When Pick-Up Person Is Under the Influence

[LadyPearl]

How do you view this?

I had an appt with the initial licensing agency for my state a few weeks ago and she told me that I must release a child to a parent even if they are obviously under the influence. I have it stated in my policies that I will not do this but she's telling me that I don't have the right to withhold a child. I was shocked! Does anybody else have a state law that says this?

[Blackcat31]

How do you view this?

I had an appt with the initial licensing agency for my state a few weeks ago and she told me that I must release a child to a parent even if they are obviously under the influence. I have it stated in my policies that I will not do this but she's telling me that I don't have the right to withhold a child. I was shocked! Does anybody else have a state law that says this?

With holding a child from their legal guardian is considered kidnapping.

YOU are not trained to accurately decide whether some one is or isn't under the influence.

You can however have a plan in place for this this...

Stall, while calling the police
Offer an alternative method of transportation (call a taxi or a friend)
Call the police the minute a parent takes their child

There are many situations that could appear as if a parent is under the influence and without performing a sobriety test (which we are NOT trained to do) or a blood test, you really don't know if a person really is under the influence.

If in doubt, stall and call 911 if necessary but do NOT put the other children in your care at risk by trying to confront a person who may possibly be under the influence.

Your job is to ensure the safety of ALL children in care.

[debbiedoeszip]

This question was asked when I last did childcare during one of our workshops. The answer was release the child, but then call the police when they leave (and tell police that parent/adult is transporting child while under the influence).

[Blackcat31]

Other threads about this subject

https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=under+the+influence

https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=drunk+parent

[Cradle2crayons]

I will not release a child to an alternate pickup while they are under the influence but I have it in my policies I will call the police and Dhs as soon as hey close he door.

Where I live, by the time they got he kids in the car and made it down my long driveway a cop wouldbe waiting for them at the end...

And... I've had to do this ONE time a long time ago....

[TickleMonster]

Have had this happen. I stalled the dcd while my mother phoned the dcm. (Dcd and dcm are not together) Had her come and pick up the dcg. Dcd was so out of it, he didn't even seem to notice and just thought he had showed up on the wrong day to pick up dcg! What a mess.

[KiddieCahoots]

I was also advised by my CDA instructor.....when contracting with a family, to make copies of driver's licenses to keep in the file, and vehicle tag identification, make and models, for easy description to the police if ever necessary.

[Cradle2crayons]

I was also advised by my CDA instructor.....when contracting with a family, to make copies of driver's licenses to keep in the file, and vehicle tag identification, make and models, for easy description to the police if ever necessary.

I do exactly that!!!! Great great advice!!

[hwichlaz]

If my husband isn't home, I offer them a choice.

1. Call someone else or alternate transport.

2. Leave with your child and I call the police.


If my husband is home, he deals with it. He's a cop.

[Laurel]

It has never happened to me but when I was subbing for the secretary of our elementary school a dad came to pick up under the influence. The principal took him into his office and gave him a cup of black coffee and talked to him. I can't remember if someone else came to pick up or not...probably.

If the person wasn't violent, I'd try the "Hey look dad. You don't look well, did you have too much to drink? I think we should call someone else to pick up." If he didn't agree then I'd tell him I will call the police."

I know we cannot hold the child because another provider here was cited for it.

Laurel

[Blackcat31]

It has never happened to me but when I was subbing for the secretary of our elementary school a dad came to pick up under the influence. The principal took him into his office and gave him a cup of black coffee and talked to him. I can't remember if someone else came to pick up or not...probably.

If the person wasn't violent, I'd try the "Hey look dad. You don't look well, did you have too much to drink? I think we should call someone else to pick up." If he didn't agree then I'd tell him I will call the police."

I know we cannot hold the child because another provider here was cited for it.

Laurel

I'm sorry but I agree with everything you said except the part about asking if they had too much to drink. My DH is an insulin diabetic. When his blood sugar is low he appears to be drunk.

If you asked him if he had too much to drink, I would be HIGHLY offended because that implies he would do such a thing.

Instead I would rather you simply asked if he were ok and if you could call an alternate method of transportation for him/the child.

Wording is everything in my opinion and I would really hate to think my provider automatically assumed I was drinking when it could be a number of other things. NONE of which a person should be driving with their child but nothing that would warrant such an assumption....kwim?

[Laurel]

I'm sorry but I agree with everything you said except the part about asking if they had too much to drink. My DH is an insulin diabetic. When his blood sugar is low he appears to be drunk.

If you asked him if he had too much to drink, I would be HIGHLY offended because that implies he would do such a thing.

Instead I would rather you simply asked if he were ok and if you could call an alternate method of transportation for him/the child.

Wording is everything in my opinion and I would really hate to think my provider automatically assumed I was drinking when it could be a number of other things. NONE of which a person should be driving with their child but nothing that would warrant such an assumption....kwim?

Point taken and you are right. I can't imagine anyone who has a condition that makes them look drunk though wouldn't just say "Oh I can see why you would think that but no I am a diabetic." If they know they look that way sometimes I can't imagine being offended. That said, though, I like your question better.

To be honest, I wouldn't be all that worried if they were offended. I'm human and not a mind reader.

Laurel

[Angelsj]

Black Cat is correct in saying it is not legal to keep the child. However, I have done this, and the police were grateful. I do not believe, law or not, that any judge would convict in those circumstances, especially if the police are called immediately.

I have a commanding way about me, though, and the other children were never in danger. If this was possible, I would release the child, then call.
I just tell them they can call an alternative pick up, or I will call the police and they can wait for a decision from them. If they are not under the influence, no problem. The police ARE capable and trained to make that call.

For the record, it is not always drugs or alcohol. I have refused to return a child in the case of a schizophrenic in the midst of hallucinations and delusions. I am still friends with the mother (she is on meds now) and she was also grateful.

In the case of diabetes, I would hope the person would say so, but I do know that some people in the throes of hypoglycemia just get angry and don't realize they need food. I would apologize for the offense, but I would think a parent would be happy to learn I will not release their child to someone who appears incapable of safely driving them.

[Angelsj]

This question was asked when I last did childcare during one of our workshops. The answer was release the child, but then call the police when they leave (and tell police that parent/adult is transporting child while under the influence).

One thing you learn after school is over, is that there is often a "school answer" and a "real life" answer. Sometimes, we have to make hard choices and hope for the best result.
Knowing the law is always good, but following that (or accepting possible consequences of not following it) is always a choice of an adult.

[Blackcat31]

Point taken and you are right. I can't imagine anyone who has a condition that makes them look drunk though wouldn't just say "Oh I can see why you would think that but no I am a diabetic." If they know they look that way sometimes I can't imagine being offended. That said, though, I like your question better.

To be honest, I wouldn't be all that worried if they were offended. I'm human and not a mind reader.

Laurel

Most people with diabetes WILL say that, but I can't speak for everyone.

My DH wouldn't normally be offended but because so many people DO jump to that conclusion without thinking that there could be another more plausible explanation, it gets rather annoying to have to correct people.

Plus, assuming that my DH would be the kind of parent to drink and drive with our child is what would offend me....even if it were my child you were trying to protect.

I would also think that if I were your DCF, I would tell you ahead of time of my DH's condition and what the symptoms of low or high blood sugar looks like....

A PP is correct in stating too that often times someone who is experiencing blood sugar swings, that they can be irritable and cranky but not on purpose.

I don't know if that makes sense... I guess unless you've actually witnessed someone having an episode, it would be hard to understand what I mean.

Black Cat is correct in saying it is not legal to keep the child. However, I have done this, and the police were grateful. I do not believe, law or not, that any judge would convict in those circumstances, especially if the police are called immediately.

I have a commanding way about me, though, and the other children were never in danger. If this was possible, I would release the child, then call.
I just tell them they can call an alternative pick up, or I will call the police and they can wait for a decision from them. If they are not under the influence, no problem. The police ARE capable and trained to make that call.

For the record, it is not always drugs or alcohol. I have refused to return a child in the case of a schizophrenic in the midst of hallucinations and delusions. I am still friends with the mother (she is on meds now) and she was also grateful.

In the case of diabetes, I would hope the person would say so, but I do know that some people in the throes of hypoglycemia just get angry and don't realize they need food. I would apologize for the offense, but I would think a parent would be happy to learn I will not release their child to someone who appears incapable of safely driving them.

You are correct in stating that someone with that condition often appears angry or heated....which would be another reason I would not want to offend.... I wouldn't want to risk the person freaking out and having the other kids see that.

I also think that it is important for families who do have medical issues to discuss these things with the provider BEFORE-hand so that there can be a plan in place BEFORE something happens.

PRE-planning would solve a lot of the confusion.

I did have a mom come one time after the dentist. She appeared VERY intoxicated. She wasn't. She was having an issue with the stuff the dentist gave her and some other medication she takes.... She had NO idea it would make her feel/act that way. Thankfully she was a great parent that totally understood why I offered her alternatives to get home.