Any Toy Can Be Used as a Gun :(

[marniewon]

How is it that little boys instinctively "shoot guns"?? We don't have toy guns here, obviously, but these little guys will use anything (puzzle pieces, farm animals, etc) and "shoot" things/people. How does everyone deal with this? We don't allow gun play here, but nothing I say (over and over and over) is getting through!

[Live and Learn]

Say "so sad too bad" take the toy away for the day and say we do not shoot here. End of story. if you do this consistently the other children might help "police" the perp so that the toy isn't put in time out. I only use time out for biting hitting and the like but I put toys in timeout if they are misused::!!!

[marniewon]

What if ALL the toys get taken away? Not hypothetical - it's actually happened here!! I felt really bad for the ones who didn't "lose" the toys, and gave them all back to those kids when the offending party was napping/went home!

[kidkair]

Do you have two rooms? I'd send the offenders into a toy free room with some music and let them dance or sing without toys and if they go 10 minutes without making gun noises or using their fingers as weapons then I would give them each one toy. As soon as it became a gun I would take it away and wait 10 minutes without guns again and then try another toy for each. Any time they make it 10 minutes without guns I'd give them another toy and each time any toy became a gun I would take that toy away and restart the 10 minutes. Using a timer might help out.

[Blackcat31]

I do NOT buy toy guns or encourage gun play, however, no matter how hard you try they will make guns out of ANYTHING. period. I think it is probably more important to talk with the kids about gun safety and the importance of what we can and can not shoot. In some areas hunting is ritual passed down from generation to generation and try as we might there will always be the little one who dreams of owning a gun like daddy or grandpa or who ever. I think the discussions we have with the children about safety and proper use are far more important than banning guns all together. I think by banning them, we are choosing to ignore the elephant in the room. If we start teaching them young the rules of safety and what we can and can not do with guns, it will be far more developmentally appropriate than just saying NO GUNS. Talks should include what to do if we are at someones house and see a gun that is not in a locked case or cabinet, and what things and when we are allowed to shoot. I am not a gun advocate and my DH is not a hunter , but I think taking a pro-active approach to guns and safety is the only way to really deal with it. They are going to play with guns...no matter what. We can say no and tell parents we don't allow it, but they are doing it anyways. Just my opinion.

[misol]

I do NOT buy toy guns or encourage gun play, however, no matter how hard you try they will make guns out of ANYTHING. period. I think it is probably more important to talk with the kids about gun safety and the importance of what we can and can not shoot. In some areas hunting is ritual passed down from generation to generation and try as we might there will always be the little one who dreams of owning a gun like daddy or grandpa or who ever. I think the discussions we have with the children about safety and proper use are far more important than banning guns all together. I think by banning them, we are choosing to ignore the elephant in the room. If we start teaching them young the rules of safety and what we can and can not do with guns, it will be far more developmentally appropriate than just saying NO GUNS. Talks should include what to do if we are at someones house and see a gun that is not in a locked case or cabinet, and what things and when we are allowed to shoot. I am not a gun advocate and my DH is not a hunter , but I think taking a pro-active approach to guns and safety is the only way to really deal with it. They are going to play with guns...no matter what. We can say no and tell parents we don't allow it, but they are doing it anyways. Just my opinion.

Black cat I will agree with you. I do my best to discourage gun play (which is next to impossible) but I have had discussions with the children about guns as they relate to hunting.

[Live and Learn]

I think that if I had one lil rambo going around turning everything into guns to the extent that EVERY? toy had to be taken away then it would be time for lil rambo's parents to get involved....that would not be appropriate behavior in my home....by the way...I am a parent of several sons

[Luna]

Some of the boys I've had here make everything into guns, including biting their sandwiches and crackers into gun-like shapes! One of the boys has a father who hunts, another has a father who is a police officer and guns are just part of their world. I don't like it, I don't encourage it, but I would be fighting a losing battle trying to banish it. So we have no guns at the table, no gun-playing with someone who doesn't want to be a part of it, rules I can reasonably enforce in my home. In my mind, it is similar to rough & tumble play, appropriate with certain rules.

[marniewon]

I think that if I had one lil rambo going around turning everything into guns to the extent that EVERY? toy had to be taken away then it would be time for lil rambo's parents to get involved....that would not be appropriate behavior in my home....by the way...I am a parent of several sons

He didn't get every toy taken away for using them as guns, just general misuse of a lot of them. He's not allowed to touch any books. He destroys them. Even board books!! Every time I try to let him use books, he wrecks them. He likes to throw toys too. Or step on them. Or use them as guns.

[nannyde]

How is it that little boys instinctively "shoot guns"?? We don't have toy guns here, obviously, but these little guys will use anything (puzzle pieces, farm animals, etc) and "shoot" things/people. How does everyone deal with this? We don't allow gun play here, but nothing I say (over and over and over) is getting through!

I don't allow any gun play at all. If they turn a toy into guns they get only rags to play with. Can't make a gun out of a rag.

[SilverSabre25]

Putting on my Child Development hat...and half-expecting to get flamed for it...

Gun play is just part of life, whether we like it or not. When I was at University studying Child Development and Education, we learned about one (I want to say she was a Child psychologist/ Developmental expert/teacher/something along those lines) person who felt VERY VERY strongly about things like gender roles and gun play and violence--she basically did an experiment on her own child and allowed NO exposure, ZERO exposure to any kind of gun play, any kind of violence, and any kind of gender stereotyping.

One day when he was about 3 or 4, out of nowhere he picked up a simple toy block, pointed it at her, and said, "Bang! You're dead!"

She was dismayed, absolutely heartbroken...but drew the conclusion that these kinds of things just cannot be stopped, cannot be erased, cannot be prevented--they are hard-wired into our brains somewhere.

Gun play can be discouraged, but it is actually a developmentally normal and developmentally appropriate thing for children to end up interested in--just as children shouldn't be punished for developmentally normal toileting accidents (for one example), children should NOT be punished for developmentally normal experimentation of guns/gun play/good guy-bad guy archetype exploration--which is what most gun play comes down to. Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Luke and Darth Vader...these all boil down to perfectly normal experimentation with those roles, with those archetypes. Whether the weapon of choice is bows and arrows, guns, swords, or lightsabres, all kids do it.

The best thing to do is allow it--within certain boundaries and limitations. Outside only, you can only use "pretend" weapons (i.e. your hand as a gun or an invisible sword), you may NOT pretend to shoot/stab/etc someone who doesn't want to play or expresses discomfort with it. I would avoid mandating that all the "bad guys" have to be pretend bad guys because that takes away the exploration of a bad guy role--but mandating that all participants have to be okay with the role they're playing is perfectly acceptable. If everyone wants to be cops, then they need to shoot invisible bad guys. End of story. Chances are that won't happen, though. Children have an innate need to explore the good guy AND the bad guy roles, and they do.

It can be VERY hard for adults to watch children learning to navigate these roles and pretend to shoot people/animals. But if you understand the developmental need that this play is fulfilling, it might make it easier. Children have been playing with pretend weapons for as long as there have been real weapons--just as children have been playing with pretend babies for as long as there have been real babies. It's just what happens.

One final thought--as with so many things with children, if you outright disallow and forbid something (such as gun play) you lose ALL control over it and it will almost certainly happen anyway, anytime, especially if you aren't there for a short time (bathroom, diaper change, getting lunch, answering the door, etc). When you ALLOW it, you gain the power to put limits and restrictions on it and then enforce them. So long as you make sure that YOU respect your OWN limitations and when they're outside (or whatever) they are freely allowed to play good guy/bad guy without your interference (unless they are violating another of your limitations), then they WILL learn to respect the limits. And everyone will be happier for it.

[marniewon]

Gun play is just part of life, whether we like it or not. When I was at University studying Child Development and Education, we learned about one (I want to say she was a Child psychologist/ Developmental expert/teacher/something along those lines) person who felt VERY VERY strongly about things like gender roles and gun play and violence--she basically did an experiment on her own child and allowed NO exposure, ZERO exposure to any kind of gun play, any kind of violence, and any kind of gender stereotyping.

One day when he was about 3 or 4, out of nowhere he picked up a simple toy block, pointed it at her, and said, "Bang! You're dead!"

She was dismayed, absolutely heartbroken...but drew the conclusion that these kinds of things just cannot be stopped, cannot be erased, cannot be prevented--they are hard-wired into our brains somewhere.

Gun play can be discouraged, but it is actually a developmentally normal and developmentally appropriate thing for children to end up interested in--just as children shouldn't be punished for developmentally normal toileting accidents (for one example), children should NOT be punished for developmentally normal experimentation of guns/gun play/good guy-bad guy archetype exploration--which is what most gun play comes down to. Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Luke and Darth Vader...these all boil down to perfectly normal experimentation with those roles, with those archetypes. Whether the weapon of choice is bows and arrows, guns, swords, or lightsabres, all kids do it.

The best thing to do is allow it--within certain boundaries and limitations. Outside only, you can only use "pretend" weapons (i.e. your hand as a gun or an invisible sword), you may NOT pretend to shoot/stab/etc someone who doesn't want to play or expresses discomfort with it. I would avoid mandating that all the "bad guys" have to be pretend bad guys because that takes away the exploration of a bad guy role--but mandating that all participants have to be okay with the role they're playing is perfectly acceptable. If everyone wants to be cops, then they need to shoot invisible bad guys. End of story. Chances are that won't happen, though. Children have an innate need to explore the good guy AND the bad guy roles, and they do.

It can be VERY hard for adults to watch children learning to navigate these roles and pretend to shoot people/animals. But if you understand the developmental need that this play is fulfilling, it might make it easier. Children have been playing with pretend weapons for as long as there have been real weapons--just as children have been playing with pretend babies for as long as there have been real babies. It's just what happens.

One final thought--as with so many things with children, if you outright disallow and forbid something (such as gun play) you lose ALL control over it and it will almost certainly happen anyway, anytime, especially if you aren't there for a short time (bathroom, diaper change, getting lunch, answering the door, etc). When you ALLOW it, you gain the power to put limits and restrictions on it and then enforce them. So long as you make sure that YOU respect your OWN limitations and when they're outside (or whatever) they are freely allowed to play good guy/bad guy without your interference (unless they are violating another of your limitations), then they WILL learn to respect the limits. And everyone will be happier for it.

I would never flame you for giving your opinion However, in this case, I'm talking about a 2 year old (just turned 2). There is no reasoning or explaining or controlling him. A simple command will have him looking at me with a dumbfounded look on his face and him saying "what?". I think you do have a point with older children, but this one would not even come close to understanding what I'm saying or following my "rules". The other part of that is, I've always heard that you don't ever aim a gun (toy or otherwise) unless you intend to shoot what you are aiming at. My own sons (now 13 and 16) would play with toy guns, and my only rule with them was they were never ever to aim it at any person or animal. They were a lot older than 2, and they understood and could follow my rule.

[SilverSabre25]

Ah, good point, yeah...2's are hard...yeah if you mentioned that at first I totally missed it! I'm surprised at a two year old trying to do so much gun play...but then that probably says a LOT about what he gets exposed to at home. Redirection is probably the best bet at his age. A quick, "nope, we don't do that here. Let's read this book!" and although it probably won't prevent it from happening, at least it will hopefully stop it in that instant.

[marniewon]

Ah, good point, yeah...2's are hard...yeah if you mentioned that at first I totally missed it! I'm surprised at a two year old trying to do so much gun play...but then that probably says a LOT about what he gets exposed to at home. Redirection is probably the best bet at his age. A quick, "nope, we don't do that here. Let's read this book!" and although it probably won't prevent it from happening, at least it will hopefully stop it in that instant.

Yeah, from what we understand from older sibling (who is in school now, but came during summer) dcp's pretty much watch whatever when he's around, and dad plays video games. I'm guessing most of the games are the shoot-em-up type games. This kid doesn't do a 'bang-bang' type shooting, but more of a machine gun type shooting. When he does it, I tell him "no shooting" and take the toy away. It works for the moment. I'll just continue to do that. I just think it's interesting what children decide to emulate.

[QualiTcare]

i don't think we should just allow it. as stupid as it is, kindergarteners can get in trouble for "gun talk." the whole zero tolerance thing has been taken to a whole new extreme. you can't play with your friend anymore and say, "i'm gonna shoot you" because then you'll be in the guidance office getting evaluated.

my son's daycare didn't allow any type of gun play and i've never allowed it at home. he doesn't ever talk about guns and knows a toy gun isn't an option and he's a wild, rough little boy. i played with them as a child, but i'm surprised they even sell toy guns these days. it was always harmless play for me, but that was before kids started shooting each other at school and the rules got so strict. if they are going to be going to school, they won't be allowed to play with or talk about guns so it's best to start the zero tolerance ASAP in my opinion because that's what they'll be going by for the next 12-13 years at least.