Setting Up Social Events With DCFs

[Josiegirl]

Do all of you do that? Such as Mother's Day breakfasts or picnics, etc. I have never done that.
I'm too shy and introverted to feel comfortable doing it. But I know I need to. I wanted to have a cookie exchange at Christmas time but never got up the nerve. Now with summer coming, my plan is to convert my backyard into more of a natural playscape. I have some dcds who do construction and that type of thing, they have trucks, access to many many natural resources and would be a tremendous asset to my plans, not to mention help save me loads of money! But I can't just say 'come help me'. I need to offer a picnic or pizza or something. I just feel so darn awkward in social situations.
Any suggestions??
I think one of my biggest fears is if they got to know me outside the dc, they wouldn't really like me. Yeh, I have so much self-esteem.

[snbauser]

I do 3 family events each year.

I do a spaghetti dinner in December for currently enrolled families on a Friday at around 5:30. Quick and easy and doesn't require a whole lot of social interaction from me because the adults all sit and eat together while I take care of the kids and get them fed and keep them entertained. I bill it as a time for parents to sit and enjoy a hot meal without worrying about the kids. My gift to them for the holidays.

Then at the beginning of June we do a graduation/end of year celebration since I only do preschool and prek. It is done at 4:30 in the afternoon on a Friday, consists of a small/short ceremony, slide show, cookies/fruit/juice.

Then towards the mid-end of June I do a big cookout on a Saturday around 4:00. This is for all of my current, former, and new families starting in Aug. There are so many people there that it doesn't require a whole lot of socialization by me. I make BBQ, hams and hots, salads, and snacks, put up my waterslide and bounce house, and let the families hang out. My parents seem to really enjoy the fact that they get to know the parents of the kids that their kids are with all day. I like the fact that I get to see the kids who have graduated my program.

[sahm1225]

I do two major events for the year. We do our Christmas party with a special visit from santa and a summer fundraiser party.

The summer party started out as a fundraiser to raise money to buy daycare tshirts. It was in the backyard with lots of outdoor toys for the kids to play with, we grilled hotdogs and had chips, dips, fruits, etc. We raised enough for the t-shirts and extra to help pay for our beautiful outdoor playhouse. The parents had such a good time that they asked about having one last year, so we did. We sold raffle tickets (we raffled off some toys I had bought, some Bulls memorabilia that a dcd donated since he had season tickets and got tons of free stuff, a date at a local mini-golf course that we had donated and a free day of daycare). We raised just enough to pay for the gifts from santa to the kids and some of the food at the party.

Because of all the running around it takes to get the party going, I don't HAVE to socialize very much, which is nice. But as long as I can get everything ready to go beforehand, I get to hang out with the kids and talk to as many or as few parents as I want to.

I would recommend setting up a fundraiser summer party. Talk about what it is that you want to do to the backyard and that you were hoping for some ideas from them too. Then you could always say that you will invite them back for another party, sort of a grand opening once it's completed?

And about the parents not liking you - you're crazy! You interviewed with them, right? That means that you already sold yourself to them. You're in happyface.

[rosieteddy]

I choose to not do any group activities.My currant parents however do get together socially.The women have gone out to dinner and families have planned their own beach/playground meets. I found that the children push the rules when thier parents are together and noone listens to me(children).The usual rules are not followed on the playyard and I felt I was just doing longer care with no pay.I applaud all that can carry this off though.

[Laurel]

Do all of you do that? Such as Mother's Day breakfasts or picnics, etc. I have never done that.
I'm too shy and introverted to feel comfortable doing it. But I know I need to. I wanted to have a cookie exchange at Christmas time but never got up the nerve. Now with summer coming, my plan is to convert my backyard into more of a natural playscape. I have some dcds who do construction and that type of thing, they have trucks, access to many many natural resources and would be a tremendous asset to my plans, not to mention help save me loads of money! But I can't just say 'come help me'. I need to offer a picnic or pizza or something. I just feel so darn awkward in social situations.
Any suggestions??
I think one of my biggest fears is if they got to know me outside the dc, they wouldn't really like me. Yeh, I have so much self-esteem.

I've never had any desire to socialize with my clients so don't. I don't feel guilty about it one bit.

A time or two I have been invited to a daycare child's family birthday party and while the people were nice I didn't know most of the people there and I didn't like being there so decided to decline all further invitations.

Laurel

[NeedaVaca]

I've never had any desire to socialize with my clients so don't. I don't feel guilty about it one bit.

A time or two I have been invited to a daycare child's family birthday party and while the people were nice I didn't know most of the people there and I didn't like being there so decided to decline all further invitations.

Laurel

Same here and my weekends/free time with my own family is too important to me. My own kids/family are my focus when I'm not working, I would not want to give that time up.

[Starburst]

Do all of you do that? Such as Mother's Day breakfasts or picnics, etc. I have never done that.
I'm too shy and introverted to feel comfortable doing it. But I know I need to. I wanted to have a cookie exchange at Christmas time but never got up the nerve. Now with summer coming, my plan is to convert my backyard into more of a natural playscape. I have some dcds who do construction and that type of thing, they have trucks, access to many many natural resources and would be a tremendous asset to my plans, not to mention help save me loads of money! But I can't just say 'come help me'. I need to offer a picnic or pizza or something. I just feel so darn awkward in social situations.
Any suggestions??
I think one of my biggest fears is if they got to know me outside the dc, they wouldn't really like me. Yeh, I have so much self-esteem.

That's one of my fears too. I have had friends who I'm no longer friend with and I think eventually it got to the point where I don't try to form anything more than an acquaintanceship with people because I figure that if they do get to know me that they won't like me anymore and will just wind up leaving anyway (maybe we should start an introvert group, ).

I have thought of some daycare family gathering ideas (voluntary; some depend on your age groups):
Graduation, Grade Promotion, or End of The School Year Celebration (especially if you offer preschool, private kinder, BS/AS care, or have homeschoolers)
Family Talent Show
Puppet Show
Poetry Slam Night (or Story telling night)
Short Play (or Skits)
Movie Night
Game Night
BBQ Party
Bond Fire
Easter Egg Hunt (maybe the day before Easter or that Friday after closing)
Halloween Party
Christmas Party (a few days before Christmas)
New Years Party (kid friendly)

[bklsmum]

When I have had holiday parties for the daycare I have invited the parents and kids who are not in normal attendance that day to the party but haven't, as of yet, had an actual party for the families. My ds is graduating HS this year so I am throwing a huge grad bash for him that all the families are invited to but I am also thinking about doing a small BBQ just for the DCF's the night before since everything will already be all set up.

[Laurel]

Just have to chime in here about all the Introvert comments.

If you've ever heard of the Myers Briggs personality tests you maybe be surprised (as I was) as to what their definition of an introvert is.

Generally, Myers Briggs is useful and used by some companies to pair people for projects based on their personality types. For example, one person in a group may be more of a dreamer type and has great ideas and but is not so good at implementing them. Whereas, someone with a different personality type might not be able to think of good ideas but given one can get right on implementing an idea wonderfully. Neither one is good or bad...just different.

My daughter got into this Myers Briggs stuff as a hobby but actually took the classes to get certified to administer personality tests. She was just in the classes for fun but she said most were there because they were in Human Resources at their company and the company sent them.

Here is an overview of what an introvert and extrovert really is. http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-p...troversion.asp

Basically what she told me is that we all have a little bit of everything in us but we simply feel more comfortable or energized by certain things.

For example, she did the official test with me and I tested as an Introvert. I told her I like parties (sometimes) and like to go where the excitement is but that I also value my down and alone time. I like to go out and have fun but after a night out I am so happy to get home and relax and most probably will want to spend a quiet day alone the next day. She said this is typical. It isn't necessarily that introverts don't like to be out and about but more like they just need more down time in between. We are not generally shop till you droppers and then can go out and shop till we drop the next day again. That kind of thing.

It is not that one is superior to the other it is just a preference that we are born with...I guess. Like she is an introvert also and is more the artsy type. She paints as a hobby. However, her job is in computer security and she is a whiz at fixing computer glitches. Her job is very technical. She says because of her personality type she would probably be more at home with a less technical type of occupation. But that is the thing, we CAN all do both. We may be one way at work and one way at home. However, if we pick according to our preference we may be more satisfied at work. She just has to put on her 'technical hat' at work but may be more drained at the end of the day then if she picked a job according to her natural preference. Just an example.

So all this to say that introvert doesn't automatically mean shy as you'll see by the link.

It is really very interesting to hear her talk about it all.

Laurel

[NeedaVaca]

That's one of my fears too. I have had friends who I'm no longer friend with and I think eventually it got to the point where I don't try to form anything more than an acquaintanceship with people because I figure that if they do get to know me that they won't like me anymore and will just wind up leaving anyway (maybe we should start an introvert group, ).

I have thought of some daycare family gathering ideas (voluntary; some depend on your age groups):
Graduation, Grade Promotion, or End of The School Year Celebration (especially if you offer preschool, private kinder, BS/AS care, or have homeschoolers)
Family Talent Show
Puppet Show
Poetry Slam Night (or Story telling night)
Short Play (or Skits)
Movie Night
Game Night
BBQ Party
Bond Fire
Easter Egg Hunt (maybe the day before Easter or that Friday after closing)
Halloween Party
Christmas Party (a few days before Christmas)
New Years Party (kid friendly)

I find this to be so sad This doesn't sound like an introvert issue but more fear of abandonment, fear of failure and self esteem issues. Friends will always come and go, if you are very lucky you will have a handful of friends that will last til the end. If someone is truly happier alone or with family that is one thing but afraid to make friends for the reasons you mentioned is entirely different.

[2grls4us]

My husband and I have discussed having a bbq or just having the families over one at a time for dinner as a "get to know you and thank you" type thing.


I think you should have your plans wrote out or planned out and ask if any of them have any advise for you or input because they are familiar with the materials and may be able to give you some help. I think as a parent they would like to help it is for their children's benefit after all. If they choose to offer help or advise great if not that's their choice too. Good Luck

[jenn]

I've never had any desire to socialize with my clients so don't. I don't feel guilty about it one bit.

A time or two I have been invited to a daycare child's family birthday party and while the people were nice I didn't know most of the people there and I didn't like being there so decided to decline all further invitations.

Laurel

We have a pool (never used for daycare) and love have BBQs and parties, just not with daycare people. I am so glad when Friday gets here! I spend more time than I would really like to with the kids, and drop off/pick up is more than enough time for me with the parents! I do not offer anything outside of daycare hours and do not offer to do anything other than "normal" during day care hours, no special celebrations or get togethers.
Do whatever you feel comfortable with, but understand that you are under no obligation to do anything special for the families. If you are doing a party just to not feel guilty asking for their help, there are other things you could do that might feel more comfortable and take less effort. Request the help you need and then offer each family that helps a free day or evening of daycare. Offer to watch the kids on a Saturday while the parent helps with your yard.

[KiddieCahoots]

Feel like I eat, sleep, breath, day care!!! So I personally don't want to give up anymore energies to day care. Besides, I've been mentioning certain dcp's lately, I'm still working with that are just down right, nosy, condescending, snots, that I'm sure would ruin it for most, especially me.

If your up for it, think sahm1225 had some great ideas to take the attention off of you. A pot luck might be helpful too, so you don't have to do all the fixin's yourself. Maybe get some games ready for the kids too, so they have less of a chance to act out. Have a written schedule of how you want the day to go, that way you can concentrate on that instead of your own anxieties.
And even though I can relate to your insecurities......I'm sure they already like you, because they trust you with their children

[originalkat]

Fall Festival in October- End of day on a Friday and all the parents come and then leave early. It is a lot of work but I get so many compliments and like doing it.

Christmas Program in December- We work on a program and the kids sing. We have cookies afterwards and I give the kids their gifts. We usually hold it at a community center so there is enough room.This is my least favorite event because it takes so much work and is during such a busy time of year.

Graduation in May- We have this in the yard on a weekday evening. The kids who are leaving for KG wear caps and gowns and I have some songs and music and say a little speech. I order a cake and get the kids graduation bears. I really love this event.

Sometimes I wonder why I do all of these things. But I guess they are just traditions I created and follow through with each year. I would not do any event unless I felt comfortable to do so. I do not think you should or need to. Do it if you want to and have the desire. Otherwise dont sweat it.

One fun thing a friend of mine did was have a scrapbook night and all the parents came and made a scrapbook page to add to the class book.

[Meeko]

I'm a very outgoing person, but I have no desire to entertain my daycare parents. They are not my friends. We have a friend-LY relationship, but that's it for the most part. In the nearly 30 years I've done this, I have become "real" friends with only 2 or 3 parents.

The manager of the local store doesn't have me over to dinner because I shop there. The school principal doesn't feel he needs to ask me over because my daughter is in his school. We say hello and exchange pleasantries. Same with me and my daycare parents.

I save my backyard BBQ's for people I actually want to hang with!

This is just my opinion BTW. Kudos to those who do the entertaining thing with clients and enjoy it. It's just not my cup 'o tea.