I Need Advice

[megoddess444]

I have been doing daycare in my home for 5 years. About a 2 months ago i got a new infant(4months old at time) Let me give you a little history on him:
*Never sleeps. 2, 20 minute naps a day. I have him 7am to 4 pm
*Cries all the time unless you are holding him non stop(which i will not and cannot do)
Well, it took about a week, and i was able to get him on a schedule where he eats great and takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Awesome right? (He still has hysterical screaming fits for not being held but at least he sleeps)
Well the parents can't seem to duplicate this at home. (they say they try)
On Friday the baby(now6 month) SCREAMED for 2 hours straight. My helper and i tried everything. the only thing to get him to stop is hold him. So i told the parent about his screaming bout. She was very pissed off at me for letting him cry. I won't lie and tell a parent that the kid had a great day when he didn't.
So today, The baby got dropped off at 7 and SCREAMED till 11. Only time he would stop screaming is when he was eating or being held. So I called the mom and told her what was going on. She gives me the 500 questions about why he's screaming. If i knew why he was screaming i could fix him. She ends up picking him up from daycare and takes him to work with her. I apologized for calling her and her reaction was, "that's ok, i would rather you called then him scream all day" Then she said, "i will just hold him all day so he won't cry" Gee, i wonder why your kid is this way?? To top it off, the other parent calls me 5 minutes later asking me why their child is screaming? I told the parent, just like i told the first parent that i didn't know. i tried everything but i cannot just sit and hold him. Nor will i if i could. Basically what i'm getting at is this. I'm being blamed for their child crying when i'm doing all that i can. Trust me, i don't want to hear this baby cry all the time either. What should i say to these parents that i haven't already. Or is it a waste of my time and should i just let the baby go? Thanks in advance for all the help. sorry such a long post.

[NEDaycare]

Let him go

I would advise you to tell the parents you can not watch the child anymore. I had the same situation but the child was slightly older. All the other parents started wondering why the child was unhappy. It was that the child was NEVER put down. So, when I gave notice, the mother took the child and because her family owns assisted living centers all over the place, they just took the kid back to work with them, and he had someone hold him all day long. Dont feel bad about it. I did all I could, and you have, too. Is it really worth it for you? I got to where I dreaded..... dreaded waking up every morning knowing this kid was coming to daycare.

[Texasjeepgirl]

I agree with letting the child go also.
I am a busy busy woman...I do NOT have time to hold an infant nonstop.
I make sure they are fed, clean/dry diaper, and safe in whatever 'place' I put them, whether it be the high chair, the crib, the walker, bouncy chair...etc.
I might move them to another position if they seem unhappy...such as from the walker to the crib, or whatever...but after that...

If one child requires THAT MUCH additional care...On a regular, daily basis, JUST to keep that child from making everyone else in the room miserable...it's time to give the parents notice.

I have done it...
only twice in 17 years.
I realize the child is only 6 months old, and perhaps he would eventually grow through this stage...but after 2 months of working with him..I'd be ready to
explain to the parents that perhaps they need to find a 1 on 1 nanny for their child.

Having 1 child in your group that acts like that, makes the day unbearable for everyone...you...your assistant, and all the other children you care for.

[megoddess444]

Thank You

Thanks for responding....As it turns out, they called me this morning and said, "we are going to have someone else watch him, because we can't take off work all the time to pick him up." GOOD LUCK finding a daycare that won't call you is what i was thinking. I am soooo thankful they left. Parents can be really dense.

[tymaboy]

I make it clear to parents that I will not hold a baby/child just because they want to be held. I got rid of 1 in Dec. that did this (other issues with the family) What I did was put the baby in the pack & play until a) stopped crying or b) fell asleep.

I now have a newborn that I think the parents hold him all the time cuz he is always fussing until he is picked up then stops. I am trying to get him to understand right away that he will not be held constantly here & let him fuss.

[megoddess444]

Just to keep you all posted....I already replaced his spot, with a 5 year old. I love that age so much better. Thanks again for all the responses.

[Unregistered]

I too make it very, very clear that i will not and can not hold there child all day. I have worked with infants for a very, very long time so i can honestly say consistancy and persistance will and has always paid off for me. If all of the infants needs have been met, and you have given the infant sufficent love and hugs, then by all means PUT HIM DOWN! A baby never died or has been seriously injured from crying. Lay him down in a porta crib and let him cry. If you have to put the crib in another room then do so but check on the child and reasure the child that it is nap time and time to lay down. When i say persistance pays.......I had a 6 month old with the same problem and it took 2 weeks for me to achive my goal and sometimes it took me going into the room 20 times to lay him down and reasure him. But guess what, he got with the plan. If he cries for 2 hours then he cries for 2 hours. Parents are most likely 1st time parents, are they not? And the reason its not working for them at home is that they are giving in. For my infants they have 2 naps one at 9:30am and then again at 2:30pm, weather they cry or not! And if it is something you just don't have the time for......then i think i would have to let him go. If its any consulation, i have never had an infant i could not conform (HAHA) Now the 2 year old..........thats a different story, boy do they like to test ya!! And I've got 4 in my care now........Please pray for me!!!! LOL