My 3yo Son Is Having Problems With The Daycare :(

[Unregistered]

I started my daycare in November of last year and my son has had a hard time transitioning to other children being in the home. I expected this as I knew it would be a bit hard on everyone getting used to littles being in our space. However, today I just feel like giving it all up. Before this I was a behavioral interventionist and a neuro rehabilitation specialist and felt confident that I could handle behavior problems successfully. The problem is my son. Well, of course he's not a problem. He's my everything but I see his struggle with the other children being here, daily. He's now become aggressive and pushes other children. If he is on time out he will rush another innocent bystander as if he is just giving his misery company. He's even thrown toys at other kids. Thank God no one has gotten seriously hurt. I have to shadow him all day and it gets pretty tiring. He has his own room, his own toys, but claims EVERYTHING as his being that it IS his home. Idk what to do. I stopped working outside of the home to be here with him and his sister who is due in June. He's always been very high strung and no one in my family except my Mother In Law can handle him. He needs very firm yet loving supervision but not everyone has the patience. If my own family members watch him they get so tired of him that they just give him free reign which is EXACTLY what he wants. I feel I'm the only one who is up for the task to deal with his difficult behaviors. I have seen a lot of improvement with him in regards to the daycare but I can't help but to notice that when all the kids are gone, he is an angel. He listens to me, helps me, and rarely gets himself into trouble.

Has anyone else had problems like this with their own children? What did you do to make things easier? Sometimes I feel like I made a bad decision for my child and am scared that his behavior will only get worse. Another part of me is just hoping that with time and age he will improve a bit more.

[mountainside13]

I started my daycare in November of last year and my son has had a hard time transitioning to other children being in the home. I expected this as I knew it would be a bit hard on everyone getting used to littles being in our space. However, today I just feel like giving it all up. Before this I was a behavioral interventionist and a neuro rehabilitation specialist and felt confident that I could handle behavior problems successfully. The problem is my son. Well, of course he's not a problem. He's my everything but I see his struggle with the other children being here, daily. He's now become aggressive and pushes other children. If he is on time out he will rush another innocent bystander as if he is just giving his misery company. He's even thrown toys at other kids. Thank God no one has gotten seriously hurt. I have to shadow him all day and it gets pretty tiring. He has his own room, his own toys, but claims EVERYTHING as his being that it IS his home. Idk what to do. I stopped working outside of the home to be here with him and his sister who is due in June. He's always been very high strung and no one in my family except my Mother In Law can handle him. He needs very firm yet loving supervision but not everyone has the patience. If my own family members watch him they get so tired of him that they just give him free reign which is EXACTLY what he wants. I feel I'm the only one who is up for the task to deal with his difficult behaviors. I have seen a lot of improvement with him in regards to the daycare but I can't help but to notice that when all the kids are gone, he is an angel. He listens to me, helps me, and rarely gets himself into trouble.

Has anyone else had problems like this with their own children? What did you do to make things easier? Sometimes I feel like I made a bad decision for my child and am scared that his behavior will only get worse. Another part of me is just hoping that with time and age he will improve a bit more.

:hug::hug::hug:

My 2 year old was "born" into my daycare and still struggles at times. My 6 year old has been around it for 4.5 years and she struggles the most.

If you are registered PM me and maybe we could help each other. if not my email is mountainside13@ yahoo. com

[TwinKristi]

My 2yr old was born into daycare as well, I assisted in another daycare, nannied PT and watched 2 boys PT from when he was 3mos old, and then opened my own daycare when he was 8mos old. My DS is by far the worst behaved child of all the DCKs. I know its just a phase and he's also a very strong willed-child. His behavior doesn't change much after hours, he just doesn't have anyone to be mad at, he's not even 2.5 yet!

He's my helper a lot and he actually has gotten much better since he started talking more. He was a biter for a few months but now he started squeezing people's arm! At least its not nearly as painful as biting and doesn't leave marks!

[CraftyMom]

My son is about to turn 3. I opened in Nov 2012. It can be hard or him, and my whole family, but mostly him since he's here all day. Mostly it's been the last few months, I'm hoping it will blow over a bit. He has all his own toys in his room, but like the other posts thinks everything belongs to him since it's his house.

It's hard for our own kids. They have to share their house, toys, their mom...it's just not easy to explain to them. I definitely have cut him some slack, I allow him to have time away in the living room when he wants to get away. Some days he wakes up and just doesn't want other kids here, can't blame him!

I think it's normal! I can't see ANY of my dck's have an easy time with their house being taken over if it was the other way around.

[mindi1314]

I could have written your post myself. I started my daycare to be home with my son and once he turned into a toddler is was just so difficult ! I felt like all 5 other kids in care together didn't match the problem my own son was causing at daycare.
It was almost embarrassing at times in front of parents.
At times I considered hiring a half day nanny just to give ME a break.
It was hearthbreaking because I was doing daycare to be home with him and at times I did not enjoy even being around his bad behavior.
We started him in preschool at 3.5 years to get him out of the house 1/2 days and it worked wonders. He came home, at lunch, napped and then my husband was home.
I admire your honesty to post that and just wanted you to know you were not alone !

[misslori50]

we first did childcare when me son was 6 months. By the time he was 2 he would not play with the other children. We decided to close for the sake of my son. We started again last year when he was 11. Now he loves it and is my assistant.

[CraftyMom]

I could have written your post myself. I started my daycare to be home with my son and once he turned into a toddler is was just so difficult ! I felt like all 5 other kids in care together didn't match the problem my own son was causing at daycare.
It was almost embarrassing at times in front of parents.
At times I considered hiring a half day nanny just to give ME a break.
It was hearthbreaking because I was doing daycare to be home with him and at times I did not enjoy even being around his bad behavior.
We started him in preschool at 3.5 years to get him out of the house 1/2 days and it worked wonders. He came home, at lunch, napped and then my husband was home.
I admire your honesty to post that and just wanted you to know you were not alone !

I was thinking of this too, preschool in the fall 3 days a week, half day. He will be 3.5 by then. It will get him out of the house to have his own experiences, but he'll still be part of the daycare. He'll come home, have lunch and then nap. The only problem is lugging all the others around back and forth...

[Shell]

My ds is like this as well, and some days it is rough. He was born into my daycare, so he really doesn't know life any other way, and he actually enjoys having kids over to play. However, I can see his frustration when some of the kids start in with the crying, whining, etc. and I feel there are days when he's had too much. I tried preschool, but was really disappointed in the lack of any type of learning, and so much additional bad behavior was being learned there. I couldn't justify the cost for something that really wasn't beneficial to him. The compromise I have now is that my parents come by 1-2 days a week, and take ds out to lunch, to go swimming at the local Y, or just take him to a local art class, Target, wherever. He needs the break, and sometimes, and loves the extra attention he gets. Do you have any family/friends nearby that can help out?

Oops, re-reading I see that you have family, but they aren't very firm with him. Could you give them clear expectations and activities, maybe for a few hours here and there? It might save your sanity, and there are so many free activities during the day at local libraries, book stores, etc. I know for me, cost was an issue.

[DaisyMamma]

My 4dd was born into the daycare and she is by far the most difficult child I've had. So much so in fact that I had to put her into a preschool program to give her, and I, a break..
The year after that I switched to part time only with less kids and it made all the difference. But even now at 4.5 she won't think twice about pushing down a one year old. :confused: but of course she is an angel at her preschool!
It seems to be fairly common for children of providers to struggle.