3yo Using Swear Words

[daysofelijah]

I have a 3yo that has used the word "dam*it" a couple times, heard it at home of course. I spoke to his mom about it and they are working on not swearing at home and have the talk that he should say "darn it" and dam* it" is a bad word.
Well it keeps coming up every day with this little guy that he has to tell all the other kids that "dam* it is a bad word, and darn it is a good word". So now the mother of another 3yo told me today that her son has been coming home from dc saying "dam* it".
I will be talking to dc mom about it again, and told second daycare mom that I have been trying to address the issue and have been working with first daycare mom on it, and apologized to her, etc.
Any ideas on how to deal with it when it comes up again? Do I put dcb in time out for it, even though he is just repeating what his parents say? Do I just keep on him, telling him that it is not okay to say at Amy's house and hope it passes?

[Lilbutterflie]

I can sympathize. I have a 2 yo DS, and my DH loves to curse. There is nothing I can say to DH that will make him stop, and so my son will occasionally repeat curse words. I guess I'm lucky that so far he hasn't done it while dck's are here!!
I would give a time out for it, and maybe use a reward system if he goes a week without saying that word. Even though he's only repeating his parent's words, he still chooses to use them even though he knows it's wrong.

[Blackcat31]

Oh, I feel for you too! This is a tough one because if the parents are saying it at home, then the child is continually getting that reinforcement because he keeps hearing it over and over. I would definitely stay consistent and use time outs and separation from others EVERY time he using naughty words. If you stay on top of it, he should eventually break his habit and learn alternate language. I had one say "frickin" constantly! It isn't the actual "F" word was what mom kept saying when I complained! Dcb was 3 yrs old. I'm like "Yeah, but it is totally implied, plus, why does he have to say anything remotely like that?" Swearing is always such a hot topic because the parents always say "I have NO idea where they learned that word. We NEVER say it at home." I understand kids pick things up from all kinds of places, but come on...lets work together not against each other. If parents and providers banded together and were proactive all would be great. Well not perfect but better than some of the lame excuses we hear. Good luck!

[Lilbutterflie]

How funny that this question posted today, b/c as I said in my previous post; I haven't had this come up in my daycare yet (I've only been doing this for over a year). Well, today my 4 yo dcb called my DD a **tch!! Wow, he's usually sooo well behaved! I was blown away! He got a timeout, and we talked about using the right words instead of the wrong ones. When I asked him where he got that word from, it was "I dunno".
When his mom picked him up, she was SOOO upset! Apologizing to me and everything. Of course, she said he didn't learn it at home... they don't say those things. "He must be picking it up from his mom" who has him on weekends (she's his step-mom). Anyway, just thought it was ironic!

[Abigail]

When children swear and use naughty words at daycare, do you document what was said and have the parents sign it? We have a 2 1/2 year old boy who kept saying the F bomb and he was put in the time out chair and everytime he said it, we said "That is a naughty word, we don't use naughty words", but I'm not sure how else to handle it. We don't repeat the actual word, but of course all the other kids were listening and never caught the word but they kept asking What did he say? We just repeat, "It doesn't matter, it was a naughty word."

[kidkair]

When preschool kids are using words I don't like I give them an alternative word to use. Dam* and darn are far too close in my opinion. I usually teach the kids to growl when they get mad. Growling releases the tention much better than saying anything and usually makes another kid laugh which then results in everyone having fun again. I don't give timeouts for words either because I don't want to discourage them expressing their opinion of the situation. When kid says *** I immediately say what I want them to say without saying anything before it. So kid says *** I say "GRRRR! You're upset because your tower fell down. So you should say grrr tower up!" Even from the bathroom or kitchen if I hear the word I don't like I shout out what I want them to say in it's place. SA's get "I don't like that word please use Grrr instead while you are here" and time-out if they continue without correcting themselves.