My First Family Is Leaving...

[taylorw1210]

And I am having a bunch of mixed emotions about it.

First off - it's the family in this thread I recently started: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69786

I've had them since I opened (a little over a year ago) and got a text from DCM today that said, "Hi, Taylor. We have decided that with DCD needing to replace his vehicle and the behavior issues with A, we need to pull the kids from daycare. There last day will be April 11th. We will be in touch over the Summer to discuss a deposit sufficient to hold FT places starting again with the new school year if you're willing. Thank you so much for all you do! See you Monday."

Obviously I'm sad. I've had the DCB (4) and DCG (9 months) for over a year and I really love this family. I've has the baby since she was 6 weeks old and finally have her on a good schedule and everything has been great. I'm not worried about anything on the income end.

But I still cannot help but feel like maybe the recent issues with their son becoming violent (he had an issue with hitting a 2 yo DCB on Friday, after the incident where he hit me, so it's continuing) and how I dealt with it with them has put them off and that's why they've decided to pull their children. Or they feel that I am not providing properly for their children thus the behavior issues.

Or, should I feel relieved that they are being proactive and attempting to correct the behavior that they see is progressively getting worse? (DCM admitted on Friday that the same violent behavior has been occurring for months now at home but is just now starting to leak over into daycare life).

Or maybe I'm just being overly sensitive about this because it's my first family who has pulled from my care.

[cheerfuldom]

Who is taking care of the kids for now? I am assuming they found free care since she mentioned one of the reasons she is pulling is because they have car expenses. I would bet this is 99% about getting free or very cheap care somewhere else and not really about you or the behavior issues.

[TwinKristi]

Yeah I guess I would be curious about this as well. Who's going to take care of them now? And I wouldn't think they question your capabilities because she mentions bringing them back next Fall?
It always ****s when they give notice. I had the same thing happen. DCB was just really having a hard time and behaving worse and worse (was only 20mos) and mom was really pushing my illness policy to new limits! I was ready to term after replacing him when I got notice about a FT baby and then a PT PreK DCB and then the family I wanted to term gave me about 3 mos notice. it's all worked out for the best, I watch him once a month on a drop in basis and I am so happy things ended on a mutual note. They moved him to a Jr Preschool class at his sisters PreK location. One stop for mom so easier for her.

[taylorw1210]

Who is taking care of the kids for now? I am assuming they found free care since she mentioned one of the reasons she is pulling is because they have car expenses. I would bet this is 99% about getting free or very cheap care somewhere else and not really about you or the behavior issues.

I would assume the grandparents are going to be assuming childcare responsibilities. The DCD works a split shift and is technically home Wednesdays and Thursdays, but they were brought to daycare anyways. He is also technically home Mondays and Tuesdays but works evening shift those days. Grandparents are very active with the kids.

I have a feeling that this is mostly about financial concerns, but I still have that little voice in the back of my head questioning if I handled the DCB's recent acts of violence incorrectly which lead to her pulling both kids. I really do not feel like pulling this boy will correct any of his behaviors, but rather escalate them - but I am not the parents so I keep reminding myself that I have to disconnect.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Let it roll off you like water off a duck's back. If you stay in this for the long run, there are going to be many, many DCFs coming and going through your life. In 12 years, I can't even think of how many families I've had, but it's a lot, and about 75% of my DCKs are here birth to Kinder.

As long as you know you are providing high-quality care, nothing else matters. Daycare is one of the biggest expenses most families will ever have for their kids before college, and if a cheaper option that is at the very least "Okay for now," they will take it.

[taylorw1210]

Let it roll off you like water off a duck's back. If you stay in this for the long run, there are going to be many, many DCFs coming and going through your life. In 12 years, I can't even think of how many families I've had, but it's a lot, and about 75% of my DCKs are here birth to Kinder.

As long as you know you are providing high-quality care, nothing else matters. Daycare is one of the biggest expenses most families will ever have for their kids before college, and if a cheaper option that is at the very least "Okay for now," they will take it.

Thank you.

I had her fill out my withdraw form today and she stated on there again that she wanted to bring the kids back in the Fall if I have the space, and would recommend me, just that they are having financial challenges. I think this wouldn't have bothered me so much if there weren't the behavior issues right before her giving notice. It seems like majority of the issue is finances, though, so I'm feeling better...

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Every family i have had who brought up "financial issues" always left again (or for the first time if I made accommodations) a little later. It has, unfortunately, become a bright, red flag to me and little sirens go off in my head. ::

[butterfly]

I bet the behavior issues are more due to having a somewhat new sibling in the home and fighting for attention, rather than anything you could have done. I wouldn't worry about what you have or haven't done well enough for them. :hug:

[taylorw1210]

Every family i have had who brought up "financial issues" always left again (or for the first time if I made accommodations) a little later. It has, unfortunately, become a bright, red flag to me and little sirens go off in my head. ::

Yea, I can see how that would be a bright red flag. DCD was laid off for 8 weeks earlier in the year and they still kept the kids here FT. But now with needing a new vehicle maybe they are hoping to save their DC money for a car? I have not responded when she as mentioned twice that she hopes to be bad in the fall. I would be happy to take them back if I had the space... but I won't be holding anything.

I bet the behavior issues are more due to having a somewhat new sibling in the home and fighting for attention, rather than anything you could have done. I wouldn't worry about what you have or haven't done well enough for them. :hug:

Thank you for the kind words. There's something going on, for sure. His behavior with me is far, far better than at home so hopefully his parents figure out what needs to change so things get better soon!