Daughter Has Severe Anxiety....Should I Give Up Daycare?

[Unregistered]

Hey everyone,

I have an in-home daycare in a small bungalow and have been struggling with the idea to give it up lately because I have a daughter who is seeing a psychologist for anxiety disorder. We took her out of school for a couple weeks and home schooled her to help ease some of her stress but she has since returned. (She was being bullied at school for her anxiety).

Long story short, I have been debating giving up the daycare. My husband is not on board. I just feel like having a nice quiet place to come home to would help her. Right now I can't even take 5 minutes to listen to her day. And it is SOOOO loud and stressful in here. All 3 of my kids really hate the daycare but I don't want them to be able to dictate what I do for money.

DH loves the daycare because 1 - he is not here, 2 - he loves the extra income to do whatever we want on weekends (we don't need the $ to get by) 3 - he loves the fact that there are kids here to help our youngest learn to socialize (I have never been a fan of the whole learning to socialize thing...kids learn to socialze from birth with everyone they come into contact with - they don't need to be around peers for 10 hours a day to be social.)

Anyway I am not sure what to do anymore...I want what is best for my family but especially for my daughter whom, if DH was on board, I would surely home school. Since he is not, I would love for her to at least be able to relax when she arrives from school.

Thank you all for your opinions. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this post.

[Unregistered]

Daughter has severe anxiety....should I give up daycare?

Hey everyone,

I have an in-home daycare in a small bungalow and have been struggling with the idea to give it up lately because I have a daughter who is seeing a psychologist for anxiety disorder. We took her out of school for a couple weeks and home schooled her to help ease some of her stress but she has since returned. (She was being bullied at school for her anxiety).

Long story short, I have been debating giving up the daycare. My husband is not on board. I just feel like having a nice quiet place to come home to would help her. Right now I can't even take 5 minutes to listen to her day. And it is SOOOO loud and stressful in here. All 3 of my kids really hate the daycare but I don't want them to be able to dictate what I do for money.

DH loves the daycare because 1 - he is not here, 2 - he loves the extra income to do whatever we want on weekends (we don't need the $ to get by) 3 - he loves the fact that there are kids here to help our youngest learn to socialize (I have never been a fan of the whole learning to socialize thing...kids learn to socialze from birth with everyone they come into contact with - they don't need to be around peers for 10 hours a day to be social.)

Anyway I am not sure what to do anymore...I want what is best for my family but especially for my daughter whom, if DH was on board, I would surely home school. Since he is not, I would love for her to at least be able to relax when she arrives from school.

Thank you all for your opinions. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this post.

[Laurel]

Hey everyone,

I have an in-home daycare in a small bungalow and have been struggling with the idea to give it up lately because I have a daughter who is seeing a psychologist for anxiety disorder. We took her out of school for a couple weeks and home schooled her to help ease some of her stress but she has since returned. (She was being bullied at school for her anxiety).

Long story short, I have been debating giving up the daycare. My husband is not on board. I just feel like having a nice quiet place to come home to would help her. Right now I can't even take 5 minutes to listen to her day. And it is SOOOO loud and stressful in here. All 3 of my kids really hate the daycare but I don't want them to be able to dictate what I do for money.

DH loves the daycare because 1 - he is not here, 2 - he loves the extra income to do whatever we want on weekends (we don't need the $ to get by) 3 - he loves the fact that there are kids here to help our youngest learn to socialize (I have never been a fan of the whole learning to socialize thing...kids learn to socialze from birth with everyone they come into contact with - they don't need to be around peers for 10 hours a day to be social.)

Anyway I am not sure what to do anymore...I want what is best for my family but especially for my daughter whom, if DH was on board, I would surely home school. Since he is not, I would love for her to at least be able to relax when she arrives from school.

Thank you all for your opinions. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this post.

If you don't need the money, I'd quit in a heartbeat.

Or, you could compromise with husband. Could you take only one daycare child? Maybe pick the one that your child usually plays with to make husband feel better about socializing. Or take the one with the shortest hours.

Laurel

[NeedaVaca]

It sounds to me like you know what you want to do, you don't even really need the $, you just need to get DH on board. You could find other ways to make money on the side for extra spending money! Maybe if you show him some alternatives he would change his mind, especially for the DD that would benefit from a more peaceful environment. Good luck!

[Leigh]

What does your daughter's psychologist recommend? I ask because having the daycare kids around her MAY help her build up some resiliency to stress. I don't know about your daughter's situation, but I would be discussing in depth with the psychologist. Another thing: Has your daughter also seen a psychiatrist? This is based on person opinion, but I think that seeing both is often quite beneficial.

[Unregistered]

I haven't mentionned the daycare to her psychologist but you raise a good point. I will be mentioning it to her next week for sure.

[Unregistered]

How about offering part time or drop in care between 9ish and 3ish, while your oldest children are in school?

[TaylorTots]

Here is my opinion. No offense intended at all.

You are paying a therapist - talk to him/her. Talk to him about how she can help HERSELF cope - not you helping her cope. She has to learn on her own. You aren't always there.

Also, if her adjustment and function level is so low I am surprised her therapist has not tried medication to allow her to feel normal - since being in school is a part of her life as much as having a job someday will be, she needs to learn to cope with anxiety. Before quitting daycare and losing your extra money that helps you and DH connect (date nights, etc), talk to yeach other and the therapist about medication. If she is on anxiety meds, they aren't working obviously and you need to try new medications. A natural approach is respectable but sheltering her in any way (homeschool or avoiding children after school) is not a nautral productive approach to helping her learn to cope with her disorder.

There is nothing wrong with anxiety medications if they are needed, just like an inhaler for asthma. I take anxiety medication and have for many years due to my inability to cope. Your therapist can refer to you someone who is knowledgable about and can prescribe medication for your daughter, such as a psychiatrist or a psychiatric nurse.

[CraftyMom]

How about shorter daycare hours? Maybe half day or end at 2:00 or 3:00