Won't Swallow Food?

[Kabob]

I've never encountered this issue so I need ideas in case it happens again...

3 yo dcb was eating carrots at snack time. It is soooo nice outside lately so I told the kids that we would be going outside again after snack time. 3 yo dcb hates outdoor time (or anything he doesn't want to do really). I told him it is so nice out that we will he going outside anyway. So he starts to eat veeeeeery slowly. I ignore. All the other kids finish and excitedly start collecting their shoes and putting them on. 3 yo dcb declares he is done so I tell him to clean up and get his shoes. Apparently he held on to a carrot and popped it in his mouth just as he was putting on his shoes. I saw of course since he was the last one to get his shoes. I told him that he needed to eat the carrot at the table because he could choke, so food is not allowed in the mouth while playing. He proceeded to sit on the floor and clamped his mouth shut and refused to move. After waiting 5 minutes for him to do something (chew, move to the designated spot, etc), I carried him outside so that the other kids could play. I sat him next to me and told him that he could go play after he either chooses to spit out the carrot or swallow the carrot. He sat there for an entire hour with that carrot in his mouth staring at the ground. He has done this before on a mild level (tried to grab food as he was leaving the table or tried to leave the table with food in his mouth) but never has he done it to this extent. What can I do to prevent this again? Even making sure he has nothing in his hands next time, he still likes to stick food in his mouth and then sit there and pout when the other kids leave the table to go to the next activity. I can't just leave him alone nor can I force the other kids to wait for him (which I think is what he wants since he only does this when he doesn't want to do the next activity).

[Cradle2crayons]

I've never encountered this issue so I need ideas in case it happens again...

3 yo dcb was eating carrots at snack time. It is soooo nice outside lately so I told the kids that we would be going outside again after snack time. 3 yo dcb hates outdoor time (or anything he doesn't want to do really). I told him it is so nice out that we will he going outside anyway. So he starts to eat veeeeeery slowly. I ignore. All the other kids finish and excitedly start collecting their shoes and putting them on. 3 yo dcb declares he is done so I tell him to clean up and get his shoes. Apparently he held on to a carrot and popped it in his mouth just as he was putting on his shoes. I saw of course since he was the last one to get his shoes. I told him that he needed to eat the carrot at the table because he could choke, so food is not allowed in the mouth while playing. He proceeded to sit on the floor and clamped his mouth shut and refused to move. After waiting 5 minutes for him to do something (chew, move to the designated spot, etc), I carried him outside so that the other kids could play. I sat him next to me and told him that he could go play after he either chooses to spit out the carrot or swallow the carrot. He sat there for an entire hour with that carrot in his mouth staring at the ground. He has done this before on a mild level (tried to grab food as he was leaving the table or tried to leave the table with food in his mouth) but never has he done it to this extent. What can I do to prevent this again? Even making sure he has nothing in his hands next time, he still likes to stick food in his mouth and then sit there and pout when the other kids leave the table to go to the next activity. I can't just leave him alone nor can I force the other kids to wait for him (which I think is what he wants since he only does this when he doesn't want to do the next activity).

Don't tell him he next activity while he's at the table? I'd try this. That way he doesn't use it as a stalling tactic.

[Heidi]

Don't tell him he next activity while he's at the table? I'd try this. That way he doesn't use it as a stalling tactic.

Yep...

Once the first one is done, if you want to have them get started, I'd take his plate away, too, and excuse him. He will not starve.

[Kabob]

I tried that but the kids know the routine or they will loudly remind dcb what is next. When I tried switching the activities up...he stalled once he saw the other kids were done eating...he seems to like to try to control what they do because they have to wait for him and he knows it...he knows I just can't leave him there (his brother even says "I won't do X without you."). Oh and once I started taking away his plate when I know he's going to stall, he started shoving food in his mouth and holds it there like a hamster or something...so my bad for taking away the plate after a half hour...

[Cradle2crayons]

I tried that but the kids know the routine or they will loudly remind dcb what is next. When I tried switching the activities up...he stalled once he saw the other kids were done eating...he seems to like to try to control what they do because they have to wait for him and he knows it...he knows I just can't leave him there (his brother even says "I won't do X without you."). Oh and once I started taking away his plate when I know he's going to stall, he started shoving food in his mouth and holds it there like a hamster or something...so my bad for taking away the plate after a half hour...

I'd start him eating first... About 15 minutes before the others... Then at the thirty minute mark the others should still be eating... Then I'd take his plate.

[Blackcat31]

I don't think it's fair to the others to not be told the next activity as that is part of the learning process for many.

I would have a consequence for the DCB when he does that. Watch him closely at every meal. Try to intercept him grabbing food by not having anything within reach of him and maybe not let the kids get up from the table until you actually excuse them. Don't excuse DCB until all the food has been removed.

If he is holding food in his mouth, do exactly what you did and have him sit next to you until he either spits it out or swallows it.

I would have another consequence though for when he holds food. Like when outside time is over, don't allow him to participate in movie time or another of his favorite activities. At his age, he is old enough to understand consequences (loss of privilege) for something he did earlier so the consequence doesn't have to happen immediately...kwim?

[Kabob]

I'd start him eating first... About 15 minutes before the others... Then at the thirty minute mark the others should still be eating... Then I'd take his plate.

I could try that. My only concern is that he would have to wait quietly until the others finish or else they won't finish their meal or they will get distracted. Then if he figures out he will have to wait until the others are done then he'll do the hamster thing to make them wait again....maybe I'm being overly pessimistic. It's been a long day...

[Kabob]

I don't think it's fair to the others to not be told the next activity as that is part of the learning process for many.

I would have a consequence for the DCB when he does that. Watch him closely at every meal. Try to intercept him grabbing food by not having anything within reach of him and maybe not let the kids get up from the table until you actually excuse them. Don't excuse DCB until all the food has been removed.

If he is holding food in his mouth, do exactly what you did and have him sit next to you until he either spits it out or swallows it.

I would have another consequence though for when he holds food. Like when outside time is over, don't allow him to participate in movie time or another of his favorite activities. At his age, he is old enough to understand consequences (loss of privilege) for something he did earlier so the consequence doesn't have to happen immediately...kwim?

I already don't allow them to be excused until I say so...him and his brothers rarely like anything I make so I have them wait quietly until the others are done before they go play or else the others get upset. I don't care if they don't eat but it's not fair to the ones that do want to eat to watch the others play without even taking a bite. I made that sound complicated. Anyway...this is just a weird situation...I hope tomorrow goes better...he did quit screaming when he didn't get his way with me being consistent....just would stink to have another day of his behavior....

[Blackcat31]

I already don't allow them to be excused until I say so...him and his brothers rarely like anything I make so I have them wait quietly until the others are done before they go play or else the others get upset. I don't care if they don't eat but it's not fair to the ones that do want to eat to watch the others play without even taking a bite. I made that sound complicated. Anyway...this is just a weird situation...I hope tomorrow goes better...he did quit screaming when he didn't get his way with me being consistent....just would stink to have another day of his behavior....

That is exactly why I wouldn't let his odd behavior have any affect on you/others or your daily plans.

If he wants to hold food in his mouth, let him. Just don't let him play. Make him go outside when the rest of you do but have him sit until it's gone.

If you are in the house, let him sit until it's gone.

Don't let him use holding food as a means to get out of going outside or moving to the next activity.

I probably wouldn't normally suggest that but I think this isn't food, eating or sensory related but more of a control issue so don't let it control the day's activities.

Have him be your shadow if he has any food in his mouth.

Little buggar Bet once he figures out that holding food isn't going to stop you from moving forward with the daily activities he will quit it.

[Kabob]

That is exactly why I wouldn't let his odd behavior have any affect on you/others or your daily plans.

If he wants to hold food in his mouth, let him. Just don't let him play. Make him go outside when the rest of you do but have him sit until it's gone.

If you are in the house, let him sit until it's gone.

Don't let him use holding food as a means to get out of going outside or moving to the next activity.

I probably wouldn't normally suggest that but I think this isn't food, eating or sensory related but more of a control issue so don't let it control the day's activities.

Have him be your shadow if he has any food in his mouth.

Little buggar Bet once he figures out that holding food isn't going to stop you from moving forward with the daily activities he will quit it.

Yeah. It was SO HARD not giving him attention for it and making him sit instead of play....it was so nice outside so I felt terrible...even dh commented later that he felt annoyed just watching me and said he was amazed I was so calm instead of calling his mom or something.

Sorry I sound annoyed...it really was a long day and having it end like that was frustrating. Definitely not letting him control tomorrow. The more I think about it the more it seems to be a control thing too...just a new tactic since I ruined the other ones...

[Laurel]

I've never encountered this issue so I need ideas in case it happens again...

3 yo dcb was eating carrots at snack time. It is soooo nice outside lately so I told the kids that we would be going outside again after snack time. 3 yo dcb hates outdoor time (or anything he doesn't want to do really). I told him it is so nice out that we will he going outside anyway. So he starts to eat veeeeeery slowly. I ignore. All the other kids finish and excitedly start collecting their shoes and putting them on. 3 yo dcb declares he is done so I tell him to clean up and get his shoes. Apparently he held on to a carrot and popped it in his mouth just as he was putting on his shoes. I saw of course since he was the last one to get his shoes. I told him that he needed to eat the carrot at the table because he could choke, so food is not allowed in the mouth while playing. He proceeded to sit on the floor and clamped his mouth shut and refused to move. After waiting 5 minutes for him to do something (chew, move to the designated spot, etc), I carried him outside so that the other kids could play. I sat him next to me and told him that he could go play after he either chooses to spit out the carrot or swallow the carrot. He sat there for an entire hour with that carrot in his mouth staring at the ground. He has done this before on a mild level (tried to grab food as he was leaving the table or tried to leave the table with food in his mouth) but never has he done it to this extent. What can I do to prevent this again? Even making sure he has nothing in his hands next time, he still likes to stick food in his mouth and then sit there and pout when the other kids leave the table to go to the next activity. I can't just leave him alone nor can I force the other kids to wait for him (which I think is what he wants since he only does this when he doesn't want to do the next activity).

I think what you did was fine. I'm not sure why you feel bad about him sitting for an hour. It was his choice. If he doesn't like to be outside he was probably fine just sitting.

Maybe find something he likes to do inside and bring it outside. Sit it on the table but not within reach. Tell him he can do it when he gets rid of the carrot. Just make sure it is something that all the children can do as well so they don't feel he gets a special activity when he doesn't follow the rules.

Laurel

[SilverSabre25]

I wouldn't have let him make that choice for an hour. After ten minutes or so I think I would have just reached over, grabbed his face, gotten the mouth open, fished out the carrot, and removed it while saying, "I can see you're having a hard time making this choice, so I'm going to make it for you. Spit out the carrot [then when he probably doesn't go through the process to remove it] Thank you. It's not safe to hold food in your mouth. You don't have to play, but you can't keep the carrot."

He's only three. It's possible he didn't fully understand the choice you gave him--I've had several threes and even fours who couldn't have figured out what to do and would have just sat there with it in their mouth.

I also have one right now who tries to grab food or his cup as he gets up from the table. I have to keep a close eye on him. He's not quite 2 though.

[Kabob]

I wouldn't have let him make that choice for an hour. After ten minutes or so I think I would have just reached over, grabbed his face, gotten the mouth open, fished out the carrot, and removed it while saying, "I can see you're having a hard time making this choice, so I'm going to make it for you. Spit out the carrot [then when he probably doesn't go through the process to remove it] Thank you. It's not safe to hold food in your mouth. You don't have to play, but you can't keep the carrot."

He's only three. It's possible he didn't fully understand the choice you gave him--I've had several threes and even fours who couldn't have figured out what to do and would have just sat there with it in their mouth.

I also have one right now who tries to grab food or his cup as he gets up from the table. I have to keep a close eye on him. He's not quite 2 though.

Unfortunately he clamped his mouth shut. He only swallowed once we got back inside and then immediately asked if he could play...so his motivation was being able to go back inside. He is seriously very stubborn. He used to scream at the top of his lungs if he didn't get his way but he quickly quit doing that when he realized he was being ignored. I didn't feel comfortable physically prying his mouth open. I didn't want to give it that much attention nor did I want him to feel physically attacked...

[Heidi]

That is exactly why I wouldn't let his odd behavior have any affect on you/others or your daily plans.

If he wants to hold food in his mouth, let him. Just don't let him play. Make him go outside when the rest of you do but have him sit until it's gone.

If you are in the house, let him sit until it's gone.

Don't let him use holding food as a means to get out of going outside or moving to the next activity.

I probably wouldn't normally suggest that but I think this isn't food, eating or sensory related but more of a control issue so don't let it control the day's activities.

Have him be your shadow if he has any food in his mouth.

Little buggar Bet once he figures out that holding food isn't going to stop you from moving forward with the daily activities he will quit it.

[MarinaVanessa]

You said so yourself, he doesn't like to go outside to play, why feel bad that he doesn't play? Keep doing what you are doing and if he wants to sit out with food in his mouth let him, he just can't get up from a spot if he has it in his mouth like you . did. Like the other behavior, if you ignore it theres no payoff because he won't get his way.

Holding food in his mouth was, like you said, a stall tactic which you weren't going to let work. If you told him he couldn't go outside if he didn't put his shoes on first then he won't put his shoes on. Don't give him that choice, only choices you want him to choose from.
"We are going outside. You can walk or I can carry you." Then only give him 10 seconds or so to make the choice before making the choice for him. Don't talk about it further. Once outside offer him new choices "Playing with food in your mouth is not safe. you can spit out the food and go play or you can sit here with the food in your mouth." If he chooses to keep the food in hi mouth then let that be his choice and don't let it bother you. I think if you keep doing what you are doing and don't give a lot of attention to this behavior then this will get better too.

Treat outside time like food, offer it but don't force them to participate.