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Maybe I am just feeling particularly picky but I am tired of this. A dcm that we have had for over a year, who has always been sweet, is starting a daily trend that gets on my nerves. First of all she is always late dropping dcg off (saying she will be here by 9am and not showing until 11am) which means dcg quite often misses out on our daily craft time. Then dcm does not pick up until right at our closing time and first thing when she comes in the door almost every day is "Can I use your restroom?" while she is crossing her legs and swaying. I guess it would not be an issue but she does it constantly now and every time dcg throws a huge fit because mama has to leave her side to potty! So dcm usually tries to coax her or takes her in the bathroom which takes longer and all the while, I'm tapping my foot and thinking, "Ummm we are now closed, JUST GO HOME ALREADY!" She only lives about 5 mins from our house. Can't she just wait that long to potty? OMG.
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So, the issue is not really that she's using your bathroom so much, as wasting your time?
You may need to be firm. "DCM, I know you have a lot going on (ahem), but I just need to ask you, if you could please make pick-ups a little quicker at night. I'm closed at 5:00, which means, I REALLY want to be done working by 5. There's just so much for us working moms to do! Can I get you to help me out there?"
If that doesn't work, have dcg ready to go by the time mom comes, and hand her out the door. "Have a great night...bye" close door.
Save the "dcg is missing out on crafts" for another discussion. Don't bombard the poor woman. If it was important to dcm, she'd make sure she got there. Also, hanging everyone else's art work in the parent area (if you have one) with their names on it, may make her see what her child is missing, although it may make dcg feel bad, too. -
I know you said that she tries to get her child to go into the bathroom with her, but I would go so far as to insist that the girl accompany her (then say your goodbyes and tell dcm to just let herself out when they are done).
Then I'd just go about my business like they weren't even there. Go make dinner, or go out to the patio and relax, or go up to your bedroom and read a book. Anything, but stand/sit around waiting for them to leave. If nothing else, you will feel a little less put upon, and dcm might get the hint that they are intruding on your time.Comment
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I would say this to her:
"Hey Sally, I know my home is a business and I do not mean to make you feel as though you aren't welcome but this situation with you using my family bathroom every day is getting out of hand and causing issues with Janey.
I would really like it if you would try to avoid using my family bathroom unless it really is an emergency.
Helping Janey easily acclimate into the daycare home/program/day easily without issue is my main concern so I am sure you understand."
I would make sure I used the words FAMILY BATHROOM so that she doesn't get the idea that it is a public restroom.
If you don't feel comfy saying it to her face to face, then text or e-mail it.
IF you approach it from the angle that it is causing her DD stress/issues, she will probably be more open to understanding...kwim?Comment
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Another thread/poll about parents using the provider's bathroom
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Thanks for sending me that link to the other thread! Always helps to know we are not alone, even in the smallest of things.Comment
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I've only had a few people ask to use my bathroom. One was a DCM who commutes almost an hour so I really don't mind and I think its only been once or twice. Once was an early intervention coordinator who was 7mos pregnant so I didn't mind! I remember those days! But last week we had a PT apt for a DCB and his PTist asked if he could use my bathroom right after getting here... he just left his house to come here... I didn't like his vibe at all and I really didn't like him using my bathroom. Then a DCD has asked once which also was weird since he just left work? I'm going to put a stop to it. I will have to say that due to licensing health regulations I can't allow the public use of my restroom.Comment
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The only part that would bother me is that it's making you close late. It does bother me when men do it because I've yet to find a man that doesn't sprinkle a bit when he tinkles. The men in my own family sit to pee, and so do my daycare boys. I tell them they can start standing when I install a urinal. Toilets have seats, so sit down.
I'm not some ogre that makes my husband "pee like a girl"
. I gave my son and husband both the option of wiping the toilet down after every use or sitting. They choose to sit.
It did used to bother me, but then I went through a time when almost all of my daycare moms were pregnant and it would have been mean to deny them. Then my own husband had an infected prostate and I realized that you just don't know what's going on with other people that might cause them to need to pee more often. My bathroom does't have anything private in it, because daycare kids use it, so oh well.Comment
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do you have a late fee ??If not get one now and it goes until they leave your property unless YOU ASK them to stay and talk... so potty time is still $1 or $2 a minute. maybe she needs to forget that large soda she is stopping to get and drinks every day after workIt:
: will waitComment
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Me too
Mine is a sibling of an enrolled dck. Dcm brings the sibling from the school bus, which stops right at their house. Their house is less than five minutes away on foot. Inevitably sibling "needs to poop" here. It's ridiculous. The toddler is left with me, crying for dcm, while dcm brings sibling inside (which has already been cleaned up for the day.) They're gone for ten minutes or more.
I have talked to dcm. It would be so simple to have her go at home before they lock up and come here. She says she will change it but never does. Sigh.
We have an evening meeting planned soon. (I asked for a childless meeting but she is bringing both?!) It will be chaos, but hopefully it will all be over soon.
This seems petty, but it disrupts my whole group, and makes my whole evening start at least 15 minutes later, no matter what I need to do. If it were a necessity I would not consider it to be a big deal at all. It just doesn't seem like a necessity.Comment
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I would like to thank everyone for your comments. I think we are all on the same boat. I think if this continues we will have a talk with her, I like the Idea of the late fee
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I'd take the passive aggressive route and be outside upon arrival.
"Sorry, no. Its already past closing time and we are just heading out"
And make sure the door is locked in case she doesn't stop to hear your answer
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It has never bothered me when parents or siblings have asked to use my bathroom even when I only had one bathroom. Now if I catch someone peeing in my sink, that'll be a different story.
I just go about my business and don't worry about it.
I have one mother who asks to change into her gym clothes once or twice a month, I don't have a problem with it.
Everyone has to do what they're comfortable with.Comment
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