Problems with a crying toddler dcb

[Unregistered]

I have a 4 year old DCB who is fairly well behaved all day until it hits rest time. The rest of the kids are easy to settle but the moment it's time for him to lay down he cries super loud "I need my mama." I've tried different techniques with him. Given him a toy to play with in his cot, book, sat him in another room until he calms down, but nothing soothes him. He refuses to just lay down. Even if laying down is easier than what he puts himself through. He cries so hard that he vomits on himself multiple times. The whole episode is a huge distraction to the other children and the kids don't get settled until it's already been an hour and a half into rest time. Sometimes not at all if DCB is still crying and choking.

I don't know what to do. Rest time used to be simple. I tell the kids it's time to lay down, they listen and are resting within 30 minutes. Is this something to terminate over? Help! I'm going crazy!

[Heidi]

Boy oh boy!

Did he used to nap, and then start this, or it's been a problem from day 1?

If he's otherwise perfectly comfortable with you and your program, then I think it's manipulation and I'd be pretty cold about it.

Have you discussed it with his parents? How is bedtime?

[Unregistered]

I have spoken to his mom about it before and have sent him home for the vomiting on the first day just because of protocol but now I know that he's not sick and he's just crying so hard. It seems that he's so used to having his mom for bed times and rest times. His grandfather was watching him for a few months before me and just couldn't take it anymore when it came to rest times that the mother was pretty much forced to have to pay out of pocket for daycare. I'm not really sure what more I can do if this is a daily thing. It's been 2 weeks and it's getting to be a big problem. I'm very firm with rest time and I've been having to separate him from the resting kids so he can do his crying but of course it's really loud and the vomiting makes me have to be tending to him instead of the the other children who are settling down for rest time. IDK what to do!

[Unregistered]

I have spoken to his mom about it before and have sent him home for the vomiting on the first day just because of protocol but now I know that he's not sick and he's just crying so hard. It seems that he's so used to having his mom for bed times and rest times. His grandfather was watching him for a few months before me and just couldn't take it anymore when it came to rest times that the mother was pretty much forced to have to pay out of pocket for daycare. I'm not really sure what more I can do if this is a daily thing. It's been 2 weeks and it's getting to be a big problem. I'm very firm with rest time and I've been having to separate him from the resting kids so he can do his crying but of course it's really loud and the vomiting makes me have to be tending to him instead of the other children who are settling down for rest time. IDK what to do!

[Cradle2crayons]

I have spoken to his mom about it before and have sent him home for the vomiting on the first day just because of protocol but now I know that he's not sick and he's just crying so hard. It seems that he's so used to having his mom for bed times and rest times. His grandfather was watching him for a few months before me and just couldn't take it anymore when it came to rest times that the mother was pretty much forced to have to pay out of pocket for daycare. I'm not really sure what more I can do if this is a daily thing. It's been 2 weeks and it's getting to be a big problem. I'm very firm with rest time and I've been having to separate him from the resting kids so he can do his crying but of course it's really loud and the vomiting makes me have to be tending to him instead of the the other children who are settling down for rest time. IDK what to do!

So he co sleeps at home? Or just for nap time??

If so, I'd explain to mom that if it continues, you will have to have him either picked up at nap time every day or term them.

Put it on mom to fix. She obviously knows it's a problem.

Here is nothing wrong with co sleeping but when it causes this kind of problem.... It IS wrong and it's he parents responsibility to fix what they have caused.

Good luck op.

[Heidi]

So he co sleeps at home? Or just for nap time??

If so, I'd explain to mom that if it continues, you will have to have him either picked up at nap time every day or term them.

Put it on mom to fix. She obviously knows it's a problem.

Here is nothing wrong with co sleeping but when it causes this kind of problem.... It IS wrong and it's he parents responsibility to fix what they have caused.

Good luck op.

Perhaps he has a special blanket or stuffed animal that he can have ONLY for nap time?

BTW, I wouldn't call a 4 year old a toddler. He may very well not like the whole situation, but that doesn't mean he can't learn to deal with it, and he's certainly old enough to manipulate. I'd just continue to be kind but firm. "Everyone rests here..that is not a choice. You can choose where you rest, and what you rest with, but everyone rests".

[Unregistered]

Just spoke to the DCM and asked her what his sleep schedule is like at home and what his bedtime/naptime routine consists of. She says he basically just gets to fall asleep whenever he gets tired and isn't required to lay down at a certain time. For night time he sometimes sleeps in his bed and sometimes sleeps with mom and dad depending on his mood.

I asked her if she thought that on days off she could set a scheduled rest time for him where he is told that it's rest time and has to lay down. I also asked if at night she could do something similar so that when he is here at daycare he doesn't freak out every time I tell him that it's time to rest. I told her I am pretty firm here and that the other kids adjusted after only a few days but that her son has been here a few weeks and things are not getting better.

I may regret this, but I told her we'll try another two weeks to get him adjusted to rest time and that if at the end of the two weeks he is still not improving then I she will either have to have someone pick him up for rest time or I'll have to terminate care for him since it's a big distraction for the other children who need their rest. She seemed understanding.

[sharlan]

I have the same problem with my 19 mo. He would scream bloody murder until I'm sure the cops are on their way. He could scream for over an hour without stopping. I tried everything - rocking him, lying down with him and patting his back - nothing. I tried a pack and play and a sleep mat.

I was at the point of terming, but decided to give him one more week when we worked things out.

I now lay him down on the sofa in the family room and he falls asleep within minutes. I would rather he be in the playroom with the other kids, but this is what works best for both of us.