Frustrated

[cara041083]

I received a text at 4 am this morning, and it was from the mom of the 3 year old and baby I watch that said:

******* has been screaming all night that she doesn't want to come to your house and she has kept us up all night so we are just gona let her stay home today.

I have NO problem with this girl when she is here, but she is a holy terror for her parents and they just let her do it. No matter what this lil girl wants they give it to her. One of the problems is they get here at 630 am. Well at first it was fine because it was the same time every day. Well the parents got married 3 weeks ago and so they will come for 2 days then stay with a family for a day and then come for a day and stay home for 2 days. I have tried to explain to the mom that if they don't have a schedule everyday then its gona make it harder. I saw on FB that the mom is making comments about trying to figure out a way to stay home. Its so frustrating. The mom is nice to me and I don't have any issues with her. How should I handle it? I don't want to be rude and tell her that the problem is her but Im at my wits ends with trying to get her to understand.

[Blackcat31]

I received a text at 4 am this morning, and it was from the mom of the 3 year old and baby I watch that said:

******* has been screaming all night that she doesn't want to come to your house and she has kept us up all night so we are just gona let her stay home today.

I have NO problem with this girl when she is here, but she is a holy terror for her parents and they just let her do it. No matter what this lil girl wants they give it to her. One of the problems is they get here at 630 am. Well at first it was fine because it was the same time every day. Well the parents got married 3 weeks ago and so they will come for 2 days then stay with a family for a day and then come for a day and stay home for 2 days. I have tried to explain to the mom that if they don't have a schedule everyday then its gona make it harder. I saw on FB that the mom is making comments about trying to figure out a way to stay home. Its so frustrating. The mom is nice to me and I don't have any issues with her. How should I handle it? I don't want to be rude and tell her that the problem is her but Im at my wits ends with trying to get her to understand.

Sometimes part of this job means parent education.

Educating a parent about the importance of consistency in a daily attendance routine for their child is not being rude.

Mom and dad both need to know that their aren't helping their child to adjust and "want" to come to daycare because they aren't being consistent with her attendance. Tell them HOW it will help.

You could find resources about the importance of routines and consistency for a child her age. Print them out and share them with ALL your daycare families.

Parent education is a HUGE part of this profession and in my experience most parents appreciate it because usually along with that education comes support and when others support our efforts, it empowers us to do the right thing.

[Heidi]

Sounds like she wants to stay home, dh probably is not cool with that, and so she's trying to find a way out. Make it your fault, and he may cave.

[llpa]

Sometimes part of this job means parent education.

Educating a parent about the importance of consistency in a daily attendance routine for their child is not being rude.

Mom and dad both need to know that their aren't helping their child to adjust and "want" to come to daycare because they aren't being consistent with her attendance. Tell them HOW it will help.

You could find resources about the importance of routines and consistency for a child her age. Print them out and share them with ALL your daycare families.

Parent education is a HUGE part of this profession and in my experience most parents appreciate it because usually along with that education comes support and when others support our efforts, it empowers us to do the right thing.

I agree! At first I felt like I was insulting my teacher moms thinking well, of course they should know this!however, both of my teacher families thanked me!! They said that when they were in the middle of the issue, they couldn't see to the light at the end. My printed articles for them really helped get them on track and gave them something to refer back to made me feel good too!

[Cradle2crayons]

I agree! At first I felt like I was insulting my teacher moms thinking well, of course they should know this!however, both of my teacher families thanked me!! They said that when they were in the middle of the issue, they couldn't see to the light at the end. My printed articles for them really helped get them on track and gave them something to refer back to made me feel good too!

I have a family like this too,... They actually ASK me for resources to help... And they actually READ them... And ask questions.... She said my objectivity really helps her understand.... I wish I could clone this mom.... Really I do

[debbiedoeszip]

"It's your choice to keep the kids home instead of bringing them to daycare. You will, however, be required to pay the fee for the day. Have a great day and I look forward to seeing <child's name> and <baby's name> tomorrow!"

That is how I would handle it.

[Annalee]

I received a text at 4 am this morning, and it was from the mom of the 3 year old and baby I watch that said:

******* has been screaming all night that she doesn't want to come to your house and she has kept us up all night so we are just gona let her stay home today.

I have NO problem with this girl when she is here, but she is a holy terror for her parents and they just let her do it. No matter what this lil girl wants they give it to her. One of the problems is they get here at 630 am. Well at first it was fine because it was the same time every day. Well the parents got married 3 weeks ago and so they will come for 2 days then stay with a family for a day and then come for a day and stay home for 2 days. I have tried to explain to the mom that if they don't have a schedule everyday then its gona make it harder. I saw on FB that the mom is making comments about trying to figure out a way to stay home. Its so frustrating. The mom is nice to me and I don't have any issues with her. How should I handle it? I don't want to be rude and tell her that the problem is her but Im at my wits ends with trying to get her to understand.

Kids learn real fast what/how to play their parents. Situations like this cause me anger/frustration. Not sure that I have any answers but like BC said "parent education". Some parents respond well to education, some don't. Good luck to you! :hug::hug:

[Shell]

4 a.m.???!!! Ugh! This kind of stuff makes me angry, too. Blackcat is totally right about parent education, but I would be tempted to term. I can't believe they told you the child didn't want to come, and they gave in! That's all I've got

[coolconfidentme]

I've gotten texts at 1am..., & I will reply when I get up... at 4:30am. Tit for tat.

[mountainside13]

:hug::hug: I really hate it when parents say so and so didn't want to come today exc.

I don't mind getting a text from a parent in the middle of the night. I turn my ringer off but have settings for it to ring for emergencies.

[Unregistered]

I'm sorry, if I got a text at 4 in the AM they'd have their things packed the next day. That was rude and juvenile- like "if we have to be up, so do you!" sort of a thing. Wow

[cara041083]

It wasn't so much the text at 4 am that bothered me. I have a 2 month old and so most of the time Im up anyway. I honestly think she did it that early so I knew I would be able to sleep in a bit. They come at 630 and then my next kid doesn't come until 945. I did sit her down and talk to her when she came to pay me. She was telling me how out of wack the kids where with getting up so early and I pointed out that for the past month nothing has bee consistent. So the girls were having a hard time getting on a set scheduled. I told her that in order for things to go more smoothly, then she really needed to eaither stick with it, or decide to stay home. She was very nice and open to speaking with me and she agreed with me. So all and all I do think its going to get better. She just had her second and the oldest thinks shes in charge. But how she acts at home isn't my concern because she is perfect for me and the mom see's that. She has even asked me how I get her to be so good. So I do think this mom is moving in the right direction.

[Blackcat31]

It wasn't so much the text at 4 am that bothered me. I have a 2 month old and so most of the time Im up anyway. I honestly think she did it that early so I knew I would be able to sleep in a bit. They come at 630 and then my next kid doesn't come until 945. I did sit her down and talk to her when she came to pay me. She was telling me how out of wack the kids where with getting up so early and I pointed out that for the past month nothing has bee consistent. So the girls were having a hard time getting on a set scheduled. I told her that in order for things to go more smoothly, then she really needed to eaither stick with it, or decide to stay home. She was very nice and open to speaking with me and she agreed with me. So all and all I do think its going to get better. She just had her second and the oldest thinks shes in charge. But how she acts at home isn't my concern because she is perfect for me and the mom see's that. She has even asked me how I get her to be so good. So I do think this mom is moving in the right direction.

Sometimes it just takes a little bit of communication. I'm glad it sounds like you will be able to work with this family. Continue sharing and offering educational stuff to her.

Having one child is hard for some people, having two completely throws them....maybe she just needs some support getting a routine figured out and someone to help her stay on track with it.

She already sees that her child is different with you.....she asked why, so that tells you she DOES want to work towards some consistency. happyface