2 times a week this coming fall, so she will be with other kids for 2 mornings a week and then be here the rest of the time.
I don't want to lose the 3 yr old DCG if I get someone younger because she would not be able to play with the new one like the 2 yr old now if it was younger and younger is what I really want now., so that is my problem. Any advice would be appreciated.

[preschoolteacher]

I would not talk to the parents of your 3-year-old DCG before you terminate the family. What if word gets back to the family that you're terminating BEFORE you do it? That could get dramatic and messy.

I think talking to 3y.o. DCG's parents also puts them in the position to run your business for you. If you run every decision past them to make sure they are okay with it pretty soon you won't have much authority and they will feel like they can comment/control every little aspect of your business.

What I would do is terminate the problem family. Then start looking to fill the position. I wouldn't mention to DCG-3's family about the age of the child or anything until the position is filled.

Then, you can look at all of the positive things that come from being the oldest child in the group. DCG3 gets to be the big helpers. She's becoming more independent. She has more responsibility. You are able to work with just her on her crafts/letters/numbers, whatever. I wouldn't bring up the fact that she has no one her age to play with. It might be an issue for the parents, but you know that already and beyond filling the space with a child her age, there is nothing you can do.

[melilley]

I would not talk to the parents of your 3-year-old DCG before you terminate the family. What if word gets back to the family that you're terminating BEFORE you do it? That could get dramatic and messy.

I think talking to 3y.o. DCG's parents also puts them in the position to run your business for you. If you run every decision past them to make sure they are okay with it pretty soon you won't have much authority and they will feel like they can comment/control every little aspect of your business.

What I would do is terminate the problem family. Then start looking to fill the position. I wouldn't mention to DCG-3's family about the age of the child or anything until the position is filled.

Then, you can look at all of the positive things that come from being the oldest child in the group. DCG3 gets to be the big helpers. She's becoming more independent. She has more responsibility. You are able to work with just her on her crafts/letters/numbers, whatever. I wouldn't bring up the fact that she has no one her age to play with. It might be an issue for the parents, but you know that already and beyond filling the space with a child her age, there is nothing you can do.

Op, you could also offer to keep dcg. Dcp may take you up onit. It's hard to find two spots at most fcc's, at least around here.

[Tdhmom]

I wouldn't let another family make that decision for you. You need to do what is in your best interest...and if terming these 2 kids is what will make your day go smoother, then that's what you need to do. I'm in the home stretch of my misbehaving dcb...only 19 days left! happyface I can't wait!!! He isn't here today and my day has been AWESOME!

In the beginning I've asked parents what their thoughts on new kids coming in are and they've never really had good things to say to me on the subject, so I've just not said anything and have done what I think is best. Some have worked out great and others haven't. Go with your gut and what will make you happy

[llpa]

I agree w pp in regards to telling that family. They should have no say whatsoever in how you run your business. Also, if the family you want to term was leaving on their own and moving, you would just replace them...no matter what..kwim?

[TaylorTots]

Op, you could also offer to keep dcg. Dcp may take you up onit. It's hard to find two spots at most fcc's, at least around here.

Same around here - unless you want a brand new experience-less provider or a center, it is rare to be able to find an highly recommended provider with sibling openings.