Trying Very Hard Not To Be Bitter

[SignMeUp]

Wishing you the best

You did a good thing. And they are gone now. And you won't take them back; you will make the decision that's right for you as to how or if you respond

I'm dealing with a "situation" too. Your thread is one of the first I was interested in when I found this site. That was before my own "situation" came to light.

I made a decision that I can live with. It's not the right one financially, but I can hold my head up knowing that I did things right. And with respect and even kindness, even though the parents did not deserve all of that.

You can hold yours up too. You did a kind thing, not based on finances, but right for your heart and mind. They took advantage of that, whether they realize it or not, but that doesn't lessen your kindness.

I respect that.

[cheerfuldom]

I would totally all her out on it

Dear Pam, I received your inquiry regarding part time spots for X and Y. I have always enjoyed working with your children however, I feel that your actions when we last parted ways has ruined forever our working relationship. I am not interested working with a parent that happily uses my services when receiving a generous discount yet leaves me immediately when that discounted time is coming to an end. Nor am I willing to work with a parent that makes the situation worse by other insensitive actions. I am surprised to hear from you considering how poorly things ended between us after 3 years of working together but again, I am not interested in continuing our working relationship in any way. Please do not contact me again. As I have already expressed to you, our business relationship is done. I will no longer respond to any communication from you.

[Tasha]

I would totally all her out on it

Dear Pam, I received your inquiry regarding part time spots for X and Y. I have always enjoyed working with your children however, I feel that your actions when we last parted ways has ruined forever our working relationship. I am not interested working with a parent that happily uses my services when receiving a generous discount yet leaves me immediately when that discounted time is coming to an end. Nor am I willing to work with a parent that makes the situation worse by other insensitive actions. I am surprised to hear from you considering how poorly things ended between us after 3 years of working together but again, I am not interested in continuing our working relationship in any way. Please do not contact me again. As I have already expressed to you, our business relationship is done. I will no longer respond to any communication from you.

Cheerfuldom, you nailed it! I'm going to take parts of this, if you don't mind, and I'm going to throw in a few of my own thoughts and reply this afternoon. I'm glad I let it marinate for awhile, and I wonder what she is really thinking because I thought I made myself crystal clear when I shipped her socks back.

[Josiegirl]

Sure, for 5x the money. After all, it is part time and you need to recap some of your lost income from being so kind.
I can't believe the audacity of that woman. Did she really think you'd jump at the chance to be treated like dirt again??

[KidGrind]

I have not replied yet, I thought I'd let it sit awhile until I figure out precisely what I want to say, but there is absolutely no way I would take that family back and have to deal with her again! I got a lot of satisfaction from her email, which said that she'd like to bring the girls back part-time ''to give Mom a little break during the week if that would be okay.'' She wants to "move forward'' and put the past behind us. Right.

Good morning Mrs. Ingrate,

I received your inquiry concerning part-time. I am currently interviewing families requiring full-time care.

I am sure _______ and ________ are enjoying Grandma! Moving forward, I hope you find part-time care which meets your needs.

Good luck,

The Best D*mn Provider You’ll Ever Have

This DCM has way too much nerve. Other posters nailed it when they predicted it would NOT be Candy Land at Grandma’s!

I had to edit this post to add:

*&^% @#!

I know you are not going to do this but if it were me. I would say sure _______ and __________ can come back for part-time care. The part-time registration fee is $______ <-----( Would be the six months of income I sacrificed during their time of need.)

[JoseyJo]

Good morning Mrs. Ingrate,

I received your inquiry concerning part-time. I am currently interviewing families requiring full-time care.

I am sure _______ and ________ are enjoying Grandma! Moving forward, I hope you find part-time care which meets your needs.

Good luck,

The Best D*mn Provider You’ll Ever Have

As much as I would WANT to email back one of the other responses, in the end I would stick with this one. Not stooping to her level would make me feel better in the long run.

[cheerfuldom]

As much as I would WANT to email back one of the other responses, in the end I would stick with this one. Not stooping to her level would make me feel better in the long run.

I could see the benefit of either letter and support whichever the OP chooses, however, I dont think my letter is stooping to her level. It was direct but yes, specific in why I would say no. There was no name calling, pulling the children into the argument, lies or anything else that i would consider "stooping". I think sometimes parents really do need a "hey, you cant treat people that way" wake-up call.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I could see the benefit of either letter and support whichever the OP chooses, however, I dont think my letter is stooping to her level. It was direct but yes, specific in why I would say no. There was no name calling, pulling the children into the argument, lies or anything else that i would consider "stooping". I think sometimes parents really do need a "hey, you cant treat people that way" wake-up call.

If we called more people out on their BAD behavior there might be less of it. But, instead we live in a society where people can do as they wish and no one says anything.

[Crazy8]

wow, the nerve!!!! When I saw this post bumped I hoped it was an update… did not expect her to be coming back looking for care so soon though, LOL!!!

Please DO NOT take this family back!!! I think now is the perfect time to send a little of the points from KidGrind's original letter along with the "not interested" response.

[spinnymarie]

I'd go with this one, from PP:
Good morning Mrs. Ingrate,

I received your inquiry concerning part-time. I am currently interviewing families requiring full-time care.

I am sure _______ and ________ are enjoying Grandma! Moving forward, I hope you find part-time care which meets your needs.

Good luck,

The Best D*mn Provider You’ll Ever Have

The only reason I wouldn't get into a 'why' letter is because I wouldn't want to string it out any longer. She's already shown you what she does when she's PO'd and I wouldn't want to get into that again. She said let's leave the past behind, so no reason to bring it back up.

[Cradle2crayons]

Good morning Mrs. Ingrate,

I received your inquiry concerning part-time. I am currently interviewing families requiring full-time care.

I am sure _______ and ________ are enjoying Grandma! Moving forward, I hope you find part-time care which meets your needs.

Good luck,

The Best D*mn Provider You’ll Ever Have

This DCM has way too much nerve. Other posters nailed it when they predicted it would NOT be Candy Land at Grandma’s!

I had to edit this post to add:

*&^% @#!

I know you are not going to do this but if it were me. I would say sure _______ and __________ can come back for part-time care. The part-time registration fee is $______ <-----( Would be the six months of income I sacrificed during their time of need.)

I third the above response!!!! Except mine would likely contain more bleeps...

[MotherNature]

Oh Wow! I hadn't read the updates about the terming and her behaviour during it. I CAN'T believe she had the nerve to ask you to let the kids come back. She is living on another planet! Glad you stuck to your guns and I hope you sent Cheerfuldom's &KidGrind's letters to her. Those were great responses. I hope you get a great family to fill their spots.

[Naptime yet?]

DCM made her bed, now let her lie in it. Sorry grandmaw, should have thought things through a bit before quitting your job.

[wdmmom]

Here's my tidbit of advice:

1.) Never offer SPECIAL to ANYONE EVER. Parents want what they want to better their particular situation. No one ever considers what they provider NEEDS to survive.

2.) The only thing I would have done differently is adjust their hours so that maybe they were using less care, hense making their weekly payment a little less. That's as far as I do in terms of special. Use less, pay less.

3.) In the future you may consider altering your contract termination policy. My current policy is ONE CALENDAR MONTH NOTICE PER CHILD. In this case, you could have earned back 1/3rd of what you offered for free. Definitely not the whole enchilada but you could have walked away feeling not so taken.

4.) If you are like me, this job is your only one and your livelihood! You shouldn't have to sacrifice eating steak and salmon for dinner to eat pot pies and hotdogs. You deserve to continue your lifestyle. Just because someone else's changes doesn't mean you need to change yours. This family could have figured out a suitable arrangement rather than coming to you begging for free! Now that the lesson is learned, move on and don't allow it to happen again.

[Shell]

My response would be simple : I have no intention of continuing care for your children and would appreciate no further contact. I sent almost the exact response to someone once - short and to the point. No emotion.